Many people who see me hang out with my friends assume that we hate each other’s guts. We spend about 90 percent of our waking minutes yelling and arguing about stuff deemed by most to be “ridiculous” or “pointless.”

But from my perspective, there’s no issue too trivial or absurd to debate. Here are a few of my favorite sports-related topics from the past few semesters.

How would the UConn women’s basketball team fare in the men’s NCAA Tournament?

Certainly, the No. 1 Huskies wouldn’t come close to winning the men’s tournament, but we disagree about how competitive they’d be.

My thought is that they’d keep up with quite a few small-conference schools. The most talented and refined women’s team in the nation could probably stay toe-to-toe with B-level men’s talent. I’d probably take UConn against any 14- through 16-seed in this year’s NCAA Tournament, but almost definitely not against any at-large-or-better school.

Could Virginia have won the College World Series if Stephen Strasburg had been a Cavalier last year?

It’s tempting to say “yes” because, you figure, you add the most talented pitcher in the nation to one of the top eight teams and you’ll likely push them over the top. Our rotation would’ve been a first-rate Stasburg-Hultzen-Carraway.

But remember that it only takes a couple losses to be eliminated and that Strassy wouldn’t play every game. My bet is we would have finished in second or third.

Could Usain Bolt make it in the NFL?

He could scorch from one end zone to the other in less than 10 seconds, but would it matter? I say no.

Unless he has sticky hands and enough brains to run routes, he’d be near-worthless as a receiver. As a running back, he’d need a refrigerator-sized hole and a pretty open field because there’s no way he could break NFL tackles.

Still, I’d consider him with a late-round pick in the NFL draft for marketing reasons. Then, I’d put him in for a few plays each game to inspire terror in opponents. Admit it: If you were a coach, you’d have nightmares about seeing the fastest man in the world in the opponent’s backfield.

Is the ACC Coach of the Year Award cursed for Virginia?

Both the men’s basketball team and football team have yet to recover from huge downfalls immediately following winning the award. Neither coach was ever the same, and both have been booed out of Charlottesville.

Then again, Mark Bernardino, a regular winner for both men’s and women’s swimming, has yet to have a dramatic fall. Also, Brian O’Connor and his baseball team seem to be doing pretty well so far this year after he won it last year. So maybe the trick is to win it but make sure your program doesn’t take in any revenue.

What is the minimum talent LeBron James would need around him to win the NCAA Championship?

Suppose he replaced anyone on the Cavaliers, even Sylven Landesberg. Then Virginia wins it all. James could still score prolifically if double-teamed. And if they triple-teamed him, I’d take Virginia in a 4-on-2 against any team in the country.

But what if you took a bunch of out-of-shape chumps like me and my buddies? I say we lose to anyone in the NCAA Tournament, and hard. So your minimum is somewhere in that range: between Virginia and chumps. You decide how large a range that is.

What would Monica Wright’s role be if she played on the men’s team?

The most popular response from women’s basketball-loathing snarks is “benchwarmer.”

But Wright is a player who would transition quite well to a men’s style of play because she has tremendous speed, strength, fitness, and competitive drive, perhaps the most in the ACC. She’s a pretty solid passer and scorer, and she’s one of the best defenders in women’s basketball.

I think she’d be a starter or the sixth “man.” Her height would be her biggest disadvantage, but she’s about as tall as Sean Singletary, so it’s not like it would preclude her from success.

How far would the women’s team have advanced last year if Monica Wright had been a year older and Sharneé Zoll a year younger?

So, to clarify, this would have been four of our starting five: The third-most productive scorer in ACC history (Wright), the most productive passer in ACC history (Zoll), a consistent 15-and-5 (Lyndra Littles), and a center who frequently totaled double-doubles in about 25 minutes of playing time (Aisha Mohammed). Every one of them would be a senior.

You could fill out the fifth position with just about anyone. Virginia would automatically be a top-10 team, maybe top-five. With all of that experience, I’d give them a good shot at the Final Four. Unfortunately, they would have had to conquer Connecticut — also undefeated last year — to claim the title.

So I say our bizarro-Cavaliers then finish with an overtime loss in the national finals to the Huskies.

Who is the greatest Virginia athlete of all time?

This is the granddaddy of all of our ridiculous arguments — though it’s ridiculous more in its scope (dozens of sports and over a hundred years of competition) than its topic. I think we spent the entirety of last spring in The Cavalier Daily office arguing about this.

We generally narrowed it down to a few candidates: men’s basketball player Ralph Sampson, football player Bill Dudley, women’s basketball player Dawn Staley, old-time baseball player Eppa Rixey and men’s tennis player Somdev Devvarman.

I’ve half-jokingly suggested Devvarman as the correct answer in past columns, but it has to be three-time National Player of the Year Sampson, I think.

I still believe he was downright foolish for staying at Virginia as long as he did. It also hurts that he never brought a NCAA title banner to Charlottesville in spite of a Final Four appearance and an NIT title. But he’s one of the most decorated athletes in NCAA basketball history, and I don’t think anyone has meant more to the University than Sampson.