While I appreciate Matt Dickey’s interesting and candid column (“25 Personal Hoos and Boos,” 2/17/2009), his opinion on the selectivity of the University Guide Service is unfounded. In looking for new members, the Guide Service considers our own ability to give quality training. To preserve the caliber of the tours we provide on behalf of the University, we only take so many new guides per semester. Because the University enjoys a reputation as a school with excellent tours, guides take the quality of our tours very seriously. I imagine what Dickey sees as self-importance in our members is simply a deep love for a service-oriented organization and its integrity.

Voting in spring elections began yesterday at 8 a.m. By 9 a.m., an error message was posted on Student Council’s referendum for the University Unity Project stating that the voting options did not allow students to adequately answer the question posed to them and Council would post an alternate voting method on its Web site. Though the quick assessment of this problem is undoubtedly appreciated, the University Board of Elections should have anticipated mistakes on the ballot and had mechanisms in place to catch them. Council’s quickly rendered poll is not a solution and should not be displaying the results of the vote on its Web site. To show results before the voting period is over compromises the legitimacy of the process. UBE does not have very many responsibilities, and a functional ballot is not too much to expect. UBE should have been able to anticipate this mistake by reviewing the ballot before elections began. Even if elections had to be delayed to correct the problem, that would have been preferable to invalidating the results for a referendum.

UBE Chair Alisa Abbott said UBE uses the majority of its budget to pay the Information Technology and Communication office to set up the computer program for elections. It is UBE’s responsibility to provide ITC with the necessary information for all voting options. All referenda were given yes or no answers and there was no distinction for the Council referendum, which required multiple answers. Abbott said there is no way to fix the problem on the ballot except to take the ballot offline and even then, to fix the problem would take much too long now that elections have already started. Abbott has already said UBE takes full responsibility for the mistake — but it is not enough to admit a mistake. This mistake should never have occurred in the first place. UBE should have examined the ballot for errors before it was released, whether by a closed trial run of the voting process or simply previewing the choices for voters. Council has stepped up and is attempting to conduct its own opinion poll, but its voting system has many flaws.

The most glaring fault is that students do not have to log in to vote on Council’s Web poll; anyone on a computer connected to the Internet may vote, but initially only one vote could be cast from each IP address. This meant a person with access to different computers could vote multiple times, but once all the public computers in labs and libraries around Grounds were used to vote once, no one else could vote from those computers. Though Council attempted to remedy the IP address problem yesterday by removing this restriction, the system remains an inadequate assessment of student opinion — students may now vote as many times as they like, without restriction. Council cannot be faulted for attempting to address this problem, as there was simply not time to put together a viable alternative that accurately measures student opinion. Because of the many problems with the poll on Council’s Web site, the results from it can in no way be considered the legitimate voice of the student body and should not determine the theme of the Unity Project in the coming year.

Council can obviously put together a way to measure student opinion on its own, independent of UBE. The next step for Council is to put in the time necessary to develop a poll capable of accurately assessing what new Unity Project theme is desired by students, as under no circumstances can the results of Council’s current poll be considered valid. The only reason to submit a referendum in this case is to capitalize on the publicity of spring elections so that as many students as possible vote on this issue. UBE has failed its obligations to those bodies that give it the power to run elections and it must instate a viable way to check for errors before future elections.

I HAVE A love/hate relationship with the Amazon Kindle.

If you don’t know what the Amazon Kindle is, Amazon describes it as “a wireless reading device.” It’s about the size and shape of a book, but it functions like a handheld computer to which you can wirelessly download magazines, newspapers, “e-books,” and other forms of electronic media. My mom got one of these little gadgets for her birthday last year, and I have since watched it and its magical “electronic-paper” display with a mixture of fascination, distrust, and outright detestation.

On February 9, Amazon.com announced the release of the Kindle 2, an improved version of the original with a faster Internet connection, sleeker design, and upgraded interface. On their Web site, the Kindle 2’s creators state their ultimate goal as having “every book ever printed, in any language, all available in under 60 seconds.”

The Kindle and its successor may seem harmless, but “electronic media” is not and will never be a substitute for a real, honest-to-god book that you can hold between your own two hands. Print media is quickly being replaced by the accessibility and ease of the Internet, but good, old-fashioned books, newspapers, and magazines are a venerable source of information that have more of a place than ever in today’s ephemeral world. They possess a timelessness and permanence that are becoming all too rare as we surge forward with new technology.

It’s no surprise that electronic media is so popular. It’s quick, convenient, and available 24 hours a day with the click of a button. And I must give credit to the creators of the Kindle, because, as a voracious reader, I’m happy at least to see a product that seeks to make books more accessible and more easily available to the masses. But no matter how convenient the Kindle may be, I’m disappointed to see yet another sign of the coming of the print media apocalypse.

It’s no secret that print media is in trouble. Don’t believe me? The last time you had to write a research paper, did you start with a casual glance at Wikipedia, or did you head to Clemons without even consulting the Internet? When you’re wondering what’s going on in the world, do you head to the newsstand or do you just type “BBC.co.uk” into Firefox?

With the revolution of the pay-per-click online media industry, old-fashioned newsstand publications like magazines and newspapers are being radically outpaced. Their costly publication and distribution is no match for the instant, cheap, worldwide access granted to an article on the Internet. It terrifies me to think that there may be a day when the lights in the offices of the iconic New York Times suddenly flicker and the presses grind to a halt.

Sure, the Internet is fast and convenient. It puts boundless information at our fingertips at all hours of the day and night, from the comfort of our homes. Instead of a time-consuming trip to the library and the need to once again re-learn the Dewey decimal system, it now takes only a moment and a few clicks to find out George Clooney’s birthday, Google the ingredients needed to make steak tartare, or find who invented CPR. But the Internet is totally unregulated. And while some reputable sources exist – drudgereport.com is widely credited with breaking the Monica Lewinsky scandal – all it takes to be a “journalist” on the Internet is a few dollars to purchase your own domain name before you can start spewing your ignorant views out to a hungry, curious audience.

Furthermore, Internet sources encourage lazy, uninformed news consumption. Using Google News to figure out what’s happening with the wildfires in Australia or the Casey Anthony trial may not always lead to the most reputable sources and obliterates the distinction between different newspaper and magazine “brands” that may have unique connotations.

A magazine like The New Yorker or a newspaper like The Wall Street Journal can never be matched by dime-a-dozen online imitators, but the plethora of online options put them at danger of eventually being just another Web site, ignoring their rich and storied histories. Even their official Web sites leave something to be desired by somebody who loves the feel of pages between her fingers and wants a reading experience that doesn’t leave her with a migraine.

Call me old-fashioned, but there is something about holding a book in your hands, smelling the unmistakable scent of its pages, and dog-earing each lovingly read chapter that can never be replicated by a world of online media and electronic books bought over wireless Internet connections. Newspaper front pages and magazine covers immortalize historical moments forever with their blazing bold headlines and photos. Great works of literature survive in their first, unabridged, un-edited volumes, still available in the rare book collections of libraries around the world as physical memorabilia of a time and place so unlike the world of today. Print media achieves a tangibility and immutability that can’t be found on the Internet; a book never suffers from a broken link.

I appreciate the convenience of the Internet, but it will never be a substitute for the influence and timelessness of great literature and great journalism.

Michelle Lamont is a Cavalier Daily Associate Editor. She can be reached at m.lamont@cavalierdaily.com.

IF I WERE to reluctantly put on my patronizing fourth-year hat for one column and advise undergraduates to do one thing at the University, it would unquestionably be undergraduate research. My field research trip to southern Thailand in summer 2007 to study an ongoing insurgency first hand was (probably literally) a once in a lifetime experience.

No, I didn’t write this for that shameless plug. I wrote this because slightly over 50 percent of all University students pursue some kind of undergraduate research during their time at the University. While this is often parroted as a remarkable statistic, I find it to be rather depressing.

Think about it for a second. Undergraduate research allows you to study what you like where you like (yes, no more dull classrooms and awkward still desks). It affords you the opportunity to not only deepen your knowledge of a field, but “develop new knowledge”, as Center for Undergraduate Excellence Director Lucy Russell puts it. Faculty will love to work with dedicated researchers, while employers are impressed by your creative abilities. What more could you (or anyone) ask for?  

Well, more money for undergraduate research I guess. So I was quite pleased when the Wilson Journal of International Affairs decided to throw its hat in the ring by inaugurating a new $1,500 undergraduate research grant last week.  

For those of you who saw the dollar signs and then went “The Wilson what?”, the Wilson Journal is an undergraduate research journal run by the International Relations Organization that publishes research articles on, well, international relations. While it has been published for years, this marks the first time it is allocating funds for the specific purpose of undergraduate research.

So what does that mean? Well, if you are an undergraduate, there are just over twenty research funding opportunities available to you, according to the CUE website. But before you start waving the mission accomplished banner, keep in mind that most of these grants are discipline, school or topic based. Given this sobering reality, the Wilson Journal’s drop in the bucket of undergraduate research funding should be welcomed, even if it is discipline-specific. “We saw a gaping hole in undergraduate research funding at the University, and we decided to fill it”, said Maria Li, the journal’s editor-in-chief.  

But a brief pause to reflect on progress made must quickly give way to long contemplation of further progress needed. While the Wilson Journal’s drop in the bucket is appreciated, it is exactly that – a drop. Other organizations at the University ought to trim their precious party budgets and start thinking about how they can make tangible contributions to the University’s advancement. College is after all about balancing letting your hair down and keeping your head straight.

Just money won’t do it either. Some organizations must eventually make the transition from money machines to facilitators of higher purpose. Engineering Students Without Borders is one good model for this. The group assembles students interested in undergraduate research from an engineering perspective and helps them with networking and proposal drafting. Another good example is the Global Development Organization, which has just led the campaign for a new Global Development major that includes a strong research component. The group has also showcased dozens of research presentations by experts and students alike at its weekly meetings.

Collaboration might facilitate this process even further. “There are so many organizations doing almost identical things, and it would be very helpful if all these groups would work together instead of overlapping”, says Eric Harshfield, President of ESWB. To some extent, this is already beginning. For instance, the Social Entrepreneurship and International Development Conference that will take place this March is the fist co-sponsored event by ESWB, GDO and other groups. More efforts of this ilk are needed.

The University can also play an active role in enhancing undergraduate research. Distinguished and interdisciplinary major programs should have a small budget dedicated to funding research that students produce; even small grants for travel could go a long way. We should also look to emulate the successes of other institutions. William and Mary’s Sharpe Programs admit 75 students who live together and work with faculty to execute a community based project, sowing the seeds of independent research in the minds of talented freshmen. This might be more of a tangible benefit for advanced students than registering early on ISIS.

I could go on, but you get the point: we should be proud of how far we have come, but we still have a long way to go. So whether you’re a student, organization, or member of the administration, consider making undergraduate research a priority. At best, it will be life changing and academically beneficial endeavor. At worst … well, you will be studying something you are passionate about for free. I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a pretty good deal to me.

Prashanth Parameswaran’s column appears Tuesdays in The Cavalier Daily. He can be reached at p.parameswaran@cavalierdaily.com.

1 .BOO – THE 25 facts I didn’t want to know about you trend on Facebook. While it may have inspired this informative and enlightening editorial, it is basically another platform for self-important/emo-inclined people to talk about themselves. As if all your 1,000 close friends and not-so-close acquaintances wanted to know that you hate people touching your hair (… but I do apologize for the one time I did that. I honestly had no idea!)

2.  Hoo – The fact that said trend is slowing. Hopefully, this puts the last nail in the coffin. The news feed hasn’t alerted me of a 25-random-facts-about-me-post in 48 hours.

3.  Boo – Valentines Day. For singles it is depressing – who wants to be alone on a day that celebrates the already hegemonic social pressure to pair off? For couples it can be equally depressing – the forced faux—romance of the day can come off as uninspired and routine.

4.  Hoo – VOTING! Wahoo student self-governance!

5.  Boo – The fact that nobody does it. Student self—governance only becomes a joke when you let it. If you want the right to complain or praise the actions of the University Judiciary Committee, Honor, Student Council, Class Council, etc. you need to vote. I know you want to be able to complain, so go do it. Now.

6.  Hoo – Online voting! Who doesn’t wish that we could have voted in the state and national elections this past November via a Web site? It makes the whole process extremely convenient and fast, and hands—down beats waiting in line outside Venable.

7.  Boo – Online voting: the fact that it is so easy is a double-edged sword. It could be a contributing factor to the low turnout rates in the student body by creating a sense of diffused responsibility on a massive scale. If everybody thinks they don’t have to vote because other people are, then many people will attempt to ‘free ride’ and less people will vote overall.

8.  Boo – Easy voting sometimes leads to uninformed voting. Before jumping online to vote on a referendum that you only know about because of that brightly colored flyer you passed, you should actually take the time to figure out what the consequences of your choice could be in the long-term.

9.  Boo – The trifecta of self—important organizations: Honor, University Judiciary Committee, and University Guide Service. How competitive does serving the University community in these roles really need to be? If these organizations were truly concerned with expanding education about the organizations and the University, they would greatly increase their membership at their most basic level. The best way to educate people is to engage as many interested people as possible. Instead, like a union trying to artificially inflate the wages of current laborers by keeping others out, these organizations pump up their ego by making entry overly competitive.

10. Hoo – Easy opportunities to get involved in the community through Madison House. Service shouldn’t be unnecessarily competitive, and Madison House offers a range of programs that let practically every interested student get involved.

11.  Hoo – The new Global Development Major. Students and faculty finally pulled together an interdisciplinary program that is long overdue in today’s global environment.

12.  Boo – Lack of respect for interdisciplinary programs at the University. Restrictions placed on upper level classes in departments such as philosophy and psychology make it hard for interdisciplinary majors to get in to these courses. This is further highlighted by the recent denial of tenure to Assistant Anthropology Prof. Wende Marshall, who works in the Carter G. Woodson Institute for African—American and African Studies.

13.  Hoo – Having non-commerce classes in the Rouss and Robertson Hall. Sharing is caring, and those classrooms are nice.

14.  Boo – Denying College students access to the computers in the Rouss and Robertson Hall. Apparently, they have to draw the line somewhere.

15.  Hoo – Lots of outdoor space integrated into the University’s layout. While the lawn is nice, it isn’t even the beginning of all the awesome outdoor nooks and crannies that are all around grounds. The University should preserve these as it continues to grow.

16.  Boo – Railroad tracks separating residential and commercial sections of the corner. Not a great example of pedestrian-friendly urban planning.

17.  Hoo – Increase in applications from diverse backgrounds. The switch to the Common Application has increased the number of students applying to the University from ethnically and culturally diverse backgrounds.

18.  Hoo – 65 degrees in January! I knew there was a reason I moved south! Spring is almost here and it is by far my favorite season in Charlottesville. The days are getting longer and warmer, and there is far more to do outside to fill them up.

19.  Boo – 40 degree temperature swings. Virginia’s schizophrenic weather makes it near impossible to know how much, or little, to wear (within reason) and I always end up too warm, too cold, or too wet at some point in the day.

20.  Hoo – Spring break. I’m ready.

21.  Boo – Professors scheduling tests either the day before, or the day after spring break. Honestly? Are you evil?

22.  Hoo – Tearing down Balz and Dobie houses this summer to make room for two new dormitories. The University is finally going to start on its much needed multimillion dollar face lift to bring first-year dorms into the 21st century.

23.  Boo – The fact that these dormitories were originally built to last only thirty years … over thirty years ago. These dorms were a quick fix to the sudden doubling of the University’s population when women were officially admitted. Let’s hope the University can plan ahead a little better this time around.

24.  Hoo – Sustainable practices for all new buildings built around grounds. Finally, the University seems to be catching the green wave with the elimination of trays, expanded recycling programs, and drought-resistant landscaping. Tree-huggers everywhere: rejoice!

25.  Boo – Those trees around grounds that shed the stinky berries in the fall. Before I realized the pungent aroma’s unexpected source I was literally looking around, trying to avoid what I could only guess was a hidden pile of vomit on my way to class. I don’t care how much we love trees, these need to go.

Matt Dickey is a Viewpoint Writer for The Cavalier Daily.

A gay soccer team, a group of talented artists and a one-armed, legless dancer are just three testaments to the distinct culture of Iquitos. Once remote in both culture and location from the rest of Peru, Iquitos is becoming increasingly well-known to an international audience of movie-goers.

As the inspiration for “Amazónico Soy,” a documentary directed by José María Salcedo, the people of Iquitos represent an aspect of South American life unknown to most University students. Iquitos, the largest city in the Amazon, is a trade port in a region only accessible by boat and plane. As a result, its people and their unique talents have been hidden from the rest of the world, Salcedo said. In an effort to publicize Iquitos and his own film, Salcedo screened the film last Wednesday in Minor Hall.

With “Amazónico Soy,” Salcedo said he wanted to pay a tribute to the community of Iquitos that would make the struggles and perseverance of its people known throughout the world. The movie focuses on a group of street urchins called “La Restinga” — which means “to the place where the river doesn’t reach” — showing the path one group of people take to stay optimistic despite facing adversity. One such member of “La Restinga” is Nico, a legless, one-armed man who makes his living as a breakdancer.

Katherine Willcox, administrative assistant for the University’s study abroad program in Peru, said Nico first started dancing on street corners to provide a living for his family. As a child, his father left him, and “his mother lament[ed] that she even had him,” Willcox said. Nico now has a family of his own and provides for them through his dancing, Willcox added, noting that Nico also uses dancing to express his appreciation for God and the life he has been given, traveling and performing all over Peru. The film displays how the people of Iquitos truly “appreciate life” and that they are “living life to the fullest,” Willcox said.

Daniel Chavez, assistant professor of Spanish and American Studies and a member of the discussion panel that followed the screening, said the film “will give hope [to the homeless in America]” and will lead to organizing greater unity within the American community. Chavez also said it will show that “poverty is not always a synonym with helplessness.”

Salcedo said “Amazónico Soy” poses the question of how “people who … are able to resist the struggle, bad luck and misery” manage to survive with happiness in spite of all adversity, while Willcox said she believes the film will not only be a great success but will “change [America’s] perception of the world.”

The film is set to open in the United States within the year. Its name will be changed from “Amazónico Soy” to simply “Amazónico” for American audiences. Salcedo said he is very optimistic about how Americans will receive his work.

Salcedo said he has devoted his life to working in and around the film industry. He has previously held minor acting roles in films, written scripts for films and worked as a radio personality. He was born in Spain, but at the age of 4 moved to Lima, Peru, which he now calls home. Salcedo is well-known for his journalism and cable television show, which featured the University’s philosophy chair Jorge Secada, the head of the University’s study abroad program in Peru.

Secada will be featured in Salcedo’s next film project “Ashánika,” which features a unique collaboration of fiction, non-fiction and documentary film styles. The film will discuss Secada’s transition between his life in Peru and at the University and also will document several University students who were a part of the study abroad program in Peru. Salcedo filmed these students during their time in Peru and again when he visited the University last week. The majority of the filming for “Ashánika” is complete and will hopefully be done by the end of this year, Salcedo said.

Through his films — such as “Amazónico Soy” — Salcedo said he seeks “to discover something new … everyday”.

It may only be February, but Spring Break is almost upon us. Though with the alternating 30- and 60-degree days we’ve been having, I can see how you might be confused as to what season we’re even in.

In anticipation of the break, people already are hanging up winter coats, trading boots for flip-flops and doing that weird wire-walking thing between trees on the Lawn. The groundhog may have seen his shadow, but we college kids aren’t swayed by the meteorological predictions of rodents.

Never mind that spring doesn’t begin for another month — our vacation is a week-and-a-half away, and we’ll be damned if we’re going to usher it in with scarves and sweaters.

Ah, Spring Break, that time of year when thousands of college students flock south to thaw, like birds who got left behind. A time when you ignore the pleas of your professors and skip your Friday, Thursday and maybe even Wednesday classes before vacation. A time for road trips, sunburns, $10 margaritas as big as your head — and if you’re lucky, a lot of laughs at the expense of wrinkly old dudes in Speedos.

In years past, my Spring Breaks mostly have been low-key. I’ve never had what the show “Friends” once aptly referred to as “Spring Break woohoo!!!”

The “Spring Break woohoo!!!” may sound like a disease you catch from a wonky hot tub, but it’s actually the mythic sun-and-alcohol-soaked holiday that only seems to appear on TV and in movies. It’s when characters on teen dramas make the mistakes that will haunt them until the finale. It’s when coeds in horror films face karmic punishment for loose morals and wet T-shirt contests.

Take, for example, the cautionary tale, “Spring Break Shark Attack,” a 2005 made-for-TV movie. Assuming you aren’t among the six of us who actually watched it, the brains behind this deliciously terrible gem helpfully spelled out the plot in the title. Add all the cleavage that primetime can get away with and a sprinkling of “ironic” dialogue like, “No way! The guys there are sharks!” and you have a pretty good idea of what I’m talking about.

Which is, of course, pure awesomeness, the best of the worst. As I watched, my reactions went something like this: “Have these sharks evolved to feed on silicone breast implants? Does all that fruit punch in the water mean someone died? Did that fellow just purposefully windsurf into a shark’s mouth?” Needless to say, it was educational and entertaining.

In essence, “Spring Break woohoo!!!” is the first half of “Spring Break Shark Attack.” It’s a week-long clothing-optional party — only at the end, no muscled guy in a muscle tee saves you from the danger of an approaching dorsal fin.

It’s the kind of vacation we grew up watching on MTV Spring Break, but perhaps without quite so much staged dancing and karaoke — or maybe with more. It’s a place where neon bikinis and mesh half-shirts are the height of fashion, otherwise known as A.C. Slater’s version of heaven.

The “woohoo!” at the end of “Spring Break woohoo!!!” is the necessary verbal indication of how much fun you’re having. You can tag it onto any sentence, particularly with a high-pitched voice and an accompanying fist pump. On Spring Break, exclamation points are more than just a way of speaking. They’re a way of life.

And yet for all its cultural resonance, I am somewhat doubtful that the “Spring Break woohoo!!!” actually exists. I believe that the combination of tequila and heatstroke results in debauchery, but I also suspect MTV might have blown things out of proportion. It was likely an effort to shock those 13-year-olds — myself included — who were sneaking in some after-school cable before their parents came home.

It is possible that the “Spring Break woohoo!!!” — like other mythic beings, from unicorns to Bigfoot — is only spotted on rare occasions by the truest of believers, those that never take off their mesh and “woohoo!” in the face of every obstacle. For the rest of us, it’s the kind of thing we can only carry our cameras around in the hopes of spotting. In fact, as with Bigfoot, we might run scared if we ever actually did come across it.

But regardless, come Feb. 28, many will go out in search of the elusive “Spring Break woohoo!!!” I wish you the best of luck. Just, you know, watch out for sharks.

Rebecca’s column runs biweekly Wednesdays. She can be reached at r.marsh@cavalierdaily.com

We all know that the second-most iconic setting at the University ­— after the alley behind the White Spot at 3 a.m. on your hands and knees, feeling around, asking your friends to wait up while you try to find your dreams — is the Lawn, with Jefferson’s Rotunda sitting at its head.

While the Rotunda is obvious, more nuanced aspects of the Lawn include the rooms that line it, in which some of the more decorated and high-achieving students reside. These students are awarded residency in these rooms based on a highly competitive admissions process. Everything they have done in their lives has been impressive and made sense, until they competed with other competitive people to live in small rooms with no heat. Though in fairness, the University does provide them with access to firewood to keep a semblance of feeling in their toes throughout the winter. The perks aren’t “cushy” so much as downright velveteen.

But back to the nuances I mentioned. Just about each Lawn room is outfitted with a small dry-erase board and marker, with the intent of allowing friends and passersby to leave small notes of well-wishing and greetings for Lawn residents. It does not, however, always turn out this way. Thus, with no further ado, I have elected this week to provide you with a comprehensive, based-on-objective-research-and-nothing-else list of The Top 40 Things to Write on Lawn Residents’ Dry-erase Boards. Here they are:   

1. “Heyyy I heard the news, I heard the news!!!! SOOOO glad you guys decided to keep it!!!  xoxo Marcie”

2. “Duck.”

3. “S-s-seems l-l-ike my P-p-parkinson’s is here to s-s-stay.”

4. “Pull my finger.”

5. “Pull his finger.”

6. “Hey man, bad news, they found a couple of the bodies…”

7. “Sometimes people think I’m bipolar. Those people suck and should die. But then I realize that they’re only people. And that I just want to cuddle.”

8. “Pens are a no-no, so we carved this into your board permanently with one of our many knives. Love, the Amish.”

9. “There were some folks here with a giant check. Ah. They just left.”

10. “I dropped your dog off but you weren’t home. I used the mail slot.”

11. “‘Arson’ is a funny word…”

12. “I pooped.”

13. “You’re out of Q-tips.”

14. “Don’t come in, I’m not done yet.”

15. “Nine inches.”

16. “Fun fact: cocoa butter ≠ cocoa + butter + stirring. Sorry for the mess.”

17. “Doctor said it has like, only maybe a 40 percent chance of “flaring up” again…”

18. “Turn around. And smile.”

19. “Four hours my ass, Cialis.”

20. “We heard about that fork you took from Newcomb. Pack your things. Love, The Honor Committee.”

21. “I heard about that fork you took from Newcomb. I’ve taken all your things. <3 J. Casteen.”

22. “You weren’t home, so I left the diarrhea meds on the step. Kisses.”

23. “Dad died.”

24. “Test came back positive. Which for you, incidentally, is quite negative.”

25. “‘Marijuana farm’, ‘garden’ … Tomato, tomahto. Your room gets all the light.”

26. “The application to live on the Lawn you submitted last year was found to be fraudulent. You are to be moved completely out of your room in 24 hours. Not to worry. There’s space in Gooch.”

27. “Hi. I thought I’d stop and jot a note while I streaked, and the room I picked was yours! I am 100 percent nude.”

28. “Your toothbrush has a very nice feel to it.”

29. “So did your bathrobe.”

30. “And sheets.”

31. “I saw some guy stealing your firewood. So I helped him.”

32. “I’mmmmmm drunk. Has anyone ever told you your mail slot looks a lot like a urinal?”

33. “1, 2, 3, 4, I declare a thumb war.”

34. “Ever since you blocked me I haven’t been able to poke you on Facebook, sooo … poke!”

35. “8===D.”

36. “8=========D”

37. “888=======D. How ‘bout them apples?”

38. “Hi. — Larry Flynt.”

39. “I hope I finish this note before the guy chasing me ge—.”

40. “Great to be back. Get out. Love, T.J.”

Austin’s column runs biweekly Tuesdays. He can be reached at a.wiles@cavalierdaily.com.

The Virginia men’s lacrosse team greeted Bryant College in its first Division I men’s lacrosse game with a sound 10-4 thumping.

The Cavaliers spread the scoring around; seven different players scored for Virginia. Freshman attack Steele Stanwick started the scoring just more than six minutes in the first quarter. Running across the field in front of the goal and pressing against a defender, he flicked a quick shot through Bryant goalkeeper Jameson Love’s feet. Though the freshman has benefited from playing alongside two seniors on the attack, Stanwick has shown poise and an ability to find the back of the cage.

“He’s got a bright future, I think. He’s just a really smart lacrosse player, again, very poised for a young kid,” Virginia coach Dom Starsia said. “And he fits in very nicely with Danny and Garrett, so it’s been a nice match so far.”

Starsia, however, pulled the three attackmen in the third quarter in part because “clearly they weren’t playing well … [and] if any part of that is fatigue, you just want to get them out and give them a break.”

The Bryant game was the second in 48 hours for the Cavaliers.

“We ask a lot of those three attackmen that were out there,” Starsia said. “Our [midfielders] didn’t play a lot today.”

Stanwick also scored the game’s last goal, streaking from behind the goal into a hole in the defense and finding the far front corner of the net. In between the bookends of Stanwick’s two goals, junior midfielder Brian Carroll worked his way through the Bryant defense three times during the evening.

Carroll converted his first goal during a man-up situation 3:34 into the first quarter. Sophomore midfielder Shamel Bratton dumped the ball to Carroll in front of the goal, and Carroll turned and fired. Of Virginia’s five man-up situations of the game, the team only converted on Carroll’s first goal.

With this season’s personnel, the Cavaliers may need more offensive production from the midfield, of which Carroll’s hat trick provides a good example of a player that stepped up his game, Starsia said.

“Generally our attack is going to do the majority of the scoring,” Carroll said. “We had a pretty bad shooting percentage last game, and I think if our [midfielders] can start shooting a little better — I think they shot better this game — then the middies will definitely become more involved in scoring.”

Virginia put itself up 4-1 before the end of the first quarter, and when sophomore midfielder Rhamel Bratton found senior attackman Garrett Billings for a laser practically parallel to the cage, the Cavaliers led 8-3 going into halftime.

Both teams struggled to find the net in the second half, as neither team seemed to possess the intensity of the first half and both teams needed their defenses to hold the other team back. For the Cavaliers, their early shooting accuracy combined with solid defense kept Bryant at bay. With 5:00 left in the first quarter and the score at 2-0, Bryant had taken nine shots and made zeros saves, while Virginia had three shots and three saves.

Referring to Virginia sophomore goalkeeper Adam Ghitelman, Starsia said, “Today was, I felt like, a little of a coming-out party for him, It’s probably the best he’s played since he’s been here in Charlottesville, and it’s a day when we needed him to do that.”

Ghitelman tallied 12 saves in all, and “he seemed like he had a big save whenever we needed it,” Starsia said. “You just see that he’s got more confidence right now, a little bounce in his step. If he can continue to build on that, then we’ve got a chance to be pretty tough.”

Graduate Zack Greer, the NCAA career scoring leader who followed his former coach Mike Pressler from Duke to Bryant for his last year of eligibility, was limited to two assists, as the Cavaliers always seemed aware he lurked around the net. In the second quarter, Greer found himself with the ball directly in front of the cage, but four white Cavalier jerseys collapsed around him almost immediately.

Although Virginia may not have executed all it sought against Bryant, Starsia said, “It’s the beginning of a long journey, and I think we’re headed in the right direction.”

If the ACC Baseball Coaches Preseason Poll’s pick for Virginia finishing fourth in the ACC Coastal division is any indication, few baseball minds are giving Virginia any serious thought as an ACC contender this season.

Regardless of this year’s final result, however, Virginia coach Brian O’Connor can take solace in the fact that for the first time since the squad’s 2006 campaign, he has a team that will not lose too many key contributors at season’s end.

In Virginia’s starting eight in the field outside of the pitcher’s mound, only junior third baseman Tyler Cannon could go pro next season. From the pitching staff, senior Andrew Carraway will graduate, and juniors Neal Davis and Matt Packer could go to the MLB.

Outside of these losses, though, the Cavaliers have plenty to look forward to from their young lineup.

“The exciting thing about this team is that I think 95 percent of this team will be back for 2010,” O’Connor said. “There’s no reason why we shouldn’t be able to compete this year, but that is exciting.”

O’Connor said there will be many games when he starts three freshmen: Danny Hultzen at first base, power hitter Steven Proscia at shortstop and John Hicks at catcher. The experienced players, including Cannon at third, will fill out the infield. Hultzen, reminiscent of 2007 graduate Sean Doolittle, will double as a weekend starter, likely in the Saturday slot, sandwiched between Carraway’s Fridays and Davis’ Sundays. Power-hitting Phil Gosselin at second and defensive stalwart junior Franco Valdes, competing with Hicks to play behind the plate, also will add their experience to the mix.

In the outfield, the Cavs have four sophomores who will compete for time, all of whom were used early and often last season. The returning team batting average leader Dan Grovatt will see action in right, and Jarrett Parker — who put on 20 pounds of muscle in the off-season while maintaining his speed, O’Connor said — will start in center.

In left, the lefty David Coleman and righty John Barr will both get plenty of innings; Coleman will get the majority of the time for the first month as Barr recovers from off-season shoulder surgery, Coleman said.

In the bullpen, O’Connor said Packer — who has alternated between starting and relieving during his career — will begin the season as the team’s closer to replace 2008 graduate Michael Schwimer. In middle relief, however, youth will once again take over; Virginia has a cluster of players with a year of experience in redshirt freshman Sean Lucas and sophomores Tyler Wilson, Robert Morey and Kevin Arico. None of these players put up impressive numbers last season — Morey is the most experienced of the quartet, giving up 27 hits and 22 runs in 27.2 innings of action last season — but O’Connor said they have fared well in preseason practice.

“I think the four of them who are now second-years are going to be really, really important to our team,” O’Connor said. “Those starters — if they go five, six, seven innings — somebody’s gotta bridge the gap to Matt Packer.”

While many will look at Virginia’s roster and question its youth, the underclassmen carried most of the load last season, when the team went to the NCAA Tournament for a program-record sixth straight year. Four of the top six hitters were freshmen last season; Barr, Grovatt, Coleman and Gosselin all hit more than .300. Packer’s 1.14 ERA was good enough to win the Division I ERA title as a sophomore, and Davis was close behind at 1.58.

“I don’t think [the underclassmen] are [going to] back down from anything,” O’Connor said. “I think they have a lot of confidence.”
For Parker, criticism of Virginia’s youth only adds fuel to the fire.

“That’s us they’re talking about,” Parker said, sticking a finger to his chest. “It fires me up.”

For O’Connor and his players, it is clear that the squad is not looking ahead to next season as its time to shine; the players firmly believe that they can win right now. Win or lose this year, however, next season — when the underclassmen have both experience and fire — could be when Virginia is as good as it has ever been during O’Connor’s era.