There’s nothing quite like a leisurely Sunday Brunch. A relaxed pace. A gorgeous spring morning burning the dew away on the golf course outside. A perfect end to a nice weekend.

In our case, our trip to the Boar’s Head Inn’s Old Mill Room for brunch meant just a bit more. For us, it meant the end of a delicious chapter in our lives. And what a way to go out.

Leave your jeans and shorts at home — the Old Mill Room requires much classier dress. The amount of seersucker we saw this weekend could only be surpassed tomorrow at Foxfield.

Be prepared to spend a pretty penny on this feast, $27 a person. Yet, as you’ll see, we thought ever bite was well worth it.

In our first trip to the buffet, we quickly scanned the four main tables and discovered a plethora of choices such as eggs, waffles, fruit, ham, sausages, biscuits, salads, chicken, cheeses and cakes.

We began at the omelet station. There we selected a made-to-order omelet (Daniel: cheese and mushrooms, Allison: cheese, mushrooms and tomatoes) that was quickly prepared by one of the restaurant’s fine chefs. The omelet was fluffy and well presented, making it the perfect beginning to our meal. The omelets had the perfect amount of filling, making each bite a blend of textures and flavors.

Next, we moved left at this same table and filled our plates with waffles and ham. Two intricate Belgian waffle makers rested on the table, each producing three individual waffles for patrons. These waffles, however, were shaped like a boat, leaving a nice pool in the center for us to add fresh strawberries, whipped cream and maple syrup. We enjoyed the gravy boat addition, (it kept the syrup in the right place instead of running all over the plate) and appreciated the small portion.

Although we were hoping for traditional country ham, we instead were sliced a few thin pieces of a smoked Virginia ham. It made for a nice complement to the fluffy omelet and the soft waffle.

During our second trip to the buffet, our eyes definitely grew larger than our stomachs. We grabbed sausage, hash browns, cinnamon raisin bread pudding, gouda cheese, bacon, fresh fruit and grits. And to tell you that we enjoyed everything we tried would be completely true.

Of the lot, the grits, bacon and cinnamon raisin bread pudding topped our list. The grits were tender, flavorful and not runny — a runny grit is one of the worst brunch items out there. The bacon was crispy and seemed to melt in our mouths as we indulged.

One of our favorite items, the cinnamon raisin bread pudding easily could have been our dessert — it was that sweet and delicious. But we knew we had to go back for seconds and push on.

Next, we officially had brunch, making the transition from breakfast to lunch. We selected the Thai chicken, the marinated mushrooms, the tomato and mozzarella salad, the marinated artichoke salad, the assorted vegetable salad, the rice pilaf and the lobster and crab medley.

The Thai chicken, the lobster and crab medley and the marinated artichokes were exceptional. The chicken was grilled and topped with a light Thai peanut dressing that accented the chicken’s slightly smoky flavor.

Allison loved the lobster and crab medley. As has been the case throughout the year, we have enjoyed fish at almost every restaurant, and this stop was no different. The fish was tender and moist, leaving a nice sauce to accompany the seasoned vegetables in the medley. It could have been a whole meal in itself.

Taking a nice rest before dessert, the two of us recounted all of our fine dining experiences throughout the year. Here are a few of our secrets . . .

1. No, we never told the restaurants we were coming.

2. Daniel “just got a digital camera” about 20 times, giving him a good excuse when his flash went off in nice places like Zo-Ca-Lo.

3. The day he found out he could take pictures without his flash was a day that will live forever.

4. Allison is the one who ordered the duck and venison — hey, she’s from P.G.

After all the reminiscing, our stomachs had stretched and were ready for dessert. Not wanting to go overboard, we selected three — the chocolate cream crepe, the two-layer chocolate cake and the banana tort.

Of the three, the winner was the chocolate cream crepe — a rich and smooth chocolate cream folded inside a delicate crepe shell. The bite-sized desserts were of perfect buffet portion. We had two each.

As a student at the University, it would be a shame to graduate without having done brunch at the posh Boar’s Head Inn. The service is first rate, the food is excellent for a buffet brunch and the atmosphere cannot be rivaled by anything in Charlottesville. It was quite a treat. And it has been our treat as well.

The school year is about to end. Tempted by the weather and the wish to procrastinate, you hop into your car, roll down the windows and head toward Grounds to cruise for a little bit. Then you realize that it is not 4:30 yet, and the gate in front of the Newcomb bus stop is still down.

The impeding gate arms located in front of Newcomb and the Chemistry Building are frustrating for many students, but they are required to help relieve traffic on Grounds, according to Rebecca White, director of Parking and Transportation Services.

“We need the gates to reduce the car versus pedestrian conflict during the times when the pedestrians are mostly around,” White said.

Third-year Engineering student Ricky Yau, a UTS bus driver, said he doesn’t find the gates frustrating when driving.

“I think they are absolutely useful for the flow of traffic,” Yau said.

Not all students, however, said they feel the same way about the red-and-white-striped obstacles on Grounds.

“It’s very frustrating for first years to describe to parents or visitors to tell them how to get to the parking lots close to the dorms when they can’t take the main road,” first-year College student Katie Hanundel said.

The gates are down from 7:30 a.m. until 4:30 p.m., allowing the passage of only a handful of select vehicles.

“The UTS fleet, police cars and some of the house and facilities management cars are allowed to pass,” White said.

But the gates don’t stop certain vehicles from breaking through.

“People try to drive through them,” White said. “The gate arms are broken at least once or twice a week.”

When this occurs, the UTS drivers notify the Parking and Transportation Services which quickly repairs the gates, she said.

“We have a supply of gate arms in the back of the operations cars, so we fix them up quickly,” White said. “But if only one of them is broken, then we open up both the gates. We don’t want to tempt people coming the other way to switch lanes because of the absence of a gate.”

On occasion, the gates also cause minor accidents. Michelle Jackson, a first-year College student, said she witnessed such an accident.

“I saw someone leaning on their bicycle, thinking that he was going to miss the [gate arm]” Jackson said. “But he wasn’t leaning enough so it hit him on the chest, and he fell.”

You might hate the gates for preventing you from cruising around, or you might find them helpful in saving you from the wrath of speedy cars. But one thing is for sure — the gates are not going anywhere.

“The gates were here when I was here in 1980,” White said. “They even predate me.”

Creatures of habit. This expression may describe humans in general, but perhaps not the average University student.

“I feel like in college you can’t really get stuck on routines because no night is the same,” third-year Engineering student Mary Sunny McCoy said. “Even if you don’t go out, there’s always going to be something new or different that you’ll end up finding yourself doing. It’s all part of the college experience.”

A traditional night for a University student may be described best by first-year College student Galen MacCaba.

“Clouds part to let the moonlight fall upon the forest floor, as different clouds emanate from my pipe,” MacCaba said with an authentic Irish accent. “As the grey-white smoke departs, accompanied by a sweet odor, a certain euphoric glee descends upon me. Following in the footsteps of Poe, Coleridge and de Quincey, I embrace the ensuing haze of relaxation.”

MacCaba continued his unusual observation of University nighttime habits with behaviors many students could recognize.

“Having welcomed twilight to Charlottesville, I stroll back to my dorm room,” he said. “There, I observe roving bands of vocalists — self-styled ‘singers.’ These latter-day minstrels delight their auditors in the rooms above, whose Dixie cups spill over as they pre-game. Around the eleventh hour, old dorms disgorge their residents in one magnificent spasm toward Rugby Road.”

Or perhaps, the routine night for the average student is less poetic and a bit more chaotic. College provides an array of things for young people to do at night. At the University, many students say the activities never seem to come to an end.

It is not uncommon to see streams of joggers at all hours of the night, students engaging in late-night snacking at the Castle or Tree House, studiers packing all four floors of Clemons Library — only to take a short break at Alderman Cafe to refuel with caffeine — and the hardcore partiers hitting up the bars and/or fraternities every possible night of the week.

“Well, I usually start out my night with a stop at the Tree House at about 9 p.m.,” first-year College student Dan Hecht said. “I’ll start upstairs staring at whatever the special is, deciding whether it’s worth my precious plus dollars. Yeah, usually I figure an 89-cent cup-o-noodles is where the deal is at. Maybe it’s 79 cents. Anyway, what I know is I don’t have enough plus dollars to afford even one of those anymore. Well, not really. I equate fewer plus dollars with less of my inner workings being destroyed by the food at O-Hill.”

He grimaced while recalling cafeteria food before continuing to detail his nightly rituals point by point.

“Anyway, after that I usually head back to my suite, eat my MSG soaked cup-o-noodles and watch the TV with my never-working suitemates, hit the books in my room and am quickly distracted by Instant Messenger or thefacebook.com,” he said. “I try to escape that by going over to Webb lounge, but unfortunately I bring my computer so that doesn’t work. I usually finish the night entering my room around 3 a.m. and pretending to be quiet as not to wake up my roommate.”

Hecht grinned sarcastically before continuing his diatribe.

“And what I’m really doing is all I can to make sure he sleeps terribly, because I hate him,” he said, laughing and shaking his head. He then added, “No, just kidding on that last part.”

For many students, college is a time of pulling all-nighters. The Journal of American College Health reported that most college students only spend six out of the 24 hours in a day sleeping and that the average bedtime is 1:17 a.m. Some students said they would be lucky to be in bed by 1:17 a.m.

“By the time I get into bed at 3:30 in the morning, I’ve somehow managed to watch four hours of trashy TV and done no work,” first-year College student Michael Ann Bevivino said. “I think to myself, ‘There goes another wasted night of getting nothing accomplished.’ But really, those are some of the best kinds of nights.”

A study conducted by The National Survey of Student Engagement reported that as many as 63 percent of students spend less than 15 hours a week studying while 19 percent study less than five hours a week. Spending time with friends seems to be a favorite alternative to studying to finish the day among University students.

“It seems like every night during the week, no matter how much work I’ve got to get done, I find myself chilling with my best friends, driving around or watching movies until our eyes burn,” first-year College student Alisa Wulff said. “I’ve never watched so many movies in my life as I have in this one year.”

First-year dorms provide breeding grounds for a variety of behaviors and nightly routines. Music blares from open windows, and shadows of dancing figures move against the walls.

“My roommate Amy and I like to swing dance to ‘Brown-Eyed Girl’ at night sometimes,” first-year College student Michelle Freeman said before continuing sheepishly. “Yeah, we sing Disney songs sometimes too.”

While many students said they spend their nights around friends and roommates, other students said they find they enjoy sharing the night with a different kind of companion.

“After taking my puppy out for a walk, I get ready for the night’s festivities by blasting my stereo and putting on my sexy underwear,” first-year College student Steve Hromada said. “Then after a crazy night, I lay in my bed, with my puppy snuggling up close to me — at least I got something to hold at night, right?”

Numerous students said they enjoy the sleep and dreams that finish their busy days.

“When I go to sleep,” Winnie Chao, a first-year College student and women’s Club rugby player, said, “I dream of sweet victory in California next week, when U.Va. women’s rugby takes the national championship!”

In approximately 15 days (but who’s counting?), hundreds of University students will head to the beach to celebrate the end of classes and the opening of another summer of craziness.

When do they celebrate?

Sometime around May 7th.

Where do they celebrate?

Sketchy hotels in Myrtle Beach.

What do they celebrate?

The end of classes.

How do they celebrate this momentous occasion?

By partaking in various hedonistic activities involving, beer, liquor and the occasional 40 ounce bottle of fun.

Who do they celebrate with?

Their frat brothers, srat sisters, best friends and various sketchy characters they meet on their drunken escapades.

Now that we’ve gotten the basics out of the way, we can move on to the cool stuff. How can you manage to look stylish when you are partaking in debauchery 24/7 and operating on very little, if any, sleep?

Girls: You want to look cute, but don’t really have the time to mull over what to wear.

Do bring two bathing suits. You won’t really have time to wash the wine stain out of your only suit.

Don’t bring your nicest outfits. Beach Week is basically a week long frat party, complete with beer spills and (sand?) sludge.

Do make sure your bathing suit is flattering. When buying a suit, remember that it will stretch to about half a size bigger when it’s wet. Also, suits with higher cut bottoms make your legs look longer, patterned or printed tops maximize a small bust and tons of straps and such seem to make weird areas of your body bulge (so not cool). Also, make sure to tie your straps tight, because you don’t want to bear all on the first day of the week!

Don’t forget a camera. Even if pictures are upside down or sideways, you will always want to remember those nights you forget.

Do bring some cute stuff for after dark. A lot of designer shows this season, such as Versace and Missoni, include novel ways to wear a cute suit out at night. For example, wear a black bikini top under a black mesh top. You’ll not only look city chic, but you’ll also be ready for that late night swim with the cute boy you’ve been eyeing all week.

Don’t be obsessive about brushing your hair. How amazing is that beachy-tousled-I-don’t-care-because-I’m-so-hot-right-now look?

Do remember that it gets a little cool at night, especially near the water. Bring a fitted hoodie or lightweight fleece to keep from feeling chilly.

Don’t think that just because you’re hung over, you have to look like death. Put cold tea bags, cucumbers or ice cubes (maybe cold beer cans will work too), on your eyes to depuff and minimize redness. Drink tons of water to hydrate and remember you can stay sober just for a day. That way, you can make fun of all your drunken friends and make up stories about what they did when they ask you once they’re sober. Things like, “yeah, you actually did hook up with that guy with the peg leg and missing front tooth! I mean, I didn’t think he was that bad…” will definitely fool them.

Do remember to wear stuff on your lips. After all, you may be smooching with that special one-night someone sometime soon, and you wouldn’t want chapped lips, would you? Brands like Clinique and Chanel have come out with awesome new lip glosses with built-in SPFs.

Boys have fewer options as far as fashion, which also results in fewer opportunities to make faux pas.

Do remember that taking a dive in the ocean does not constitute a shower.

Don’t wear a speedo. Packages belong under Christmas trees, not at the beach.

Do pick out some stylish swimming trunks, as you will be spending a lot of time in them. Think about how many guys will have those A&F ones you’ve been eyeing, and try to find some that are a little more unique. Remember, hawaiian flowers are not as cool as you think they are.

Don’t think that just because you’re at Beach Week you can treat every girl you meet like a one night wonder.

Do realize that girls know that you’re trying to show off when you walk around without your shirt on all the time. No matter how nice your body is, no one wants it in their face every second of the day.

Hopefully I’ve enlightened you all with my little list of Do’s and Don’ts, but no matter what you wear, remember: Do have fun!

To my lovely readers: Look out for my column next year… see you all in the fall!

Summer’s in the air, finals loom on the horizon and it’s that time of year for those of us wrapping up our time at the paper — so without further ado, we present this semester’s Pink Flamingos:

The Trojan Man Award goes to Del. Bob Marshall, for his efforts to end college fornication.

The No Representation with Taxation Award goes to the Virginia House of Delegates and their firm commitment to seeing Virginia’s budget all the way to rock bottom.

The Lost in Syndication Award goes to Bob Saget for his complete incompetence at stand-up comedy. Where’s Danny Tanner when you need him?

The Best Special Effects Award goes to the IMP Society. Really, there aren’t enough out-of-control bonfires on the Lawn.

The Mathematically Impossible Tally Award goes to Rebeen Pasha for his inept calculation of election results.

The Stalkers’ Anonymous Award goes to TheFacebook.com. As if we didn’t need another reason not to leave our computers.

The What Are We Compensating for Award goes to the Diversity Center and its 61-inch plasma television.

The Who Wants to Be a Millionaire Award goes to the over 300 CIOs who applied for appropriations this spring. We hope some of them escaped unscathed by the process.

The Perfect Storm Award goes to Hurricane Isabel. It takes a real force of nature for the University to cancel classes.

The Best Anachronism Award goes to the Charlottesville Police Department for its use of cutting-edge technology within a painful centuries-old context.

The Politico Incest Award goes to Student Council President-elect Noah Sullivan and President Daisy Lundy, for their impending switch of offices, president and chief of staff.

The It’s the Economy, Stupid Award goes to the Graduate Labor Union. Despite their good intentions, they remain oblivious to the skyrocketing health care costs nationwide. They’re not alone.

The Nine Lives Award goes to Pete Gillen. We don’t mean to be NIT-picky, but things better be looking up for next year.

The Stop, You’re Wearing Lamb Chop Award goes to the UGG sheepskin boots trend. No, they do not look good with skirts.

The Calm Out of Chaos award goes to the University Board of Elections. After last year’s elections fiasco, the UBE proved that the system can be efficient in the right hands.

The Room with a View Award goes to endowed Lawn rooms. Why are they still around? Then again, how else would the Jeff Society get on the Lawn?

The Don’t Make Me Ground You Award goes to Gov. Mark R. Warner. At least someone was able to put our squabbling legislators in their place.

The Multiple Personality Award goes to Council Rep. Tom Gibson, for praising Lundy and her administration in print while lamenting Sullivan’s cabinet nominations behind their back. Note to Tom: Might want to go off the record a little sooner in the conversation.

The Cowardly Lion Award goes to President John T. Casteen III for not going public with an opinion about domestic partner benefits. The students have spoken — now he should too.

The Glue that Holds Us Together Award goes to Sharon Bradley, our office manager. We couldn’t do it without her.

The Thanks for Giving up the Sun Award goes to our staff. They sacrifice grades, social lives and any sense of the progression of time by coming down to the basement of Newcomb Hall to put out a paper every day.

I WAS sitting in my office in the Women’s Center this past Friday, a glorious Charlottesville day outside my window, drifting on white lace of dogwoods, blue sky of spring. The voice now on the other end of the telephone was familiar but not familiar. “Where are the women?” the voice was strained, and then cracked. “I’ve read the stories in the national news this week about the rapist, and the misuse of DNA, but where are the women?”

The caller was a student I had known — but had not known. I had not known until now that she was a victim of the serial rapist. Her usually strong assertive voice faded in and out as she talked, broke down, then talked again, about her feeling of being invisible.

As I listened, I understood that she was not saying that the misuse of DNA in the attempt to apprehend the rapist was acceptable. She believes that the targeting of black men is wrong. She knows that the inappropriate use of the powerful tool of DNA, and the impact on black men, is a story that needs to be told. All similiar to the “crime” of “Driving While Black,” the humiliation, the rage, the shame and the invasion of mouth with swab and life — is an injustice that needs to be named.

What she was saying was that she did not hear from those of us in the community who work with rape victims — people like me — about her story, and the stories of other rape survivors, in a way that truly engaged the community. She wants us to respond much more powerfully and publicly to the existence of rape. She wants us to acknowledge another “crime” — “Living While Female” — also a cause of humiliation and rage and pain.

I don’t know if the student I’m speaking with is being “fair.” The Take Back the Night march, for instance, and the Survivors Speak Out that followed, were very powerful. The many students, men and women, who attended the march clearly are there for survivors. The students of SAFE, of One in Four, of many other groups, commit themselves to change. The faculty in Student Affairs, the Women’s Center, the Office of African-American Affairs, the Studies in Women and Gender Department and many other locations respond with depth and sensitivity to survivors.

But I do know she is right. We do find it hard to listen to the stories of the survivors of sexual assault. In my own case, I believe that is because I was assaulted in college by a group of men — blue-collar white young men who were angry with the middle-class students “who had it made” at my small college. When I truly listen to the student’s voice on the telephone, to her story, more carefully, with more care, when I let it into my consciousness more fully, I remember another story too — my own — that is complicated and painful.

What can we do about a culture where rape of women — women of all races, ethnicities, nationalities — is so prevalent? In every small town, in every city, in Western countries, in Muslim countries, in rich countries and poor ones, from the border towns of Mexico, to war zones everywhere.

And here at home. In the best city in the USA.

What do we do?

We listen to the stories of survivors. We tell our own.

We support the proper use of tools like DNA, while we condemn uses that are racist or simply born out of frustration. We don’t let the pain of racism and the pain of rape be pitted against each other in some grotesque parody of “Survivor.”

According to the student who called me on that beautiful Friday afternoon, we reclaim the word “victim” for those who experience rape, while not letting go of “survivor.” She tells me, with passion, that she is both.

We let women know there is support for the victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault. We support and publicize resources. Numerous survivors have sought counseling this year at CAPS and the Women’s Center and SARA. Student Affairs and the Office of Residence Life are committed to the best training possible for RAs, often the front line advocates for survivors, especially the youngest victims in our community.

We find more support than currently exists. We work to make our support and judicial systems better.

And because we do that, we don’t shut out those voices, those stories, those lives. The lives of victims and survivors. The lives of our friends, our classmates, our mothers, our sisters. The lives of other human beings. The lives of ourselves.

Sharon Davie is the director of the University Women’s Center.

CHARLOTTESVILLE was recently ranked number one among places to live in the United States by “Cities Ranked & Rated.” While University students are fond of our college town, most would be hard-pressed to say that Charlottesville is the most exciting place to live. It is undeniable that students will develop an itch of boredom here at some point or another. At times, I’ve been surprised at the ability of some students to liven up the University scene.

This past weekend, however, I was shocked by one such event. I happened to stop by a party at AEPi on Friday night, which itself was a rarity for me. The party had an “under the sea” theme, complete with shiny plastic dolphins on the wall and tons of beach balls. After wandering around for a while, I stumbled upon a large crowd on the back porch surrounding a baby pool. I then noticed a number of guys picking up goldfish out of the water and eating them alive.

It was quite a spectacle. Here were a group of grown men surrounded by a few dozen girls cheering them on in awe. Some dropped the goldfish into their drinks and chugged them down, while others preferred to swallow them. I’m not sure exactly what I found most disgusting — the way these people were treating the defenseless fish, the fact that they were actually swallowing an animal alive or the attention and admiration they received for this heinous display.

Perhaps I wrongly assumed that University students were a bit more mature. Drunken debauchery occurs on every college campus, but this was exceptional.

I shouldn’t have been surprised at what I observed, though. This sort of behavior is far from limited to students at the University, and even to college students as a whole. We live in a society that not only accepts these atrocious acts, but rewards them. Shows such as NBC’s highly-rated “Fear Factor” are exemplars of this. Perhaps I’m missing something, but I see nothing laudable about a 30 year old who can drink a maggot milkshake or eat cow eyeballs.

Yet sadly, people actually make money from creating these disgusting concepts. Even more deplorable are those that are actually willing to sell themselves out to make $50,000. What does all of this say about the value our society places on work, money and sense of self? There is clearly something amiss in our culture if this behavior is viewed as generally acceptable, regardless of its entertainment value.

In the end, it can all be reduced to the raw power of a dollar. Why do real work when you can chew on a couple tarantulas in front of a few hundred thousand people and make as much money as you might normally make in a year’s time? It’s ridiculous that many of us are literally willing to do anything for money, and even more so the fact that many are proud of this.

The media and entertainment industry have played the most important role in making this behavior acceptable. Reality shows like “Survivor,” “Joe Millionaire” and “The Apprentice” consistently appear in the top 10 of Nielsen’s TV ratings list due to the several million Americans that sit down every evening and tune in.

Reality television without fail lures over double the viewers that most television dramas and comedies do. Are our lives so incredibly boring that we feel the need to live vicariously through other people? It seems that in this case one could at least sit down with a good novel. I’m sorry, but listening to Donald Trump repeatedly tell his so-called employees “you’re fired” simply doesn’t do it for me. I think that as Americans, we’re selling ourselves short by succumbing to this.

The way that the entertainment industry glorifies and commercializes the disgusting and the obscene legitimizes this type of behavior, when it is anything but acceptable. In fact, it’s just another indicator of how easily our minds can be warped by what we’re exposed to. Call it human nature if you’d like — but next time you change the channel to your favorite reality TV show, consider picking up a book instead.

Todd Rosenbaum’s column appears Fridays in The Cavalier Daily. He can be reached at trosenbaum@cavalierdaily.com.

WHILE exorbitant amounts of money are funneled into a political battle over abortion, society suffers by having to pay the opportunity cost of this ongoing dispute. Rather than focus time and resources on challenging a woman’s right to choose, American society should divert these scarce resources to attacking the causes of abortion.

First of all, the quickest and surest way to slash the number of abortions is to make contraception both readily available and affordable. There are at least over three million unintended pregnancies each year, about 1.3 million of which end in abortion. Hundreds of thousands of these could have been prevented had the couple had access to cheap contraception. Rather than consolidate efforts to administer such seemingly palpable measures, many of those who are opposed to abortion also raise loud voices against family planning centers, which openly provide support to millions of low-income women and teenagers. According to Planned Parenthood, family planning centers as well as other publicly funded programs help “avert 1.3 million [unwanted] pregnancies and 632,000 abortions.”

While some may immediately claim that these centers are costly to the government, the National Organization for Women (NOW) shows that for every public dollar spent in family planning services, more than three dollars is saved in the following year that would have “otherwise be spent for health and welfare services associated with unintended births.” Others may squawk about the fact that Planned Parenthood’s centers provide abortions, but the point is that greater funding will help them prevent the number of abortions they have to give. Given all of these facts, reasonable pro-choice and pro-life advocates should form an alliance, abandoning their claims about abortion in exchange for a multilateral effort to prevent unwanted pregnancies by making contraception easily accessible and affordable, if not free for those who need it most.

Second, as with many important issues, the devil is in the details — the false details. In today’s America, those most likely to be misinformed about the reproductive process and concurrently have an unwanted pregnancy are teenagers. Rather than being insured such an education in order to promote civil responsibility, teens inevitably get their facts from unreliable sources: television, movies and equally naive peers. Evidently, relying on parents to educate their kids on the awkward subject of sex is ineffective. Putting such an undue burden on parents is both unrealistic and unfair, and leads to the creation of a cycle of uninformed parents passing myths on to their children.

According to NOW, although numbers vary based on how the question is worded, a strong supermajority of parents believe that sex education programs should be provided in community settings such as schools. While a small minority of orthodox parents may stress that such programs promote sexual activity, this claim is unfounded, because all of such programs promote abstinence as not only a legitimate route, but the optimal option. Nonetheless, as college students we all know that there are kids that will have sex regardless of how much we preach abstinence, thus at least providing them with basic knowledge about sex is essential. Increasing the availability of knowledge to those who are most vulnerable to a lack thereof can only have one effect: decreasing unwanted pregnancies (and therefore decreasing the number of abortions).

Many pro-life advocates will retaliate by making the audacious claim that an even better way to reduce the number of abortions is by completely outlawing abortion. This claim, both uncompromising and unfounded, completely neglects not only history, but also contemporary studies conducted by reliable organizations. For example, although official records of illicit activities are not kept, the estimates of illegally performed abortions per year in pre-Roe v. Wade America ranged as high as 1.2 million per year.Furthermore, according to NOW, between 1880 and 1973, many “thousands of woman died or suffered serious medical problems after attempting to self-induce their abortions or going to untrained practitioners who performed abortions with primitive methods or in unsanitary conditions.” Clearly, the era when abortions were illegal is not a glorious one, nor one that needs to be revisited.

More evidence from nations in which abortion is illegal further buttresses this analysis. For example, according to the World Health Organization, of the 46 million abortions performed annually around the globe, roughly 20 million occur in dangerous conditions due to “poorly trained providers, unsanitary circumstances, and crude and dangerous methods of self-inducement.” This results in the annual death of 80,000 women, thus “accounting for at least 13 percent of global maternal mortality.” Many thousands more face long-term health problems that “range from chronic pelvic pain to infertility.” Also important is that almost all of these deaths and damages could be avoided granted safe conditions that can only be offered in two ways: illegally to the rich, or legally to all.

Too often, opponents of an ideology will argue for their beliefs without considering either the plausibility or the actual effects of it. In this case, proponents of the pro-life dogma believe that eliminating abortion will lead to “no more babies being killed.” This fallacious belief results in the mobilization of their adversaries, the pro-choice lobby, and subsequently creates a perpetual feud that consumes millions of dollars and endless amounts of time.

If the pro-life lobby wins, the result is that a woman’s privacy is invaded in the name of morals, but more importantly, abortions continue at steady and large rates, except with one stipulation: Many mothers, especially poor ones, will perform unsafe, illegal abortions that can result in death. Since 1973, the pro-choice lobby has generally been the victor in the battle, yet they have no choice (ironically) but to continue to defend their position. This futile battle would be better replaced by a conjoined, consolidated effort to lower the number of abortions by attacking the problems that unnecessarily increase the number of abortions. This would secure the pro-choice lobby’s support while making the better satisfying the pro-life lobby by decreasing the number of abortions without impeding on a mother’s privacy and right to choose.

Sina Kian’s column appears Fridays in The Cavalier Daily. He can be reached at skian@cavalierdaily.com

THE BOY I tutor one night brought home an assignment to write a poem. He enjoyed himself at work more than I had ever seen before. In large part, children most love learning when teachers ask them to use their own creativity and innovation to solve problems. After he finished, the boy asked why his school didn’t give him more assignments like this one.

In the weeks before, we had worked on a dry test packet his teachers had sent home to prepare him for Virginia’s Standards of Learning tests. We paged through a thick stack of photocopies taken from a past Texas Assessment of Academic Skills test, which President George W. Bush expanded and renamed as Texas’s governor.

In the end, my little drama unfolds only as an anecdote from the national experience of recent years. The nationwide onslaught of school testing, fueled mostly by Republicans (and Democratic centrists) with their desire for “accountability” in a school system they see as stubbornly failing, has not helped our children learn or expand their minds. Not only do these policies usually make for worse educations, but they head students in a fundamentally wrong direction.

It’s difficult to tell where to start assaulting the stupidities of the testing regime. Over 40 states and the federal government require repeated standardized tests, and many tie their education funds to various performance standards. Not only do these laws make a gargantuan mistake by tacking funds onto school performance (so that schools that are “failing” often due to their few resources actually receive less), they also make a second and even larger one: They measure “failure” or “success” with test scores.

Indeed, as any principal at a “failing” low-income school could tell you, their first successes come when children from their neighborhoods, raised largely without college expectations, show up in the first place and demonstrate a love of learning. Strangely enough, these factors rarely enter the states’ calculations of “success,” while principals (especially in poorer districts) now face losing their jobs if they can’t turn around superficial test scores with fewer and fewer resources.

The paranoia the testing regime brews among school administrators has poisoned our education system. In Texas, many school principals have purposefully manipulated their test populations — taking preparation focus off those on the bottom deemed “hopeless,” limiting the amount of students taking the tests — to keep their jobs. Of course, non-tested students do not advance. Teachers nationwide have to burn valuable class time teaching their students multiple-choice guessing strategies in order to secure state and federal moneys. Ultimately, the system does not principally penalize lazy or underperforming school workers. It punishes the students, and no government can heal the thousands of neglected minds and children left behind.

The funding schemes and success metrics enacted in the name of “accountability” only create a system where middle-class schools meet standards and drain funding from money-starved “failing” schools, usually poorer. This dynamic creates the perennial underperformance that conservative testing regime proponents cite as a reason to implement stricter standards. In the meantime, the same legislators fund barely-regulated charter schools, voucher programs and school-change provisions that mostly exacerbate white or middle-class flight. These legislators will do anything to solve the education problem — except create an equitable system.

But even if legislators engineered a just funding system, even if they measured school performance more accurately (and even if the White House fully funded its own bill), the aim of the testing regime is fundamentally false. In fact, this education scheme perhaps represents conservatives’ biggest gift to big business. Not only do these regulations feed large-scale publishers in a standardized testing industry, measured at $234 million in 2000, but at the expense of learning and creativity, they design the type of “problem solvers” that large employers have requested of the states: ones that think inside the box. Learning has become a matter of “inputs and outputs,” both to the testing companies that profit from this legislation and to the big businesses that prefer well-oiled automotons to creative thinkers. At the point we design our schools as feeders into cubicles, we have betrayed our children. These policies have abandoned the idea of liberal education while sacrificing our children’s minds at the altar of productivity.

Soon, another class will graduate from the University’s Curry School. They will leave aiming to inspire children despite their expanding role as drill coordinators. And when their students enter the University, will they present the same mental energy and creativity that a good education should feed? Indeed, education should not only train the mind, but free it. But in an abstract sense, our children remain prisoners to fumbling policymakers with the wrong intentions.

Michael Slaven’s column appears Fridays in The Cavalier Daily. He can be reached at mslaven@cavalierdaily.com.

Students returning to the University next fall will find the Virginia state government running under its next two-year budget. What that budget will be and whether it will be agreed upon before the end of this semester remains uncertain.

The House of Delegates and the Senate still have not agreed on how much revenue Virginia should raise over the next two years, which taxes should be increased to provide for that revenue and which services should be funded. The impasse has led to an unprecedented special session extending long apast the scheduled end of the legislature’s business in March.

Both houses continue to seek some form of compromise, however, and that compromise could take shape as soon as today, when both houses are scheduled to meet.

Since the House narrowly passed a compromise tax bill April 13, the Senate Finance Committee has been studying the bill, and Del. Rob Bell, R-Charlottesville, said there was a chance the committee would have a counterproposal for today.

“Obviously we’re all hoping that some kind of deal can be reached in the next few days,” Bell said.

According to Del. Mitch Van Yahres, D-Charlottesville, however, the committee continues to debate whether the bill provides for enough revenues to meet state spending needs.

“They have not come to any conclusions,” Van Yahres said. “They’re having some problems.”

Even if an agreement is reached soon, it will come after day 100 of this year’s legislative session, which occurred yesterday. The regular session was scheduled to last 60 days.

University Politics Prof. Larry J. Sabato said the 100-day milestone was embarrassing for Virginia.

“Look at what Franklin Delano Roosevelt achieved in his first 100 days, and then look at what this General Assembly has done in 100 days,” Sabato said. “It’s pitiful.”

Van Yahres said May 14 was an important date because local governments were set to receive funds from the state government. School boards are in the same bind, he said.

“They don’t know what kind of money they’re getting from the state,” Van Yahres said.

The Senate has pared down its $4 billion revenue increase proposal to $2.5 billion, while the House tax bill would raise about $750 million in revenue, more than the House’s initial proposal of $520 million. Gov. Mark R. Warner’s proposed budget would raise approximately $1 billion.

The houses also clash over how the money should be raised — senators want an increase in sales, cigarette and income taxes, while delegates have expressed a desire to raise revenue by eliminating tax exemptions for businesses. The compromise tax bill passed by the House increased the sales and cigarette taxes but not the income tax.

While little has occurred publicly since passage of the compromise tax bill, Sabato said legislators negotiating outside of the spotlight could help get a budget passed.

“Look, the last thing this process needs is more quasi-negotiating with TV cameras,” Sabato said. “If they negotiated in public, they would start posturing, and the whole thing would fall apart.”