The Virginia women’s soccer team is embarking on an important road trip this weekend. After traveling to Durham, N.C. yesterday, the Cavaliers will drive down the turnpike to Winston-Salem to face the No. 23 Wake Forest Demon Deacons Sunday.

Wake Forest is sure to be a tough test for Virginia. The fact that the Demon Deacons are ranked just within the top 25 nationally assures that the match won’t be an easy one for the Cavaliers. To make matters worse, Virginia will play Wake Forest on the road less than three days after its evening game at Duke, and two ACC road games in four days is an extremely tough test for any team.

“This is a competitive league,” Virginia coach Steve Swanson said. “And if you don’t show up to play, you’re going to get beat, especially away from home.”

Wake Forest (5-3-1) has posted impressive victories over then-No. 13 West Virginia, Pepperdine and Louisville. Wake Forest’s victory over West Virginia was especially impressive because the win came on the road in Morgantown, W.Va. Senior defender Ashley Burney headed home the winning goal in the 87th minute to give the Demon Deacons the victory in the closing minutes of the game.

The Demon Decons “are always tough, especially at their place,” Swanson said.

Wake Forest is led on offense by sophomore forward Jill Hutchinson, who leads the team in goals (5) and points (11). In fact, Hutchinson recently earned ACC Player of the Week honors for posting five points and leading her team to a perfect 2-0 record in the past seven days. On the defensive side of the field, Wake Forest has enjoyed stellar play in the goal from freshman goalkeeper Amanda Barasha. Barasha has only allowed three goals all season and is currently maintaining a 78.6 save percentage.

“We play Wake [Forest] two or three times almost every year, whether it’s in the ACC Tournament or in the NCAA Tournament,” Swanson said. “There have always been very good games and very close games [between us]. There is a rivalry in general that goes back a long way.”

Virginia’s Sunday afternoon matchup with Wake Forest will also be tough because the Demon Deacons will be looking for revenge. In last year’s NCAA Tournament Virginia defeated Wake Forest 2-0 and eliminated the Demon Deacons from the competition. Wake Forest surely has not forgotten about last season’s results and will likely be looking to exact some measure of revenge on the Cavaliers this weekend.

“Wake Forest is a big game,” senior midfielder Julia Falk said. “We run across them a lot and beat them in the NCAA [Tournament], so they’re going to want to get us back.”

The Virginia women’s volleyball team heads south this weekend to take on Georgia Tech and Clemson in its toughest conference road trip of the season.

Virginia (7-5, 2-1 ACC) will take on Georgia Tech (8-4, 2-0 ACC) Friday night then travel to Clemson (9-2, 2-0 ACC) to face off against the Tigers on Saturday.

The Cavaliers are coming off of a disappointing loss to Miami at home last weekend and a tough week in the classroom as well as on the court.

“I think it’s a good week for us to be away,” Virginia coach Melissa Aldrich Shelton said. “The girls have been pretty distracted with their first round of tests and that sort of thing, so it’s actually pretty nice to get out of town and put all of those things behind us so we can just concentrate on volleyball. We’re looking forward to the trip.”

Virginia will have to give a strong performance if it expects to win either of its matches this weekend.

“They’re both really tough teams, at the top of the stats in just about every category,” Shelton said of Georgia Tech and Clemson. “They play with a lot of passion and heart and they’re going to be out for some vengeance since we finished above them last season.”

The Cavaliers will look to their setter tandem of freshman Kelly Irvin and junior Marlow Bruneau to get the offense back on track after a subpar performance against Miami.

It is up to them to get the ball to senior outside hitter Sarah Kirkwood and sophomore outside hitter Lauren Dickson. Kirkwood is second in the ACC in kills per game with 4.64.

Seniors Melissa Caldwell and Katie Oakes look to anchor the defense. Caldwell is seventh in the ACC in digs per game and Oakes ranks fourth in the conference in blocks.

Georgia Tech, the preseason pick to finish second in the ACC, is coming off a weekend sweep at North Carolina and N.C. State, defeating both schools 3-1.

The Yellow Jackets are one of the most balanced teams in the conference and are led by preseason All-ACC selections Lindsey Gray and honorable mention All-American Ulrike Stegemann.

Clemson, picked in the preseason to finish fourth in the conference, also garnered a pair of victories away from home against both North Carolina and N.C. State.

Setting the tone for Clemson are preseason All-ACC selections Danielle Hepburn and Jeanette Abbott. Hepburn ranks sixth in the conference in kills per game (3.82), while Abbott is 10th in the ACC in points per game (4.11).

The Cavaliers will definitely have their hands full this weekend, but these are matches they need to win in order to reach their ultimate goal of obtaining a bid to the NCAA Tournament.

With two tough road matches, Virginia will learn a lot about itself and where it ranks among the conference elite.

“I think this will be a good weekend to indicate where we stand in the conference,” Caldwell said. “And to prove to ourselves that yes, we can compete against these top teams and that we should be one of the teams to beat.”

Last weekend, in nearly identical fashion to last year’s “Boston Massacre,” Virginia took on Boston College and Boston University on back-to-back days, and came up short both times. Virginia lost 2-1 Saturday to Boston College and 3-0 Sunday to Boston University. Prior to the weekend, players and coaches alike talked about redeeming themselves after last season’s trouncing by the two schools and about the importance of starting off the ACC season strong. After the dust settled last weekend, Virginia accomplished neither.

“We just didn’t buy into our gameplan,” junior Inge Kaars Sijpesteijn said. “We just didn’t believe in ourselves, and you could see it on the field.”

One area in which the Cavaliers (5-4, 0-1 ACC) experienced problems during the weekend was in short corners on both offense and defense. Offensively, the Cavaliers earned 17 short corners over the weekend, but did not convert on any of them. Defensively, they allowed just six short corners, two of which were converted for goals. For the Cavaliers to be competitive in the ACC, the consistency on these set pieces and the overall Cavaliers’ determination in the circle will have to improve.

“We practice it [short corners] a lot, it’s just determination,” Kaars Sijpesteijn said. “It’s hard to score out of one corner, it’s usually a rebound or something, and we have to learn to get on it.”

After the disappointing showing last weekend, Virginia does not plan on dwelling on the downfall. As they plan to take on No. 2 Maryland (9-0, 2-0 ACC) in College Park this weekend, the Cavaliers will have to leave their shortcomings exactly where they happened: in Charlottesville.

“We can talk about it forever, but it’s no use, we just have to do it,” Kaars Sijpesteijn said. “It’s every person for [herself] to change the mindset.”

Virginia will have to turn itself around quickly in order to compete with a team of the Terrapins’ caliber. In their nine games, the Terrapins have allowed just six goals and have shut out their opponents five times. Offensively, freshman Katie O’Donnell has 12 goals and 12 assists to lead a Maryland team that averages 4.6 goals per game. Although Maryland is certainly the favorite, the Cavaliers think they can handle the challenge as long as they enter the game with the right mental approach.

“We’re a good team, it’s just our mental mind-set — how we go in the game,” Kaars Sijpesteijn said. “If we dare to give everything we can and just stick to the game plan, I think we could do a lot of good things.”

If nothing else, Virginia can be comforted by the fact that they have been through this ordeal before. After falling to Boston College and Boston University last year, the Cavaliers recovered to win five of their next six games.

“If you’re going to be a good team, you have to be able to turn these things into positive experiences,” coach Michele Madison said. “If you don’t learn something from a loss then it wasn’t worth losing.”

Two years ago, then-freshman Patrick Nyarko led the Virginia Tech Hokies to a 2-1 come-from-behind victory over the Virginia men’s soccer team at Klöckner Stadium. Tonight, as the in-state rivals go head-to-head once again, that memory serves as additional motivation for the Cavaliers to pick up their first ACC win of the season.

“Tonight is going to be our biggest game of the year — it’s our home ACC opener,” Virginia coach George Gelnovatch said. “We are very conscious and aware that they’re a talented team and we have a lot of respect for them. We are hoping for an exciting game.”

Back in 2005, Virginia Tech trailed 1-0 with a little under 10 minutes to go in the game. In a span of just eight minutes, Nyarko put two goals past Virginia and the Cavaliers left the field stunned.

“Patrick Nyarko single-handedly, two years ago, beat us here” Gelnovatch said. “For me, he is one of the most dangerous guys in college soccer.”

In last year’s contest, Virginia picked up the win in Blacksburg, outscoring the Hokies 3-1. Since then, however, Gelnovatch feels that Virginia Tech has improved greatly and should no longer be considered one of the weaker ACC teams.

Indeed, Virginia Tech (6-1-1, 1-0-0) is ahead of Virginia (6-1-1, 0-0-0) in the ACC after having already won a conference match. The No. 4 Cavaliers, however, outrank the No. 12 Hokies on the national level, according to the National Soccer Coaches Association of America poll.

Virginia’s ACC opener against N.C. State last weekend resulted in a 2-2 draw. Coaches and players alike focused this week on heading into tonight’s match fully prepared. In an effort to avoid the fatigue that plagued the team last Saturday, the Virginia coaching staff worked hard to manage players’ cumulative minutes this past week, especially during the mid-week contest against Mount St. Mary’s.

“It’s been a tough stretch of two weeks,” Gelnovatch said.”But some guys are making some progress who normally are getting just a little time. Some first-year guys and some second-year guys are making some real progress as we rest the starters.At the very least, it just makes us deeper.”

Also working in the Cavaliers’ favor tonight is their home-field advantage. Virginia remains a formidable force in Charlottesville, dropping only one game at Klöckner since the beginning of last season. That said, while the Hokies will deal with a hostile environment, they proved they could overcome the challenge two years ago.

“It’s a really big rivalry,” sophomore Ross LaBauex said. “I’m not from here but I can tell that all the Virginians get up for this. I feel like it will be a packed house and I’m excited for it. We just have to make sure we come out hard and get a victory.”

The heartbreak was so poignant, it could be seen anywhere, on a national television broadcast or behind the face mask of a football helmet.

With a 38-13 loss for the Cavaliers Sept. 2, 2006, Pittsburgh slapped Virginia its rudest awakening to start a season in recent history. An 0-1 record had never felt worse — until maybe this year, when Wyoming blew out the Cavaliers 23-3 in Laramie.

Virginia (3-1, 3-0 ACC) never bounced back in 2006, finishing 5-7. This year, however, after three straight wins, the Cavaliers have tended to their wounds. Saturday, Virginia has the chance to reclaim dignity never attained in 2006.

“They embarrassed us on national TV,” sophomore Jeffrey Fitzgerald said. “Last year was not indicative of this season.”

Pittsburgh’s victory in 2006 catapulted the Panthers to a 6-1 record, before losing their last five games. Virginia’s matchup epitomized the problems the Cavaliers struggled with all season. The offense never got off the ground and the secondary couldn’t stop the big play.

One year later, Virginia is the best it’s been since beating Florida State in 2005, and the Panthers are struggling to hold on.

After taking down Eastern Michigan and Grambling, the Panthers are losers of their last two games, and have handed the reigns to true freshman Pat Bostick. Bostick will be the third quarterback of the season to start a game for Pittsburgh after starter Bill Stull was injured in the season opener against Eastern Michigan. Coming off the bench in two games, Bostick has completed 64 percent of his passes and thrown one touchdown and four interceptions.

Starting in the backfield for the Panthers is freshman LeSean McCoy, who averages 6.4 yards per carry.

Like McCoy and Bostick, Virginia sophomore quarterback Jameel Sewell saw no action in last year’s contest. Junior tailback Cedric Peerman got only seven touches last year at Pittsburgh.

While Virginia’s veterans might look for a little payback, the younger players might side with Groh, and simply look for the win.

“We can’t change the results of last year,” Virginia coach Al Groh said. “But what we can do is create the results of this year.”

If a drive to avenge last year’s score helps this year’s team, Groh will take it.

“People say ‘you’re in a three-game stretch of non-conference games,’” Groh said. “We got a one-game stretch with Pittsburgh. That’s all we got. If you ask me what time the game the week after that is, I’d be guessing or I’d be lying.”

When analyzing the work that needs to be done this week, Groh focused on the tough defense Pittsburgh imposes.

“They don’t give anything easy,” Groh said. “They don’t give up long drives and they don’t give up long plays. Pretty good formula.”

So, the Cavaliers will need to win the special-teams battle to gain good field position, like they were able to against Georgia Tech.

The Panthers allowed 34 points last week in their loss to Connecticut, throwing four interceptions and fumbling the ball twice. In addition to special teams, Virginia will need to create takeaways on defense to set up short scores and quick points.

Groh doesn’t care if Virginia looks better on paper than Pittsburgh — Virginia commits fewer turnovers and doesn’t give up as many points. None of that guarantees victory. Groh was quick to cite Appalachian State’s upset of Michigan and subsequent fall to Wofford.

“Some teams that have size and speed and experience, don’t have that feeling that they’ve got to prove themselves every week,” Groh said. “And some teams do, and it magnifies the level of execution they can get relative to what the physical skills might indicate.”

You’ve seen it in pink writing on a purple background in alternating capital and lowercase letters in an AIM profile. Maybe you’ve even seen it as the title of a Facebook photo album, followed by several exclamation marks. No matter what color it was written in, it probably made you feel all pink and purple inside. This college mantra goes as follows: “The nights you’ll never remember … with the people you’ll never forget.”

I know we’re all Spartan academic athletes here, fighting neck-and-neck for the scholastic spotlight, so this little swing at sentimentality may seem like a breath of fresh air — there may actually be an opportunity for canine camaraderie in the dog-eat-dog world of college! But really, as the nation’s future, is that the best we can do?

While the phrase is a perfect paradox, most likely formed by some bookish English major who had never lived out its true meaning, it is a flawed view of “how college should be.” It calls for basing friendships around raging alcoholism and blackout drunkenness.

First of all, regarding the “nights you’ll never remember,” I can’t say much, because I don’t remember them. What I do know, however, is that if you don’t remember a night, chances are something bad happened. You will probably find out later that you ran into that girl from your weekly discussion and let her know that you were just baffled by how ugly she is. Even if you ended this interaction with “Not that it’s a bad thing…,” it won’t change the fact that you are now that kid with the black eye and broken nose from weekly discussion.

Also, doesn’t the word “memories” have the same word-origin as “remember?” Shouldn’t memories be of times we always remember? Without mental storage of our good times, all we have as proof of our nights out are pictures. Several questions stem from these photographs, like “Who was that enormously tall 40-year-old bearded man I have my arm around?” or “How did we ever end up at Waffle House?” Life really just becomes a game of Clue, discerned from bits and pieces of poor photography. Your broken foot, if I examine the photos long enough, came from Your Roommate, with the Frying Pan, in the Kitchen. I’m not really sure why, though.

As for the friends you’ll “never forget,” what depth do they really have? Are they anything more than drinking buddies? Wasted is an adjective without a face. And honestly, who isn’t your friend when you’re happy in the haze of a drunken hour? Except, of course, your enemies — who you may or may not punch in the face. Don’t your boring, inebriated friends just glow in comparison?

I’m sure one place we’ll never see this phrase, no matter how catchy it may be, is on the Stall Seat Journal. Corny as it may sound, every time I puked my brains out in my first-year dorm, that little Plexiglas-covered sheet tutored me with nuggets of reassuring knowledge. It taught me the true meaning of friendship — 25 percent of the time, 60 percent of some friends help out their insanely drunk friends. Calculating that 50 percent of my friends were drunker than me 80 percent of the time, I figured I was in safe-enough hands.

Now, by no means am I calling for students to give their Saturday nights wholesome “Boy Meets World”-makeovers. I’m sure we would all love to spend our afternoons tutoring Honduran orphans, then pick up the gang in our minivan and drive over to the church Bingo function. But I think we volunteer enough at Madison House during the week to get some extra credit with the big guy upstairs — at least enough to earn a spot on the waitlist to heaven.

It’s okay to go out Saturday, maybe even to a frat party. You can throw some beers back with your best buds and get a little silly. You could even try dancing a little bit — though that’s probably something you would rather have no one remember. After it’s over, you can discuss all the hilarious interactions you had with belligerent drunks, and while it’s happening, you can laugh in their faces. As much as I mocked its ridiculous “Hoo Knew” facts and overwrought cheeriness, the Stall Seat Journal once published a three-word header I find to be a much better phrase to sum up how to live a good college life: Everything in Moderation.

Marissa’s column runs biweekly Fridays. She can be reached at dorazio@cavalierdaily.com

OK, how cool would it be if this were actually a class? Much more useful than making English majors take science courses. There are those who pride themselves on their awkwardness and even put on airs about how awkward they think they are, which I guess is better than wallowing under the covers listening to Celine Dion all day. But think how put-together and confident we could be if we only had a lesson in Awkward Moments 101.

As a fourth-year, I consider myself a connoisseur of the awkward, not because I have dabbled in various embarrassing, compromising situations, but because for more than three years I have been hearing about them from my incredibly awkward friends, who are lucky a person as suave as me still rolls with them. With that said, I present to you my suggestions for navigating seven awkward situations.

Awkward Situation #1: Run-in with the awkward hookup

I wouldn’t know, of course, but for all you playas, I’m sure you’re all too familiar with the inner dialogue you hear when confronted with the approaching Awkward either looking fly strutting through the Colonnades or acting embarrassingly lame reading in Clemons. The thought process tends to go as follows: “Oh my god, should I make eye contact? Oh crap, I just did. Should I smile? Actually say ‘hi?’ Should I blink confusedly and veer to the side into oncoming, unforgiving people-traffic? Should I grab my phone in desperation and pretend to text friends I don’t have in one slick motion?” So many questions, yet so little time to react. My advice: Smile confidently, even if you feel really sketchy and on the spot. If nothing else, at least you’ll look friendly.

Awkward Situation #2: Getting called on in class when you haven’t done the reading

…and have no clue what page everyone else is on because you’ve been simultaneously replaying the awkward hookup run-in in your mind and secretly hating that kid who won’t shut up. This may not always work, but you could try suavely changing the subject and rack your brain for something important to add — maybe a reference from a previous class you’ve taken that will make you sound really worldly and advanced.

Awkward Situation #3: Having the DTR talk

Or, if I have to spell it out, the “defining-the-relationship” talk. There’s a little too much potential for uncomfortably long pauses and over-eagerly expressed emotions. You don’t want to be the needy, lame one who has feelings. Ew, feelings. My personal motto when it comes to relationships is “College — no feelings!” So maybe my advice won’t work for Situation #3. But I think honesty is the best policy as long as you don’t get overemotional and cry or anything. How embarrassing.

Awkward Situation #4: Not being 21

Face it young’uns: In terms of partying, your social life is not as cool as ours. Whether it’s getting hardcore rejected in front of everyone at bars, begging and pleading with your older friends to provide for you or stressing about the law, not being legal is hard times. I don’t really have much advice for you other than to wait it out. Being 21 is really cool even though you still get asked for 2 forms of ID a lot and sometimes distant family members ask if you’re 15. No big deal though.

Awkward Situation #5: The job interview

This is because it’s difficult to sound important and useful with a liberal arts degree. You can be the biggest smarty-pants history major, but when you’re dipping your toes into the freezing-cold pool of the real world, it’s important to make sure that you know what you’re good at before you go into to the big scary interview office. And that your resume looks really pretty.

Awkward Situation #6: Starting a conversation with “So I saw on Facebook…”

Just don’t do it. Even if you spend 3 hours on Facebook a day, just pretend you don’t. An uncomfortable pause will surely follow, and no, the solution is not to join one of those “I’m so awkward and it’s awesome” groups.

Awkward Situation #7: Acknowledging TAs in a non-University setting

Especially when you’re on a date. It’s great to go on dates in non-Corner locales because there are so many delicious and baller Charlottesville restaurants (the dumpling place, anyone?), yet it’s also deadly because you will run into former TAs. They haunt the Downtown Mall (and Alderman Library) and spread awkwardness like it’s their job.

One could argue that feeling awkward is self-induced, and as long as you don’t take yourself seriously, no big deal. But who are we kidding? We’re college students. We’re the most self-absorbed people we’ve ever met. So go on and feel a little awkward. Maybe it will be a beneficial learning experience. And I can say that because I’m super-suave. And 21.

Mary’s column runs biweekly Fridays. She can be reached at mbaroch@cavalierdaily.com

Amid a pan of frosting, plastic spoons and rolls of paper towels lay an open magazine illustrating various styles of piping. Third-year College student Jessica Mathre, vice president of the Baking and Pastry Arts Association, thumbed through the pages, pausing to reflect upon the images before her.

“If we start with shells, we can do stars and shells; that way, we don’t have to change tips as much,” Mathre said to her assistant — who also happens to be her mother — who nodded in agreement while holding up a pipe and examining the tip. Meanwhile, President Nicole Oandasan, a fourth-year College student led students past tables laden with piping material into the lobby to check off names.

The first and only mandatory meeting of the BPAA had officially begun. Students clambered into their seats as Mathre detailed safety and sanitation precautions before moving on to the basic skill of piping. At later meetings, club members will learn more sophisticated culinary arts, such as how to prepare bread, desserts, chocolate and other pastry forms.

“I think [the BPAA is] so original,” second-year College student Fran Holuba said. “There hasn’t been any group like this where you can learn how to do things like make icing for a cake — when will you ever do this in another class? You make birthday cakes all the time for your friends, but why not make them with cool designs?”

The BPAA established its presence on Grounds at the end of the 2007 spring term, after Oandasan and Mathre were unable to find a club where they could pursue and expand their culinary interests.

“I think it’s a good idea to have a baking and pastry arts club on Grounds because a lot of people don’t have kitchens,” Oandasan said. “We also do the art aspect of baking and plating because it’s not just how it tastes — it’s how it looks, too.”

As the BPAA did not become active until this semester, it did not receive enough funding for all the materials necessary to make its planned agenda of sweets and baked goods. Members were thus required to pay $40 in annual dues before attending the first meeting or could choose to pay per event. After Newcomb Dining Hall agreed to sponsor the club, providing needed space, basic ingredients and other cooking necessities, the majority of funds collected were used to purchase each member a reusable kit including piping bags, a variety of tips, rose nails and other materials.

“We wanted people to see what they’re paying for so they can take the supplies and practice at home,” Oandasan said, noting that the organization’s members come from a diverse background of previous cooking experience. “No experience is required — we learn together.”

Indeed, Oandasan spent the evening at work with other club members — her own kit in tow — while Mathre performed demos before the students. Mathre, deemed the “pastry chef,” attended the California Culinary Academy in San Francisco, completing the baking and pastry arts program.

The size of the BPAA is limited to 25 students, which allows for “more demonstration and less assembly,” according to Mathre. During the instruction, Mathre and her mother gave personal attention to every member, demonstrating particular skills they wanted to underscore.

“I like having a small class because you get to do more hands-on activities,” Holuba said. “You can’t learn from a recipe book until you try; it’s better to be watching someone doing it and trying it.”

When she wasn’t watching Mathre explain the technique of piping a sugary star or producing one of her own, Holuba jotted down notes and diagrams in rapt attention.

Though the first meeting of the BPAA was held in the kitchen of Shea House, future meetings will be held in the kitchens of Newcomb, depending on how many people attend and what the group will be making that week. Meetings will be held once or twice a month.

In addition to in-class instruction, the BPAA has arranged field trips to local bakeries as well as presentations by guest speakers, who will discuss and demonstrate cake decorating and other skills. The officers also plan to hold cake decorating and Iron Chef-style competitions on the Lawn every semester or annually. The possibilities of future joint events with other organizations and live demonstrations with samples for diners at Newcomb have also been discussed as a chance to promote the BPAA in the community, Oandasan said.

Until then, though, these future Iron Chefs will continue to develop and perfect their culinary techniques under the guidance of pastry chef Mathre and the BPAA.

TUCKED away behind the mountains, cut off from the outside world save for a narrow pass and gravel-strewn road, a dictator rules his people with a steely resolve and terrifying power. His domain is not much to look at — a desolate and windswept plain where grass has long since disappeared under trampling hooves and human ignorance — but his authority is unquestioned and absolute. He answers to no one, and the rest of society, prevented by a vast and deep gorge from challenging his will, silently waits for his world to crumble from within.

This isn’t the story of some Afghan warlord. It is a story rooted in America, borne by fanaticism and tempered in injustice. Its participants profess that theirs is the only true God and the local despot is His prophet on Earth. Welcome to the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (FLDS) and its polygamist haven, Colorado City, Arizona.

That all was true until a year ago, when Mormon FLDS leader Warren Jeffs was captured near Las Vegas as an FBI Ten Most Wanted fugitive. Charged with unlawful flight, sexual conduct with a minor and as an accomplice to rape, on Tuesday he was found guilty and now faces possible life imprisonment. But why did it take so long to go after this guy? At all levels, the lack of concern for those Jeffs held captive is contemptible.

Colorado City is home base for the FLDS cult, the largest and most fanatical of several polygamist sects that splintered off the Mormon Church after it banned the practice in 1890. Almost entirely isolated from the rest of Arizona by the Grand Canyon, it is a lawless town. Until Jeffs’s capture, the Church owned almost all property there — a situation that prevented dissidents from speaking up for fear of losing their homes. Some estimates placed the value of these holdings at over $100 million.

Jeffs, who himself is claimed to have seventy wives, personally arranged marriages between all residents, dispensing girls as young as 13 to men in their eighties. As punishment, wives were often “re-assigned” to other men, many of whom have ten wives or more and children by all of them. And to keep the male-to-female ratio down to a level suitable for plural marriages, he frequently expelled large numbers of men from his community, none of whom knew anything about the outside world — television is banned and books censored in Colorado City, if they are allowed at all.

But they were the lucky ones, really. Meanwhile, their female counterparts were raped and beaten with nowhere to turn for support — the police and courts, too, obeyed Jeffs’s tyrannical rule. And because FLDS men legally married only their first wife, additional wives who had children qualified under tax loopholes as single mothers and received over $6 million a year in federal welfare — not a penny of which served its intended purpose.

Polygamy and Colorado City’s small population have, predictably, ensured a bad gene pool. The girl who finally came forth and accused Jeffs of misdoings, precipitating his whole arrest and trial, was forced into a marriage at 14 with her first cousin. Such pairings are not uncommon. Because of this inbreeding, children there now have the world’s highest rate of fumarase deficiency, which causes severe mental retardation. The gene has been traced back to one of the wives of founder Joseph Jessup, to whom 80 percent of the town is related, and has plagued families ever since.

Today, Warren Jeffs sits in jail, but his community remains clouded in misery and oppression. His conviction is a step in the right direction, but more must be done, whether it’s freezing FLDS assets or sending in the National Guard. The power vacuum won’t last very long. Just as Jeffs succeeded his father Rulon, someone wil succeed him.

Meanwhile, citizens of Colorado City receive nearly eight times the amount of federal aid as the average Arizonian. Just outside of town, a new airport serves FLDS elders on official Church business, courtesy of $2.8 million from the federal government. Another $1.1 million went to road and utility upgrades. But these measures are not the right ones. What really needs doing isn’t being done. The government’s inaction is stupefying considering the amount of suffering and abuse and terror the FLDS has wrought. These people have a right to be protected from themselves — that is, the psychological disorder that is their so-called “faith,” professing their devotion to Jeffs and his cult, knowing nothing of the free America and basic dignity of human life.

For mainstream Mormonism, whose diaspora led the hardworking and pious to the shores of Salt Lake and whose tenacity weathered the desert and gave rise to Utah, the black mark of the FLDS is especially discouraging. It is a bitter irony that the polygamist fundamentalists who so despise the Church for going astray are themselves the ones who have fallen by the wayside.

In a fanatical cult like the FLDS in Colorado City, where saintliness is as absent as the grass is on the plains,, one truly hopes they are indeed nearing their latter days.

Alex Lane is a Cavalier Daily viewpoint writer. He is a first-year student.

THE AQUATIC and Fitness Center is great. It’s big, spacious, and it has a wide range of exercise options throughout the complex that appeal to the gym’s equally wide range of patrons. Despite these excellent attributes, however, the music selection at the AFC is awful. As it stands, talk radio is about as well-suited to the gym experience as most of the music that currently permeates the weight room. Utter silence would be preferable to the current array of pop horror that one is forced to listen to for the duration of his or her gym experience.

Before you get indignant, hear me out. I’m not saying music has no place in a gym. Music has significant motivational impact on physical exercise, just not the music you’ll hear at the AFC. For those of you who frequent the gym and are not lucky enough to have an iPod to drown out “Big Girls Don’t Cry” by Fergie as it washes over the workout area, this issue is poignant. It’s not an issue of music in the gym, but rather the specific arsenal of songs that are played to the point of absurdity, with which I have a problem, and I can’t be the only one.

Walk into the AFC and wander around for ten minutes. You will hear “Hey There Delilah” at least once during your stay. I have personally been subjected to that particular gem at least twice every time I’m there. Every time the song comes on I get closer and closer to just dropping a weight on my head in hopes of knocking myself out and escaping the duration of Plain White T’s despair that is to follow.

Though it would be fun to throw blame around, the employees of the AFC are not as responsible as one might assume for the menagerie of TRL’s latest that springs forth from the speakers. Actually, as it turns out, they probably suffer the most out of all of us at the hands of this horrible music. “The song I hear most is whatever is hot right now,” AFC employee Jessica Wignall says, citing both “Delilah” and “Big Girls Don’t Cry” as two of the most repeated songs in the lineup. Unfortunately for AFC employees and the rest of us, Wignall and the rest of the AFC employees are at a loss for options. Despite the obvious unpleasant effects of hearing any Nickleback song more than once a lifetime, the music comes from an XM radio subscription on which all stations with any obscene content are blocked, leaving a scarce selection of music to choose from. “We basically flip between a handful of channels – 90s on 9, XM Hitlist, The Blend, KISS FM – for example,” Wignall explained. Due to these restrictions, one has the dubious privilege of hearing songs that are inevitably slated to join the canon of one-hit wonders that populate VH1′s “101 Worst of All Time” list in just a short time spent at the gym.

I’m sure some of you like the music mentioned above, and for that, I’m sorry. That being said, even fans of this music would have a hard time maintaining that the theme song of The Hills has any place in a weight room. It’s hard to distinguish why Pink’s “U+Ur Hand” is deemed appropriate while the mainstream rap and rock popular amongst students is banned; obscenity is expressed in both cases, but because the latter has outright curse words it gets the axe. We’re all adults, and we’ve all heard music with swear words in it; I don’t think it would be all that earth-shattering to let some of that music slip into the rotation every now and again.

At some point, the music issue has to be addressed. The restrictions in place are such that only a handful of the worst and most benign of songs makes it to the speakers, so just cut the music. Most everybody has an iPod (or a CD player, or a cassette deck, or an AM/FM radio) and a set of headphones; let individuals choose what they care to listen to, and allow silence for the rest of us who don’t want to bring music for ourselves. Imagine spending an hour in the gym without the threat of Maroon Five’s latest atrocity looming on the XM horizon. That right there is an AFC I would support.

David Infante is a Cavalier Daily Viewpoint Writer.