Things are looking pretty bleak. The optimism about a new semester has been destroyed by the painful reality of homework and assigned reading. Unsuccessful job fairs and an unimproving economy have broken the spirits of otherwise hardy and well adjusted fourth-years. It is really, really cold outside. Students need something to look forward to. Luckily, most television shows are returning from hiatus just in time. Lost and Battlestar Galactica are already back and screwing with minds, but there is another crop of shows ready and waiting to eat up more of the time you should be using to prepare for your future.

Some of the most highly anticipated midseason premieres come from the most celebrated minds in the TV industry. The creator of NBC’s The Office, Greg Daniels, and one of the show’s writers, Michael Schur, have developed another half-hour mockumentary sitcom for the network, but it’s not a spin-off of the successful Steve Carell series. Parks and Recreation was created as a vehicle for comedy goddess Amy Poehler (Saturday Night Live) and also stars Rashida Jones (The Office) and Aziz Ansari (Scrubs). The comedy about the cutthroat world of small town politics will debut April 9.

ABC will premiere a series March 24 much less realistic but possibly more familiar, depending on how much TV your parents let you watch 10 years ago. In 1998, Cupid, starring Jeremy Piven (Entourage) and Paula Marshall (Gary Unmarried), ran for 15 episodes before it was cancelled. Now the show’s creator, Rob Thomas, the mastermind behind the dearly departed Veronica Mars, has been given a do-over. The series, this time starring Bobby Cannavale (Will & Grace) and Sarah Paulson (Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip), follows a man (Cannavale) who may or may not be the Roman god Cupid as he tries to unite 100 couples with the help of a psychiatrist (Paulson).

While Cupid lightly touches on the sci-fi/fantasy genre, Joss Whedon’s new show, Dollhouse, is firmly planted within it. The evil genius responsible for Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the web musical Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog has finally returned to TV after an absence of five years. Now the notorious writer is back with a new series on FOX, the same dastardly network that cancelled Firefly in 2003 and brought about the long, dark, Whedon-less period. The series follows Echo (Eliza Dushku), a woman whose mind is regularly erased and refilled with a completely different persona to complete a variety of missions for clients. She lives with other “dolls” in a “dollhouse” (get it?) without any memory of these missions, though she is slowly becoming self-aware. Dollhouse has already dealt with rewrites, reshoots and speculation that the show may be on its way out before it has even aired. The series premieres Feb. 13.

While Parks and Recreation, Cupid and Dollhouse may be receiving the most press coverage, they are not the only intriguing shows the networks are preparing to premiere. The NBC series, Kings, a modern day retelling of the biblical story of King David, starring Ian McShane (Deadwood) and Christopher Egan (Vanished), debuts March 19. The station will then become even more distracting when University alum Benjamin McKenzie (The O.C.) returns to TV April 9 as a rookie L.A. cop in the drama Southland.

It is true that most of these shows will not air for at least another month, but it’s good to have time to prepare. Go ahead and quit any and all extracurricular activities that may interfere with the premiere dates now. Cultural currency is just as important as résumé padding.

If you talk to your parents about the kind of music they listened to back in the mid-1970s and throughout the 1980s, Bruce Springsteen most likely will come up during the course of conversation. His heartfelt, personal songs about American life and his unbeatable live shows have made him a true blue, American rock ‘n’ roll legend. Springsteen, also known as The Boss, and the E Street Band have been touring and making records for decades, with many rock music experts considering Springsteen’s 1975 album, Born to Run, one of the single greatest records ever produced. The Boss recently put out his 16th studio album, Working on a Dream.

Working on a Dream sounds cheerier than Bruce Springsteen’s last album, 2007’s Magic. On that record, much of the lyrical content revolved around the mistakes and follies of the Bush administration and dwells on the negativities. Working on a Dream, on the other hand, sounds much more upbeat and positive, like much of his older material.

Much of Working on a Dream was written while The Boss was on tour for his previous album. Whenever Springsteen was not on stage, he and the rest of his band were recording or writing for Working on a Dream. He debuted the title track of the album at a campaign rally for President Barack Obama. The album also features contributions from the E Street Band’s late keyboardist Danny Federici, who died in April 2008.

The first song off the album, “Outlaw Pete”, is a sprawling epic that is surprisingly long for a Springsteen song, clocking in at eight minutes. The Boss manages to keep the song going without losing any thunder by telling the story of the title character. “Outlaw Pete” is definitely one of the more adventurous songs Springsteen has done in quite some time.

“My Lucky Day”, the second single from the album, is a classic E Street Band song, with a driving beat and an incredibly easy-to-sing chorus. If there is any song that defines the sound of Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band on Working on a Dream, it is “My Lucky Day.”

The last track on the album, “The Wrestler”, stands as the most well-known track on the album thus far. Mickey Rourke, star of the film The Wrestler, personally requested that Springsteen write a song for his recently released movie. “The Wrestler” was the end result. The song, like the movie, is a cry of pain from a broken, burned-out soul. The Boss drives metaphors through lyrics like, “These things that have comforted me I drive away / This place that is my home I cannot stay / My only faith’s in the broken bones and bruises I display.” The song went on to win the Golden Globe award for Best Original Song, but was surprisingly snubbed in the nominations for Best Original Song at the Academy Awards.

The Boss is keeping himself busy as of late. Along with his Golden Globe win, he performed at the Super Bowl halftime show Sunday. The next day, tickets went on sale for Bruce Springsteen’s May 5 visit to John Paul Jones Arena; if you can afford to go to this show, I highly recommend it.

Working on a Dream is the best album Bruce Springsteen has made since 1984’s Born in the USA. Though we are only through one month of 2009, this album may stand 11 months down the road as the best release of the year. 3

Forrest Gander, acknowledged by former U.S. Poet Laureate Robert Hass as “a southern poet of a relatively rare kind, a restlessly experimental writer,” recently released his first novel, As a Friend, a brief volume divided into four parts.

Set in a small, unnamed southern town, the novel’s main character is Les, an elusive protagonist who manages to charm everyone around him, from his lovers to his coworkers. Les’ life is shrouded in mystery, partially because no one in the small town really knows where he came from and also because of his compulsive lying habit. Les “took lying to be creative,” and seems to be unable to tell the truth about anything, from small fibs — such as what time he’ll meet up with a coworker — to larger lies — such as marrying one woman, Cora, and living with another, Sarah. Apparent contradictions similarly surround Les’ life. Although he works as a land surveyor, Les is also a poet and is famous enough to have a documentary made after him. He is good looking and extremely intelligent, yet is living in a nowhere town working for minimum pay.

The first part of the novel depicts Les’ birth. His mother, an unwed teenager, immediately gives him up for adoption after birth. The birth scene is graphic, sometimes a bit too much so, yet contains such strangely vivid descriptions that the reader is immediately drawn into the story. Gander uses phrases such as “knuckles wedged between the hot sheet and the flesh that heats it” to describe the mother’s physical pain. The emotion and the violence that surrounds Les’ birth precede the emotion and violence that permeate his life, and set up the moody, descriptive tone of the novel.

The second part is narrated by Clay, Les’ coworker and friend. Clay cannot help but admire Les, and has confusing romantic feelings for him that he never comes to terms with. As his name suggests, Clay attempts to mold himself after his suave friend, yet cannot live up to Les’ standards. When Les speaks, Clay cannot follow his imaginative ideas. When Les and Clay backpack through the forest, Clay struggles through the underbrush while Les strides with ease. Clay, who struggles with his mixed feelings of inadequacy and admiration toward Les, eventually calls Cora, Les’ wife, and tells her that he is cheating on her, which releases a chain of events that eventually leads to Les’ suicide.

Les is based on Frank Stanford, a real life poet who also is surrounded by elusive mythology. As a Friend can be read as a biography of Stanford’s life, with direct parallels between the two lying characters’ lives: both worked as land surveyors, both were involved in affairs and both committed suicide after their affairs were discovered.

As a Friend’s ambitiousness lies in Les’ character. To create such a deeply conflicted, contradictory persona takes more than just good writing. Part of Gander’s success lies in the southern landscape and atmosphere he creates. Gander, who grew up in Virginia and graduated from the College of William & Mary, very often uses Virginia landscapes to create his southern milieu, although he infuses his descriptions with a beauty that almost seems unrealistic. This is fitting, however, because the mythological and beautiful world is necessary for the unrealistic character of Les to flourish.

As a Friend is a book about emotion. After Les’ death, the novel is narrated from the point of view of his grieving lover, Sarah. She explains, “Love solves nothing, but your love made me appear to myself.” Likewise, this book offers no solutions or explanations for the cruelty that surrounds friendship and love. But for a few brief pages, the reader is asked to mull over the true meaning of friendship, and how we can see humanity within even the most flawed characters

Hello, fellow tableau reader. You probably don’t know me, but my name is Ethan Hamlin and for the last year I’ve served as one of tableau’s editors. It’s been an amazing experience, and I’m very proud of the output that our section had during the past year. Unfortunately, the adage that all good things come to an end holds true. This year, I hang my hat and let a new generation of editors take my place. In light of this transition, I’d like to give deep and sincere thanks to the people who helped make tableau possible every week!

First, I’d like to give thanks to The Cavalier Daily staff — especially the assistant managing editor and production sections that we worked so closely with. In particular, I’d like to thank Stephen Belyea for designing our page (it looked great every week), Kristin Hawkins for keeping us on track (because our section often needed it) and Cait Speaker and Conor Wakeman for keeping our stories coherent and readable.

I’d also like to give a big thanks to our associate editors. Even though she was only with us for a semester, we could always count on Anne Larimer Hart to help with tableau’s little responsibilities. Dave Replogle also has been a great help, offering valuable input and covering for us when Anne had to leave the section. We all hope that he’ll get involved in tableau again after he returns from studying abroad in Spain! Finally, thanks to Sarah Sherman, our senior associate editor who designed the calendar every week. Even with her busy graduate schedule, she always found time for her Cavalier Daily responsibilities.

A special thanks goes out to my fellow editor Stephanie Garcia, who’s done just as much — if not more — than me to put together this section. Fortunately for you readers, she’ll be staying on for another term. I’m sure we’ll see the section grow even more with her leadership!

Lastly but most importantly, I’d like to thank all the writers who continued to submit great stories week after week. You all are the foundation of this section, and we’ve loved reading each and every one of your stories.

I’ll continue checking up on tableau even after I’ve graduated and I hope to see the section grow even more with new leadership. Expect great things from your new associates — Scott Geftman, Rachel Lim and senior associate Rob Molster — and my replacement editor, Campbell Bird. Each of these individuals has proven him or herself a capable and motivated contributor to tableau, and I wish them all a great term!

Chrono Trigger is widely regarded as one of the best games of all time, and now, nearly 14 years after its original release on the Super Nintendo, it is now available for the Nintendo DS. The new game has portability, a fresh script and some extras, but it is still the same masterpiece it was during the early 1990s.

Time travel is at the core of Chrono Trigger’s plot. Three children from the year 1000 named Crono, Marle and Lucca discover that a cataclysm will occur in 1999, transforming the planet into a bleak version of its former prosperity. These three youths travel through the ages and recruit comrades from different time periods to find the origin of the 1999 catastrophe and prevent it from occurring. Eventually, your team includes a prehistoric cave girl, a medieval knight cursed to a froggy form and a heavily-armed robot.

Chrono Trigger’s basic gameplay elements boil down to those of a typical role playing game — you control a team of heroes, traveling across world maps and through dungeons and occasionally pausing to engage in combat with enemies. Chrono Trigger sets itself apart from similar games with its colorful, varied environments and lack of battle cut scenes that would otherwise break the game’s flow. Combat does not begin at random intervals as it does for many RPGs; Chrono Trigger positions foes at specific points, making many fights avoidable or at least sensible. Managing characters’ equipment and techniques is all done with clean interfaces that are easily understood and accessible.

This combination of an engaging storyline, appealing characters and streamlined gameplay made Chrono Trigger a favorite of many SNES owners in the 1990s. While in production, Japanese gaming giant Square Co. referred to Chrono Trigger as “The Dream Project.” The Chrono Trigger team was a coalition between the writer and artist of rival company Enix’s popular Dragon Quest video game series and several veterans of Square’s own Final Fantasy series. In this respect, Chrono Trigger could be considered the first Square-Enix game, despite its release eight years prior to the merger of the two companies. The new DS version of the game has succeeded both critically and financially in large part because of the nostalgia shared by Chrono Trigger’s large fan base. An earlier port of CT for the Sony PlayStation was criticized for long load times and a lack of worthwhile changes. Chrono Trigger DS has no noticeable load times and adds some new bonus material to the main game — an arena for training monsters Pokémon-style, plus a few extra dungeons that yield useful new equipment. The DS port also completely retranslates Chrono Trigger’s English script. A new secret ending also adds plot information that helps tie the events of Chrono Trigger to its 2000 PlayStation sequel Chrono Cross.

The new material in Chrono Trigger DS, while entertaining, is an afterthought. The real draw is the original game itself — not its new dialogue or extra features. If you want to experience or re-experience one of the greatest RPGs ever made, here’s your chance. 3

Is anyone looking for the soundtrack to a night out in London? A concept album of sorts, Franz Ferdinand’s Tonight takes the listener through the chronicles of one wild night and the morning after, punctuated by song titles like “Turn It On,” “Twilight Omens,” “What She Came For” and “Lucid Dreams”. The music doesn’t stop roaring until the final two songs, and by that point, you will want to go back to track one, ready to relive Tonight all over again.

Listeners are first lured in with “Ulysses,” a lesson in old school Franz in the way it builds through time and exposes more layers with more listens. It is almost a red herring, as the rest of the album carries a big electronic torch. That is not to say the band has abandoned its classic big bass lines in favor of a reinvention, but this album is different enough to mark a change in sound. Never fear though; by the time the second track, “Turn It On” — with its shout-inspired vocals and seductive bellows of “yeah, yeah, yeah!” — is over, you will be more than happy to join the party and eager to see where it goes.

The next stop, “No You Girls,” is the standout track closest to being a full-blown anthem. Lead singer Alex Kapranos drives the song with his trademark ice-cool vocals across a huge landscape of clapping beats, heavy percussion — some of which is provided by a skeleton (you will know when you hear it) — and a big, repetitive chorus that goes, “No you girls never know how you make a boy feel!”. Only those who lack any sense of rhythm will be able to fight off the sheer power of Kapranos’ calls to the dance floor. The song also contains a clever lyrical twist at the end, a recurring theme throughout the entire album.

It is not just the music that makes this album pretty spectacular, but also the attitude that is conveyed. During the course of Tonight, relationships are made and broken, and you never know where the lyrical observations are coming from. On “What She Came For”, a decisive fly-on-the-wall approach is taken as Kapranos sings, “Whoah! Look out / You’re what she came for!” as the song delves into a huge instrumental breakdown at the end. Yet, on the 1980s-sounding, “Live Alone”, the band makes sure to add a personal touch with lyrics like, “Want to stay in love with you / So I’m going to live alone / Yeah I’ll be happy on my own.”

Franz Ferdinand has always been able to throw a few twists and turns our way — anyone who’s ever listened to the debut single, “Take Me Out,” knows that — and that contorted pattern is maintained in this album as well. Entirely produced by Dan Carey, who’s helmed music by British pop sprite Lily Allen and Australia’s Kylie Minogue, the album is cohesive from start to finish. Carey’s greatest imprint by far is the seven-minute electronic extravaganza, “Lucid Dreams.” At about the five-minute mark, the song almost delves into an all-out rave, but it is controlled enough to not feel scattered and lost. It is a real producer’s song and also marks a transition for the album, signifying the transformation of night into the morning after.

The two closing songs of the album play with this new feeling. First up is “Dream Again”, which retains the album’s synthesized sound though it is on the mid-tempo side of things. Kapranos’ light vocals declare, “I live to dream again.” Well, that’s a relief — everyone survived the night before. The closer, “Katherine Kiss Me,” meanwhile, is an acoustic, intelligent and witty sequel to “No You Girls,” as Kapranos plays on the chorus, singing, “I never wonder, how the girl feels.”

How you’ll feel when the song ends is like you just experienced an awesome soundtrack to a night out in London — and are ready for another go, er, listen. 3

While University students studying spoken languages have the opportunity to strengthen their fluency through study abroad programs, students learning American Sign Language do not have such options.

Instead, ASL students at the University have the opportunity to develop their skills through signing lunches that are held at the Pavilion in Newcomb Hall every Friday. The lunches are organized by Deafness Education and Awareness for All Students, a contracted independent organization on Grounds.

The signing lunches are completely silent and the only language allowed is ASL. The lunches are informal and allow students of all ASL levels to interact with one another, said Alissa Gador, DEAFS secretary and third-year College student.

ASL Lecturer Gregory Propp stated in an e-mail that the signing lunches “are a great opportunity for students taking American Sign Language at U.Va. to painlessly reinforce what they are learning in the classroom by meeting and practicing their signing skills with their classmates.”

Those in attendance at the lunch include ASL students, ASL professors, deaf University students, CODAS — children of deaf adults who know ASL — and deaf members of the Charlottesville community. Usually, 15 to 20 people in addition to the professors attend the lunch.
Although most students attending the lunches have some connection to either ASL or deaf culture, all students and friends are welcome, even if they do not know a single sign.

Most of the ASL students are second-year students or older because many of the beginning students are not confident enough in their signing abilities to come, Gador noted. Often, they do not believe they can hold a conversation in sign language for an hour.

First-year College student Kirsten Arritt goes to the lunches every Friday to improve her signing skills.  

“Three days a week for only 50 minutes [in class] is hardly enough to get my hands in shape,” Arritt said. “It is so easy to forget handshapes or just what that sign means.”

The Friday lunches allow Arritt to reinforce the signs she learns in the classroom.

Having both beginning and advanced language students attend the lunches allows the more fluent students to help those just beginning.
“Often, I find myself at a loss for how to express myself with signs, but everyone is willing to introduce new signs or even try and understand my charades,” Arritt said.

Propp considers the signing lunches an invaluable tool for ASL students to either maintain a high average or improve their grade in the class. Propp recalls one student who improved her quiz average by 15 points, mostly as a result of attending each signing lunch. He also noted that the lunches can be a great way to find ASL tutors.

Gador said she believes her signing ability improved “100 percent” by attending the lunches and said the lunches especially helped her with facial expressions and eye contact.

“All of sign language grammar is on the face,” Gador said, explaining that the expressions of the eyebrows and eyes can be “a struggle for incoming students” who already find it hard expressing themselves in spoken language.

In sign language, it is also rude to break eye contact with the person to whom you are speaking. This can be difficult for students who frequently text and e-mail while having conversations, Gador said.

Along with increasing student knowledge about ASL, the lunches also teach students about deaf culture and the deaf community.

In the deaf culture, people always introduce themselves and are very open about the details of their lives, Gador explained. Introductions include more than just a name, often incorporating a description of oneself, she added.

Arritt said the openness of deaf culture is amazing, and the students and professors model this same ideal at the lunches.

The deaf culture also sees itself as having a single identity, Gador said, nothing that while the hearing community is often autonomous, she noted, deaf culture strives for achievement as a group, not of as an individual, because deaf culture wants to help spread success across the greater community.

By bringing deaf people from the University and community to the lunches, students are exposed to the diversity of the deaf. Last Friday, for instance, some teachers and students from the Charlottesville school system’s Deaf and Hard of Hearing program visited. Students at the lunches also see first hand the self-sufficiency of the deaf community. Gador stated that “sign language students don’t take [ASL] as a charity case. They take it to learn another culture.”

Not only do the signing lunches help current ASL students, but they also help bring more students into the ASL department. Propp said the lunches give more exposure to the ASL program, because many students see how much their peers enjoy the lunches and decide to become a part of the University’s ASL program.

While the lunches mostly help current University students, they also help the University attract high school students. The signing lunches have attracted the attention of many prospective students, Propp said.

Additionally, the signing lunches allow University students to form stronger relationships with their professors while meeting new people they would not have otherwise known. Arritt found her future roommate, first-year College student Beth Gurney, through the lunches.

Gador said the signing lunches are “just like having lunch with a bunch of friends,” only without speaking.

Students such as Gador reap the rewards of such an experience.

“Now that [ASL is] a part of my life, I can’t leave it,” she said.

Who knew that finding a place to live would be so difficult? My latest adventure, if you can call it that, has been the search for housing. One would think that this would be easy, but like everything else, it is as far away from easy as one could get.

Living in a box the size of a prison cell is not an option.

I have until Feb. 6 to accept my housing offer — a double in Bice. I have a couple of reservations about this scenario though. I would be living with five strangers, all of whom currently are first-year students and seem to be friends, and while being the odd one out was fun in elementary school, I’ve come to like the idea of being surrounded by my friends.

I requested a single room in Bice because of my insomnia-like lifestyle. I have not gotten a good night’s sleep in two years because I am such a light sleeper, and when it comes to falling asleep quickly, I rank last — my usual laying-awake-before-submerging-into-dreamland time is about an hour and a half. I have also been diagnosed with chronic sinus issues, which are no doubt caused at least in part by my lack of sleep. Needless to say, a single is the best option, but I would rather be tired all the time as I am now than live in Gooch-Dillard, so the jailhouse box will not work for me. If the distance were not enough of a problem by itself, the bathroom conditions would turn any hopeful renter away from Gooch-Dillard.

With the deadline to confirm quickly approaching and my efforts consistently falling short, I may in fact be stuck living with strangers next fall. I am planning on appealing the contract, hopefully switching into a single in either Bice or Lambeth and finally achieving one of my life’s goals: a healthy, habitual sleep pattern.

Lately, I have also been giving a lot of thought to living in the International Residential College. I have many friends who live there and love it, but the waitlist is still about 30 people long, so my chances are fairly slim. A major reason that I want to live in the IRC instead of off-Grounds is that I want to go abroad in the spring of 2010. The IRC would be an excellent step in immersion into international ideals, and living on-Grounds means that finding a replacement roommate to take over a lease is up to the Housing Division, not the individual student — something I am a huge fan of.

I suppose I am a tad bit behind in this arena, but I was not ready to make a commitment for next year last semester, although my rooming assignment this year has been pretty spectacular overall. All that I am asking for is a single room that comes with a big closet and that is close to the Architecture school and costs less than $800 a month. I have had no such luck. The real problem lies in the concept of time — a foreign concept for many, myself included, — and the crunch on time to fulfill administrative tasks seems to be weighing down on students everywhere. It is as though doing something weeks in advance is not enough, so steps must be taken months in advance and soon I am sure it will be years. We have school to worry about, and then add activities, then future housing, future employment, and internships for the summer — most of which have deadlines that have already passed. Since when did we become adults with lives and responsibilities outside of school? I receive too many e-mails a day and am awake for more hours of the day than I like to admit; if this is how busy I am now, what will life be like when I am out of college? Even still, I am in the lower tier as far as busy schedules go here at the University. I do not understand how people do it.

I know that the housing issue will be resolved and work itself out; I would just like it to happen sooner rather than later so that I have one less thing on my plate to worry about. I guess it is all relative­ — lacking sleep or lacking a place to live — and I know that some people really do have to face those obstacles. Maybe I am sick of feeling grateful for my privileged life when I know deep down I feel awful about it.

Ian’s column runs biweekly Thursdays. He can be reached at i.smith@cavalierdaily.com.

It occurred to me at some point during the chaotic fortnight that is girls’ Spring Rush, when I found myself shaking the hands of a hundred first-year females and continuously caught in conversations about Old Dorms and O-Hill, to which all I could say was, “Aw! First years!” again and again: I am kind of a jerk.

But my little self-discovery brings to mind an unexplainable mystery of human nature. Why do people need to feel superior? Why must there be a social distinction between the old and the new? It’s a game we play, all of us. With every social institution, it seems, there are rituals or patterns of behavior, like punishment, reserved for the older and used against the younger and new. In elementary school, the back of the bus was reserved for the cool sixth graders, while the younger ones were forced to sit up by Pat, the bus driver, who loved smooth jazz and smelled like eggs. And even now, in college, we stick to these social patterns. How many of you have called out “First-years!” to a pack of girls walking down Rugby Road together, or at least laughed at someone who did? If so, chances are you’re a jerk, too.

And yet, unfair as these measures seem from an objective stance, every one of us feels as though they are justified. We all feel like we’ve earned our place as upperclassmen; therefore we maintain the right to make those below us work for their keep. But must younger be synonymous with inferior? Must we subject first-year students to modest levels of ostracism?

I think it goes deeper than lighthearted mockery and ridicule. I think it’s something psychological. That’s right, ladies and gents. You heard it here first.

Take, for example, the instance of hazing. When the new pledges of a fraternity have to struggle to earn their membership in this new group — i.e. sacrifice their dignity doing whatever horrific acts the other brothers dream up — they inexplicably feel more tightly connected to the group afterwards. Personally, I find this causal relationship completely bizarre. If someone soaked me in beer, sent me on a wild squirrel chase, then forced me to separate ice cream sprinkles by color with honey on my hands, I’d be anything but emotionally bound to those people. Hazing is not good. You hear that, frat boys? Not good. Unless it’s mildly entertaining to watch. But alas, I digress.

The point is that there is a tendency in human nature to want to belong to the group. Pledges get caught up in the madness, become overwhelmed with the chaos of it all, and when it’s over — when they finally pass the test — their inevitable instinct is to be more invested in the fraternity than ever imaginable. So when the next year rolls around and there is a new batch of victims, the frat bros use this exact logic to justify hazing those below them. The struggle of the journey makes the destination that much sweeter. (And, yes, I did just say “frat bros.”)

Move along with me, friends, to the bigger picture. The hypothetical fraternity of which I speak can be extended to the student body as a whole. Every fall, new first-year students arrive at the University. And each incoming first year will say he or she is a U.Va. student. Sure, he or she may have stocked up heavily on Virginia paraphernalia from Mincer’s or memorized the map of Grounds with the skill of any University Guide, but is that first-year student really a U.Va. student? Does that person know that sundresses and bowties are the norm at University football games? Will that student accidently take crunchy potato chips to the first floor of Clemons? Will he or she call Grounds “campus” and consequently be shunned by fellow classmates?

All of these situations pose the potential for the awkwardness that is first year. But don’t we need that phase to learn the dos and don’ts and adjust to our new surroundings? We need to be laughed at, and we need to make mistakes. Maybe we even need the mockery of older students who have already paid their dues. Sure, it’s a vicious cycle, putting little ones through the same torture we once endured, but when we finally come full circle, we know we are truly U.Va. students.

And now I’ve done that thing where I get completely lost in my whirlwind of logic and wonder if I’ve ended up contradicting myself. But I have faith that you all can figure it out for yourselves. Cheers.

Lauren’s column runs biweekly Thursdays. She can be reached at l.kimmel@cavalierdaily.com.

During his annual State of the University address yesterday, President John T. Casteen, III discussed the impact of the current economic turbulence on the University — including the effect of state budget cuts — and strategies to deal with the situation.

The address was focused almost exclusively on the financial state of the University.

“This is not an ordinary year,” Casteen said. “The uncertainties around us are a fundamental part of the University’s life.”

One of these uncertainties is related to state revenue. The state’s revenue shortfalls have greatly exceeded the estimates from the first quarter, Casteen said.

With Governor Tim Kaine’s proposed budget for 2007 through 2010, the University is facing three rounds of cuts, Casteen said. The proposal includes a general fund reduction of 8 percent, or $12.4 million, for the 2009 to 2010 fiscal year, in addition to a 7 percent, or $10.6 million, cut during the current year.

“We have seen a series of cuts and we will see more because the state simply does not have the revenue,” Casteen said.

Kaine’s proposals include eliminating the state match for the Eminent Scholars program, which began in 1964, Casteen said.

“[The] 2.8 million dollars proposed to be removed this time will end the program,” he said. The University is working to build legislative support for the program, which various University schools depend on, Casteen said.

The University will also delay two major capital projects: the renovations of Ruffner Hall and Cabell Hall, Casteen said. Privately funded projects, however, will go ahead as long as money is available.

Despite losses in funding, Casteen said the University is faring better than many national private universities in the Northeast.

“The fundamental reason is that many or most of them are dependent on maybe one revenue source,” Casteen said. Many private universities rely heavily on their endowments, supplemented by their tuition. It is not uncommon for major universities’ endowments to make up approximately 35 percent of their budgets, he said.

The University’s endowment has dropped about 25 percent in the first and third quarters of 2008, from $5.1 billion June 30 to $3.9 billion Dec. 31, Casteen said.

“From what we can tell, the flow of large gifts [which constitute the bulk of donations] will not stop,” he said, though the University also needs “substantial numbers of smaller donors.” The global nature of the recession is also important because many of the larger donors are in international business, Casteen said.

The economy will also impact financial aid, Casteen said, explaining that financial aid will increase as unemployment increases.

“Many of the funds that are required for financial aid come from donors,” he said. The University is working to continue acquiring donations, he said. There have been “fairly dramatic gifts” recently, Casteen said, including the $1.6 million donation so far for AccessUVa from friends of former Admissions Dean John Blackburn.

Though there are some federal financial aid bills passing through the House of Representatives and the Senate, Casteen said there are flaws with the current bills.

“Both bills increase funding for student financial aid, [but] the specifics and the amounts are different,” he said. “Neither addresses the fundamental defects … in the [federal financial aid] system.”

Casteen said the University has two choices to address the economic situation — one more proactive than the other.

“One is to see the crisis as an excuse for mediocrity,” he said. “The other is to see the downturn as an opportunity for carefully conceived, wise … and innovative thinking.”

Leonard Sandridge, executive vice president and chief operating officer, said University officials have thought on a “broad basis” to protect the University’s interests and programs. The University will be working to control costs, manage the employment level and find new revenue sources, he said. Furthermore, the University will not be filling vacancies unless absolutely necessary, Casteen said, but will refrain from laying off current employees.

In terms of building new revenue streams, Casteen noted that he wants to see the University expand into untapped regions, such as Asia, via online education.

“Imagine what we can do in places where we have never been but where our name is known,” he said.

Such branching out, however, is very challenging, with very few successes among American universities, he said.

“The demand for this service is huge. It’s everywhere,” he said. “We will meet these challenges and we will succeed.”

Sandridge said he agreed that the University will manage the difficult financial situation.

“Our objective is for those who receive services from the University will not see a decrease in the quality of the education and the patient care they receive, and that we emerge from this as a stronger institution,” Sandridge said.

The economy will recover eventually, Casteen said. Until then, “the challenge is to work together, to work smarter, to work more strategically than ever before,” he said, “and to understand that we will come out of this downturn a stronger and smarter university.”