Gender bender
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, especially to the proud feminists out there, but one thing is undeniable: there will always be differences between the two sexes. Even before we are born, our parents start decorating nurseries in the universal pink for girls and blue for boys. Around the world, bathroom signs depict ladies as that ubiquitous stick figure clad in a dress and men as an identical shape, sans the odd triangular vestment. There is a clear gender separation.
For me, gender differences are especially visible during our college years. There’s even a Web site called “Bros Like This Site” that highlights the favorite activities of alpha-males in their 20s, which range from tailgating to eating red meat to debating whether a girl is hot. The site has inspired me to think of the disparities between male and female students at this University. Put more succinctly: stuff U.Va. “bros” like and stuff U.Va. “biddies” like.
First of all, boys and girls tend to segregate academically. An overwhelming percentage of the girls I know are art history or sociology majors — softies, for lack of a better word. Meanwhile, the Commerce School and Monroe Hall, the new economics building, are genuine seas of testosterone and Axe body spray. Because let’s be honest, bros love money, at least according to the Web site. Similarly, the sexes concentrate in different libraries. While Alderman Café and the picturesque, Hogwarts-like McGregor Room are saturated with girls, boys seem to gravitate toward the smelly depths of Clemons.
The diets of the two genders also appear to vary drastically. If you ever feel inexplicably compelled to experience what life must be like at an all-girls school, just step into Take It Away. For reasons unbeknownst to me, girls flock there at lunchtime. Boys, on the other hand, frequent Little John’s for their sandwich fix. For coffee, the female species really loves $5 soy lattes without foam or whip (so basically, plain coffee with a really exhausting name) from Starbucks, while males opt for the cheap, simple brew at Bodo’s right next door.
Although boys and girls usually have similar final destinations in mind when they go out each night — with social lives intersecting at parties and bars — their evenings tend to unfold in radically different ways. Bros like to sit in their apartments watching football, chilling to classic rock, pounding cases of PBR and doing the occasional shotgun on the porch. On the other hand, the girls upstairs are undoubtedly engaging in one of their two favorite pastimes: playing Kings or having a dance party, more commonly known as a DP, to either a top-40 jam or any 90s boy band hit. Needless to say, they will have Andre or some sort of flavored vodka in hand, complete with plastic sorority cup and straw.
Clearly, boys and girls both ascribe to their own unique dress codes, especially at the University. Jack Rogers sandals are the paragon of all things female — I personally do not know a girl who doesn’t own a pair. Many have a color to complement each outfit. Meanwhile, the other gender dons those brown leather flip flops, the omnipresent Rainbows. In terms of outerwear, one analogy sums it up: Barbour jackets are to females what Vineyard Vines fleeces are to males. If only that one had been on the SAT.
Lastly, and probably most paramount, bros and biddies view relationships in entirely different lights. In fact, the word “relationship” is probably inadequate here, as boys seem to avoid its use at any and all costs. As “Bros Like This Site” accurately purports, bros loathe dating. Conversely, many girls like to nitpick every detail of every interaction with every boy they have ever had an inkling of a feeling for. They also define the epitome of dating success as having a relationship made “official” on Facebook, which in itself is ultimate validation.
Evidently, boys and girls interact daily, but, in essence, live on different planets. I immediately know whether an apartment belongs to a boy or girl depending on poster choice: most males have a Bob Marley up in smoke, while a lot of girls uniformly display the classic, emblematic Audrey Hepburn image on their walls.
The media has even capitalized on our differences; Entourage embodies the goal of every college-aged male, while The Hills constitutes a similarly unrealistic aspiration for the female set. We may all be in Charlottesville, but there is some truth to the adage that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. It isn’t just a difference in chromosomes, but rather an undisputable fact of life: bros and biddies will never be the same.
Abby’s column runs biweekly Wednesdays. She can be reached at a.coster@cavalierdaily.com.
This might be one of the most pointless articles I’ve ever read in the CD. Wow.
This article is crap.
I’m really disappointed a UVA student wrote this. Aside from its lack of a point or opinion, the mindset that wrote it is even more upsetting.
You are extremely ignorant. You must take a Studies in Women and Gender class. Really. It’s obvious you can’t see past your extremely narrow worldview. You try to qualify this article at the beginning, but it really underscores why you need more education. I suggest Judith Butler’s “Gender Trouble” for a start.
All of the examples you point out are extremely totalizing and stereotypical of a few of your friends, and certainly not true of the whole population or of other cultures. And furthermore, the “differences” you point out are all socially constructed actions that aren’t as inherent as you make them out to be. Even sex isn’t as biologically determined as you may think.
Love,
a boy
This sort of mindset is the reason we just co-educated in 1970.
I can’t even begin to name the generalizations in this article. Though I am a Humanities major girl, I am an avid fan of Bodo’s and have never even tasted a soy latte or seen an episode of the Hills. No Barbour jacket, no Jack Rogers sandals. I like Audrey Hepburn but definitely not more than Bob Marley. I respect anyone who both does and does not share these characteristics, but does my lack of fitting into this mold really make me an exception to the “rule”?
I don’t feel this article begins to consider the diversity within the two genders. People are individuals, period. The characteristics presented in the article are not absolute definitions of masculinity or femininity; the girls here that love sports and rock music and live in the Engineering and the Commerce schools as well as the boys majoring in Music or Sociology and enjoy the atmosphere of Starbucks and the McGregor room are a testament to this.
This is weak and obvious satire. You are all fools for not appreciating the artistic value of this work.
What artistic value? If it had been a satire, it could have been much more intelligently written. And, yes, Judith Butler would have a field day with this one. Gender is performative, and while many may “perform” these gendered activities mentioned in the article, most people do not. I like Starbucks, I own rainbow flip flops, I hate Take-it-Away, I like Little Johns, I don’t know who Bob Marley is, in college I studied both humanities and astronomy, I don’t know what a barbour jacket is, and I love dark beer. Please, enlighten me, what gender am I?
Please take a step out of the comfortable bubble you seem to have found at U.Va. I am a sorority girl, complete with Jack Rogers and an affinity for take-it-away, but if you “personally do not knw a girl that doesn’t own a pair” then I am curious to know what rock you are living under. Yes, the U.Va ‘dress code’ and idiosyncrasies are something amusing to make fun of. However, if you seriously think that is all there is to U.Va, then I am sorry that you are not making your most out of your time here. Welcome to the world. It may be funny to laugh at stereotypes, but it is not funny to think that is all there is, and your column does not come off as clearly a joke.
Whoa, take a step back. “androgynous” – you don’t who Bob Marley is? Now that is cause for concern, male or female.
Abby, it’s hilarious that you are in the COMM School. Based on your assertions above, you and your Jack Rogers sandals belong over in Campbell Hall learning art history. For your next trick, I’d suggest you expound upon the inherent differences between the races and follow that up with an essay on the merits of hegemonic social structures. I’m saddened to think that you’ll be graduating from UVA this spring and are still spouting this blather.
Abby, you should tone it down a little. You might reach more people if you make your argument more mainstream.
This is just a really bad satire, right?
It would work better if we didn’t go to UVa. oops.
Thanks for calling my major soft.
You must be really awesome because you’re in the Comm School.
I guess since you just dashed all my self confidence, I’m just going to become a trophy wife filled with useless Van Gogh facts. I’m a fourth year, is it too late to start scoping out Comm School majors??
I could point out the obvious that you obviously have no working world experience with other people, that this kind of generalized idiocy is not only dangerous, but anti-progressive, or that everything you said above runs counter to everything modern thought stands for, but the most important thing I can tell you is that people like you are the reason why stereotypes and gender violence exist. The fact that you want to perpetuate these thoughts still is utterly frightening, and I am mortified that you are a UVa student.
Abby,
You peeled off just one layer of the veneer of life at UVA – and are facing the hate of those that want no one to ever talk about it. Don’t sweat it. Your observations are reality. But in the Orwellian, peer pressured, “progressive” world of the current UVA regime – you spoke just a little bit of the unspeakable. No crime in that. I just wish you had taken a moment to step back and remark how revolting it all is. All I can do is suggest you stop watching so many stupid TV shows and movies. Other than that, you didn’t do anything wrong.
If this is satire, it is the worst I’ve ever seen. Maybe they don’t teach that in the Comm School, but if you’re going to be writing poorly constructed CavDaily articles, you should probably talk to someone and learn how. After you graduate from UVA, your employers will Google your name and find this article. If this is satire, it’s so bad that they won’t realize it, and I bet they won’t be willing to hire you. If it’s not satire–well, you probably won’t be getting any jobs in the first place.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, especially to the proud journalists out there, but one thing is undeniable: there will always be differences between good writers and bad writers. Even before we are four, our parents start deciding what preschools we should go to; they put aside money for the education of the promising ones, not the others. Around the world, publications publish the articles of good journalists and some journalists should never get published at all . There is a clear talent separation.
that’s satire
Okay. I think you’re right about a few things but your thesis is flawed. This article could very well serve useful in distinguishing the preppy students / greek culture on grounds but can not be applied to describe gender differences across the board. There are a lot of people at UVA who aren’t preppy and I think you just pissed most of them off.
Secondly, you’ve conflated gender and sex. Gender is learned behavior, such as the differences between men’s and women’s fashion, and sex is inborn. All you’ve done is point to gender differences we know exist, like what men and women wear, while attributing the cause to “clear gender separation” ergo solving nothing and simply going in a circle.
Girl you are all mixed up!
Also, this made me laugh pretty hard. Because it’s true: “After you graduate from UVA, your employers will Google your name and find this article.”
Also again, this is partially your editor’s fault for slipping this article into the life section of the CD and not opinion.
She forgot a crucial difference—U.Va boys are always studying in the libraries and going out with friends, and women are always in the kitchen, baking!
Honestly, I can’t believe that we wasted space in a widely-circulated paper to publish this drivel. This article perpetuates stereotypes, reinforces negative gender roles, and contributes absolutely nothing to an intelligent conversation on perceived differences between the sexes. When I read it on a bus, my mouth fell open.
The editor should seriously consider having more backup articles and writers on hand so they don’t have to resort to such a lackluster use of brain cells. Please don’t patronize my readership.
Leave it to a bunch of self-righteous college students to get worked up about an obviously tongue-in-cheek and lighthearted article. Was this this article a clever work of pure satire? No, but the tone is obviously light. Is this article well written? Not particularly, but certainly not worthy of some of the incredible indignation expressed in some of these posts. Really, you think that somebody won’t be able to get a job because they wrote a crappy article in a college newspaper? Did this article get sent out on the SWAG major list serve or something?
Leave it to some pretentious egotist to belittle others in order to make himself feel important. If you don’t think the article is significant enough to generate this much argument, why did you add to the responses? Guess you thought your little dig was too clever to be passed up. Maybe next time you should stay out of it instead of lording your oh-so-intelligent opinion over us.
Secondly, whether you are male or female, mocking the SWAG major is incredibly ignorant, insensitive, and out of line. They are studying the degredation of over half of the world’s population. Is that something you want to take lightly?
This is sick. Really sick and uninformed. It’s people like you, Abby, who are enforcing and reproducing gender disparities.
What you describe are socially constructed ideas of what is “feminine” and “masculine”. But you seem to group people into either one category or the other. Gender is not binary.
I’m just one example of many: I identify as mostly masculine and slightly feminine. That is my gender. My biological sex does not determine this. There are also more aspects to gender than just these categories.
Before posting an article and claiming knowledge of a subject, you need to do your research. Good journalism consists of research: multiple sources. Opinions in your head might be great for a diary entry, but you can’t go around publishing unsubstantiated “facts” about which you really no nothing. It is unethical and irresponsible.
This is the most mind-numbing, soul-destroying piece of drivel I’ve ever read. This is either the most inane piece of earnest commentary I’ve ever read, or the worst satire. Having foolish, ill-informed opinions is one thing, although I would hope that UVa students would be capable of more insight. But expressing those opinions in such a tragically boring way is just sad.
This was a fairly extreme article, yes (and quite unnecessary). But you can’t sit there on the other side of the court yelling the opposing extreme. Men and Women are fundamentally different. You cannot deny that. When it all boils down, that is all this article is saying. So relax, you’re making a big deal out of something so very trivial.
Abby, I am offended by the generalizations that you make about my sex and the opposite sex. Women are not lacking in ambition or weaker (and therefore have to choose a ’soft’ major), nor do we require expense in order to assure quality. I can enjoy a cup of BoJoe just as much as a triple grande hazelnut nonfat latte with whipped cream and I frequently get both in the same day. It is not a matter of whether or not I am feeling indulgent or hoity-toity, it is a difference in preference dependent upon mood, just like men have. Additionally, I have visited Little John’s just as many times as Take it Away, and I like them both for different sandwiches. My point is that we do not segregate our tastes by male or female, but by what interests us, regardless of gender.
I think that you are mislead in your conception of what is acceptable to each gender. Yes, the ladies at UVA do look good, some to attract men, others because of the boost in self confidence, and yet others just because they respect themselves. The same is true of the men at UVA. Differences in the acceptable fashions are shaped by what most makes respective figures appeal to the opposite sex.
Yes, there are gender differences, but they are perpetuated by society. Life at UVA has come a long way since the 1950s. College is no longer a place for women to while their time in a fru-fru major during their hunt for a husband. Current students are engaging in educational studies that fascinate them. I’m sorry that you don’t value ’soft’ majors but we can’t all be interested in Commerce, Engineering, and Pre-Med. You might be right in claiming that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, but it is for very different reasons than those that you listed.
PS. I take my steak medium-rare. You can treat me to one if you’re tired of Take it Away and I can educate you in gender inequality as the University teaches it… maybe then you’d understand that those ’soft’ majors require a lot of thought and are difficult too.
What are these fundamental differences?
My biggest problem with this article is that it just reinforces my assessment that, as a newspaper, the CD is sub par. This probably wasn’t even reviewed by the editors; I could have written this in my sleep.
I don’t understand why everyone is attacking Abby. The article is in good fun, why is everyone overanalyzing everything?
Good gracious, women are so damn annoying. Just listen to all these SWAG majors nag away on this message board. YOUR MAJOR IS A JOKE. If you believe the contrary, you are mistaken, I assure you. My brain — which by the way is heavier than yours (fact) — can’t take your whining any more. So please be so kind as to shut up, get off the computer, run (I mean SPRINT) back to the kitchen where you belong, make me a delicious sandwich with mozarella, prosciutto, tomato, maybe some rocket salad or basil, lather the ciabatta with olive oil, and then immediately go and iron my large collection of wrinkly shirts.
Ahem. All things considered, that article was pretty average. That is to be expected, however, since not only are women inherently unfunny, but the vast, vast majority of them can’t write either.
Hahah.
with all the “DONT GENERALIZE OR YOU WILL BE BEHEADED BY THE POLITICAL CORRECT POLICE” sentiment that is reinforced everyday of our lives, it’s nice to take a break from it all and enjoy some good, old-fashioned generalization for the fun of it.
Sure, most of the generalizations of guys didn’t apply to me (I am not a typical uva student either though). But who cares? It was still enjoyable.
politically* correct
This type of argument is perfectly irrational and short-sighted. While the author demonstrates an admirable adherance to antiquated social “norms” there is an obvious departure from an evidence-backed thesis. The arguments and observations put forth in this diatribe are perfectly acceptable to present as long as you can justify them. However, as any decent scientist will tell you, the biased observations of the individual do not directly correlate to a sociological trend.
For example: if you happen to walk into Take-it-Away only once a week during lunch and that happens to be the hour when one of the UVA sororities has their meeting in that same restaurant, of course you will think that only girls frequent that restaurant. Similarly, if you only spend time with men who wear fleeces and girls who wear jackets of particular brands, you will obviously miss observing the remaining University population that does not conform to this trend.
I am glad you are observent enough to notice that men and women will always differ. Given that men are XY and women are XX there are fundamental differences in the sexes that can not be ignored. Lets face it: men will never give birth, we lack a uterus. Women will never produce sperm; they lack testes. Congratulations on noticing this. I am proud that your university education has brought you so far.
This article is one of the most inaccurate descriptions of UVA I may have ever read. It makes all the students here seem shallow, snobby, and pretentious. The fact that a UVA student wrote this is really sad. This reads like someone who has never been to the University wrote this based on inaccurate information.
Based on no element of argumentation from any ENWR (English Writing) course would this piece get any grade higher than an F, letting along getting published here. We enjoy such a student body of diverse backgrounds and yet this article attempts to label us with trivial and false stereotypes.
I do not fit into any of those “bro” stereotypes and I find them degrading to myself and many of well behaved and educated fellow students.
Jasper
To the author of this horrific article, have you ever immersed yourself in anything remotely academic or intellectual at U-Va.? Or have you spent your entire college life on Rugby Row? MOST of the student body is not Greek, and thank God for that.
All the stereotypes you allude to exist, but they do not describe U-Va., rather they describe the one-third of the student body that thinks fraternities and sororities are actually cool or worthwhile.
Ben
CLAS 1999
This article is why CD was and will always be a sub-par student publication… how in the world did this writer ever get this job?
Maybe you should get some new friends and expand your horizons outside of “bros” and “biddies”.
read this for proof that men and women are truly different:
http://www.oprah.com/article/omagazine/200904-omag-women-leaving-men
This article is just plain bad, satire or not. Everyone’s said what I was going to, so I’ll leave it at that. Yes, there some GENERALIZED differences between the sexes, but the number of exceptions are outstanding.
- a girl who hasn’t heard of Take it Away, has never once studied in Alderman, and started U.Va. as a math major
Ok, commentary on this article is now starting to get ridiculous. It has been firmly established through 40 somewhat redundant comments that this article is pretty terrible, but now it’s just getting to the point where people are piling on and probably pushing this girl towards an emotional breakdown. She isn’t in a sorority for the record, so let’s quit hopping on the whole “I hate Greek life” bandwagon as well.
Hmmm…. yeah, right. If she’s not in a sorority, she’s probably a first year who will be in one soon enough. People outside of that scene don’t tend to use the fratty terms “bros” and “biddies” for starters, not to mention the ridiculous clothing references she made.
And the Greek scene has been making one-third of U-Va. more like Hampton-Sydney and less like peers such as (the state-supported portion of) Cornell or Berkeley forever… if mocking Rugby Row for their intellectual inferiority is a bandwagon, I for one have been this glorious wagon since my first day on Grounds!
Chill, she asked for it. To put this kind of crap out in the world, she deserves to hear crap back.
I’m just going to assume this is satire because if she’s serious, then there’s no point in even bothering to reason with such ignorance. As satire, it’s still rather horrible. Poorly written, poor generalizations. I have been at UVA for 4 undergrad years and another year grad, and I have no idea what Jack Rogers sandals are, or what a Barbour jacket is. I certainly know girls and guys in the Greek system too. If she wants to write satire, she should take a course in it with Paul Hunter in the English department. Otherwise, just don’t even try. I can’t believe the CD published this. I suppose that printing crap and having people disgusted at them is the new way to get attention. Sad.
For an example of satire that’s written a bit better, see ‘proud mysoginist.’ Although…I still think this kind of satire is damaging to equality. Think about it, if this were written about African-Americans, would it be tolerated?
For example:
“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, especially to the proud civil rights activists out there, but one thing is undeniable: there will always be differences between black people and white people.”
Oh, wow, would that have been offensive? Even if it were satire, and the author really thought that black people and white people should be treated equally? Oh, maybe it would have? Wow, so, it’s ok to sit here and ridicule women and the SWAG major…but it’s would not be ok to ridicule black people and the African-American Studies major? Huh, I don’t get it…why is that? When both couldn’t own property, couldn’t vote, and could legally be beaten as of 200 hundred years ago….hmm. So wait, why is ok to make fun of one that represents over 50% of UVA’s students, but not the other that represents less than 15%? I’m confused…
It’s not ok for either group. Start treating women with the respect that they deserve. If you’re going to fire a student from the CD for writing a satirical comic that offended people (Grant Woolard’s Ethopian Food Fight http://www.cavalierdaily.com/?s=grant+woolard), then you have to fire a student from the CD for writing a satirical article that offended people. This article was offensive, sexist trash and should not be tolerated at UVA.
Again, Abby, don’t sweat it. Some people are just mean and like to wander across a comment thread to insult others anonymously. It makes them feel bigger by trying to make others feel smaller. Don’t let the bastards grind you down.
Sean, take it to the PVCC newspaper comments. There’s no wonder you’re the only person who thought there was truth to this article. The reason is that you’ve never been a student at UVA and thus have no idea what you’re talking about.
yawn..
Sean, I don’t think that mentally rigorous response of “yawn..” is going to win you any points in that argument. Just sayin’. But a townie’s impression of UVA is generally slanted toward “Daddy’s little angels” on The Corner and Rugby Road side of things, as the frat scene is the most visible to the rest of C-ville.
If you had been a student at UVA, you may have gotten a broader view of what is “typical”… as the heated responses from all these students and alumni would indicate. The UVA community is bigger than just its students and alumni, but in this case you don’t have as clear an insight without having “been there” as a student yourself.
Ben
CLAS 1999
Your pathetic and generalized statements about fraternities and sororities are just as obnoxious and worthy of criticism as this terrible article. First, your use of “scene” screams how much of an elitist social tool you are, and secondly, regarding your comment about “bros” and “biddies,” really? If you really think people on Rugby Road use the term “biddies” maybe you shouldn’t have watched “Clueless” 50 times thinking the movie was clearly similar to Rugby Road in order to form your impression of a group of kids you obviously know nothing about and who obviously don’t think of you enough to form the same vitriolic opinion of you that you have of us. The kids who make this school more like Berkeley or Cornell are totally cool in my eyes, what they do has absolutely no effect on my life here, I suspect the way I live my life has no effect on yours either, so why don’t you grow up and quit projecting your 5th grade nightmares of bullies on to a bunch of kids who happen to live in the same area off grounds.
And one other thing, this girl is a 4th year and not in a sorority, so keep on livin’ by the stereotypes you so joyously claim to denounce, buddy.
@James, I didn’t at all imply that frat boys are bullies. I only implied that frat boys are stupid.
Thanks for backing me up, bro. *high five*
What does this article serve? Why not direct our time, energy, and devotion to more worthwhile endeavors, right? Even if these notes on UVa society were true, why not work to change them, making a better community for us all? And to everyone commenting in long runs – the same goes to you.
How did you get into UVA?
I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
No but seriously, great article.
“bros and biddies will never be the same.”
Nope, Abby, they won’t. Why? Because drivel like this continues to be spread around in a society where people think babies pop out of the womb either sprouting pink glitter or blue tonka trucks.
Not only do I not own anything from Vineyard Vines or Jack Rogers, but I have never had a Soy Latte or gone to Take it Away either. Forget the fact that you completely stereotyped both genders, you crammed every UVA student into a pre-packaged, prep box that is woefully untrue and a bad representation of the actual diversity that can be found at this school.
Oh and I’m not a SWAG major or a lesbian either. So by all stereotypical definitions I should not exist.
Come on, people! No comments today? I’ve had a jolly good time reading the responses to this article since the 11th. And for the record, I know a premed lesbian SWAG major who eats Little John’s for breakfast and has lunch with her sorority sisters at Take It Away every afternoon at 1 o’clock. She’s also in the Comm school and is a mother of two. Her fiancee is a Philosophy major who prances around in a tutu during the afternoons and eats a lump of cold poison for breakfast every morning.
hahaha! i really hope the internets gets to this before it dies away, but really doubt it because of how magnificently insular the references are. with the whole “tradition” fetish thing it’s got going on, uva does a great job of making itself seem oblivious. woe is an international student at this school.
n/h gg would read again!
You might enjoy this analysis of the abstract model of gender bipolarity:
http://www.equalityloudoun.org/?p=338
Controversy sells papers and hikes TV ratings. The ability to stir same is valuable. Hire this person.