For a musical titled Urinetown, I was delighted to find that First Year Players’ fall show was not, in fact, a succession of bathroom jokes told in song, but an offbeat, witty and ironic satire of musical theater itself.

The premise is purposefully ridiculous: In the near future, a worldwide drought has caused a catastrophic water shortage, and so private toilets have become outlawed. Instead, people must pay steep fees to use public bathrooms monopolized by a corrupt capitalist company. Other than a reoccurring metaphor involving baby bunnies killed in interesting new ways, much of the hilarity comes from the fact that the show not only breaks the fourth wall, it shatters it with enthusiasm. At the very beginning, our charismatic narrator, the corrupt cop Officer Lockstock, says to the street urchin Little Sally, “Nothing can kill a show like too much exposition,” and Little Sally responds, “How about bad subject matter? Or a bad title, even? That could kill a show pretty good.” The company then launches into the first number of the show, “Too Much Exposition.” You get the idea.

Against a colorful backdrop of graffiti-covered walls, the cast members played their caricature roles with wonderful comedic timing and just the right amount of melodrama. Ryan Richardson, who played Bobby Strong, shone as the protagonist, with a deep, powerful voice ideal for giving impassioned speeches, singing hilarious gospel-style odes to freedom and screaming for extended periods of time. But I prefer Daniel Prillaman as Officer Lockstock, the unscrupulous narrator whose well-timed offhand comments and synopses of the play brought the show to life.

Although the premise of the play thumbs its nose at musical conventions, its musical numbers embrace them — to ridicule them. Ironically, it is perhaps musical junkies, those who would at first turn up their noses at the dubious premise, who might enjoy the show the most, as the varied and hilariously choreographed musical numbers parody the styles of everything from Les Miserables to Chicago to West Side Story. Not many musicals include line dancing, jazz hands and exaggerated ballet. And not only is the choreography hilarious, the songs themselves are extremely catchy. There’s a reason that Urinetown took the Tony for Best Original Score. Some speculate that it would have taken Best Musical too, if it hadn’t been for the title. Perhaps Little Sally was right.

Some words of caution, though: After watching the show, don’t be surprised if your roommate reports you to Student Health counseling after listening to you chanting “Don’t be the bunny,” under your breath for two days.

You have a choice: You can press this seemingly innocent-looking red button and receive a million dollars, but if you do, a person, somewhere in the world, who you do not know, will die. That’s the premise behind writer-director Richard Kelly’s new film, The Box. At once a sci-fi thriller and socially conscious, message-driven film, The Box’s many overlapping subplots make for a movie that is much more confusing than stirring.

Arthur and Norma Lewis, played by James Marsden and Cameron Diaz, respectively, are a financially strapped, average American couple living in Richmond in 1976. Approached one day by the mysterious and facially disfigured Arlington Steward (Frank Langella) with the all-important box, the Lewises make a decision that catapults them through a series of “tests” that drastically and tragically alter the rest of their lives.

A film that examines so closely the drives and motivations behind our actions will rely heavily on the leads’ performances. Unfortunately, the top-billed actress ultimately lacks the know-how to carry the film’s weight on her shoulders. Diaz feels forced and stiff, usually looking deeply tormented but without something really cooking behind her eyes or voice — probably a product of her sugary, thick put-on Southern accent. Marsden gives a much stronger performance, playing a warm and endearing husband. The true standout, however, is Frank Langella, delivering with ease an extremely complex character: a misanthrope that still falls prey to human emotion and sympathy.

The look of the film is nearly as captivating as Langella’s performance. Intricate mise-en-scene, unique shots and colorful cinematography characterize Kelly’s latest directorial attempt. Combined with music reminiscent of Hitchcockian suspense thrillers, The Box has an old-school feel, with new-school special effects.

Despite its stunning appearance, The Box’s storyline is lackluster. Though Kelly hit instant cult favorite status with Donnie Darko, which he wrote and directed, he does not command the same adoration here. He clutters the central point with numerous subplots and miscellaneous characters and raises too many questions, which he often not only fails to answer but to even address in any way. As a result, the take-home message of the film — the declining altruism of the human race — is obscured in a sea of insignificant details.

Richard Kelly certainly knows how to direct a film, but he might have hit a wall in the screenwriting department with The Box — its jaw-dropping look is not enough to save the disjointed and unfocused script. Kelly’s problematic casting of the lead role further cements the film’s fate: Though a valiant effort, overall The Box leaves the audience feeling disappointed.

As the semester nears its end — yes, believe it or not, the semester will one day end — we at tableau take a step back to reflect upon what form our lives will take after we graduate from the ranks of The Cavalier Daily and move forward in our lives. What, you ask, do graduates of The Cavalier Daily — and more importantly, tableau — do with their lives?

Fancy you should ask! While it is pleasant to imagine our lives as picturesque — frolicking downtown, going to festivals and concerts, weeping together about films, rocking out to new releases, squealing with every new video game mailed to our front door — in reality, life outside The Cavalier Daily offices is often not so sweet. But our endeavors, if you can believe it, are often successful. Case in point: tableau alum Ashley Kinney and her directorial debut, She Loves Me!

Spectrum Theatre, a largely student-run segment of the University’s vast drama department offerings, often produces a student-directed play each semester. This fall, third-year College student Kinney tackled the Broadway hit She Loves Me!, which follows two co-workers who exchange love letters through a “lonely heart’s club” (yes, it’s the inspiration behind You’ve Got Mail) only to find they are writing to each other. With the largest cast Spectrum’s ever worked with — 17 actors, six art staffers, full pit — She Loves Me! debuts tonight at 8 p.m.

“Spectrum puts out great theater, but it lacks the manpower to make people realize how remarkable of an organization it is,” Kinney said. “The cast and crew on this show are all so hardworking and consistently brings everything they’ve got to rehearsal — which is a director’s dream.”

Dreams for us tableau-ers can come true!

—stephanie garcia

This past March, a terrible, life-altering event happened while I was on my way to a game at John Paul Jones Arena — an event so gruesome and tragic that I can barely muster the strength to write about it now.

My iPod broke.

Sad, isn’t it? After dropping it on the sidewalk near the arena, I was forced to find a replacement for it. After all, when you have a music collection as gigantic as mine, you need some way to keep it straight, right?

Originally, I thought I would buy another iPod similar to the 30GB iPod Video that I had. But considering some of the issues I had with it — including the fact that Apple flat out refused to even look at it, much less try to repair it when I brought it into the store — made me consider other options.

That was when I found the Creative Labs Web site and saw an ad for their 32GB Zen MP3 player. The first MP3 player I’d ever owned was a tiny 1GB Zen, so I decided to investigate their latest models. After reading the Web site’s sales pitch, I decided to take the gamble and buy it. I must say, I have been quite satisfied with my purchase.

The Zen has many distinct advantages over the iPod that I think make it a better investment. First off, I was immediately struck by the sound quality coming out of the earbuds. Even on lower-quality recordings, I was able to hear and pick out each individual instrument on each song, quite important for a music enthusiast like myself. The songs came through with a sharp clarity that rivaled sophisticated stereo systems. The Zen will play just about every file format, though there may be some difficulties with the protected .mp4 format that previously was used for iTunes purchases. That can easily be evaded, however, by first burning the files to a CD and then adding them to the Zen.

Also, unlike the iPod, the Zen’s memory system is entirely Flash-based. Essentially, this means that the Zen does not have a spinning hard drive, which saves wear and tear and leaves it less vulnerable to shock.

Perhaps the most interesting feature of the Zen is its expandable memory slot, which allows the user to insert an SD card into the system to create extra space. So if — or in my case, when — a user’s music collection exceeds the 32GB capacity of the player, he can continue to add more music. And with some SD cards as big as 32GB now, one could conceivably double the entire capacity of the player. This feature could also serve as a handy back-up system for the player.

The Zen’s screen is infinitely superior to the iPod’s as well. One of the biggest things I noticed about the iPod was that I immediately had to buy a case for it because the screen was getting scratched just by sitting in my pocket. I’ve had my Zen for about a month now, and the screen has yet to scratch. It’s just as crisp and clear as when I bought it.

There are a few features that I wish the Zen had, though. The biggest gripe I have is that there is no “All Songs” button when the user selects an artist to play. So for a user like me who likes to organize every song by album, but then doesn’t always remember which song goes with which album, this can present a difficult challenge.

Also, I prefer the iPod’s touchpad wheel to cycle between songs, rather than the button on the Zen. I miss the seamless nature of scrolling down the menu that the iPod offers. The Zen also requires me to buy a whole new set of speakers if I want to hook it up to them, because it has no neat little docking port like the iPod.

Overall, I think the Zen has turned out to be a better investment than the iPod. Most of its features are as good as or better than the iPod, with only a few minor disadvantages. And it checks in at just $179.99, compared to the $299 32GB iPod Touch or the $249 160GB iPod Classic.