Awkward situations have become a staple of our generation. We thrive on scenarios of social distress, making awkward turtles with our hands and screaming, “That’s what she said,” whenever we can. In fact, did you know that your likelihood of having an awkward conversation today is about 83 percent? I am not making this up. Actually, yeah, I totally am.

But believe me, as the ultimate authority on moments like these, I know that despite what you might think, most situations that society deems “awkward” are not actually awkward at all. I’ve compiled a list of five scenarios, which most people would typically regard as awkward, but that really should not merit an “FML” moment. Don’t believe me? Read on, suckers, read on.

1. Seeing professors in the real world.

Believe it or not, teachers are people, too. That’s right: living, breathing Homo sapiens. And so, is it really that surprising that these human beings, like you, hang out on the Corner, shop at Harris Teeter and drive their cars around Grounds? Is it weird to see your professors outside of the classroom? Um, duh. But is it necessary to stare them down while they play with their kids on the Lawn? Is it right to gawk with your jaw dropped when you see them pumping gas or eating a Bodo’s bagel? Or should you just ignore them, rush right by without acknowledging their existence, just because they’re not behind a podium? No. Any one of these behaviors will only make matters worse. Although your discourtesy probably won’t affect your grade, it will certainly say something to your professor about your maturity level. Besides, professors are usually pretty cool outside of the classroom. Give them a chance.

2. Randomly bursting into song.

I’ll admit it: I wish life was a musical. I want my existence to be filled with Tony-winning melodies and top-notch choreography, a hearty opening number at my birth and a standing ovation at my death. So, naturally, I can frequently be found singing to myself as I walk to class or humming a tune very lightly in the library. And sure, I get a couple of raised eyebrows or confused expressions every now and then. But truth be told, most people sing to themselves when they have a song stuck in their head. So why is this considered an awkward behavior? It’s hard to say, but I’m going to go down the Freudian route and suggest that our oedipal complexes cause us to have extreme, childhood-rooted anxieties that oppresses our souls’ means of expression.

3. Passing people you know.

Long ago, when friendships were rooted in personal interaction (wait, that actually happened?) and not through social networking sites or instant messages, a surprise face-to-face encounter was unexpected, but still welcomed. Now, such a situation spurs anxiety ­— should you greet them? Should you wave? Should you just smile? How far is too far to acknowledge their presence? As you two walk closer and closer in the corridor, you are overcome with apprehension. Should you stare straight on and pretend you don’t see them? Should you whip out the cell phone and feign texting? OK, stop right there. What has happened to humanity and all that is good in this world? When did it become OK to simply ignore people? Does this really make things less awkward than just saying hi? If you think it does, we can’t be friends.

4. Getting caught with your parents.

So you and mom are cruising aisle eight at Walmart, looking for some new socks, when suddenly — cue the soundtrack from “Psycho” — you run into that hot guy/girl from class, who will hereafter regard you as that loser who is incapable of buying socks on her own. My response is this: Everyone has parents. Yes, the ‘rents can be a little on the embarrassing side from time to time (“Do you need more underwear while we’re at Walmart, honey?”), but almost everyone can relate to the mortifying experience that is shopping with a guardian. Think about it with the tables turned: If you saw someone cruising the sock aisle at Walmart, parents in tow, would you be enough of a snob to point and laugh or think that person was suddenly uncool?

5. Forgetting someone’s name.

We all have that one person — you know, that kid who you’ve seen at more than a couple parties, yet somehow you can never remember his name? Awkward, right? Well actually, not really. See, at least in a party setting, chances are that if you don’t remember his name, he won’t be able to remember yours — unless he has some freakish name-game function in his brain, like associating you with an animal or something. So instead of greeting them with the awkward “Hey … you …” have a friend start the introductions and listen for the person’s name. Or, if you’re sans-wingman, admit that you have a bad memory and reintroduce yourself. Total awkward time count: about 0.2 seconds. Done and done.

Lauren’s column runs biweekly Thursdays. She can be reached at l.kimmel@cavalierdaily.com.