THE CALENDAR says it's close. Flowers are on sale. Heart shaped boxes decorate every store. But what is it about Valentine's Day that makes us go on a shopping spree? For all its propaganda and sentimental attitude on love, February 14th remains a holiday that few look forward to.
Sure, it was sweet in elementary school, when all the holiday meant was that you had to buy a box of Winnie the Pooh valentines to give to the class and maybe a lollypop or two. Now, however, it is possibly the most loathed holiday in the world.
According to the survey conducted by Kelton Research and sponsored by Brown-Forman, 76 percent of people stress over Valentine's Day. Couples fret over the gifts they are expected to give and the amount they are supposed to spend. Singles mope over their lack of a partner, and subsequently, over their lack of gifts. In fact, much of the enthusiasm and love that is supposed to be expressed during the holiday is lost in the anticipation of knowing exactly what to expect. Or to dread.
The transformation of St. Valentine's Day into a modern, commercialized American holiday is complicated, but it suffices to say that most people, if not all, have forgotten the original reason for celebration. Let's face it: now it is a pre-planned, clichéd Hallmark holiday.
It's simple, really. People run around buying cute stuffed animals, roses, chocolates and Victoria's Secret lingerie to proclaim their undying love (or lust). They then proceed to have a romantic dinner, have sickeningly sweet conversation, and later on proceed to have great sex, embellished, of course, by chocolate body paint, edible underwear, and maybe a pair of heart shaped handcuffs from Spencer's. Nothing could make the night better -- unless, perhaps, if it was actually all a surprise.
"Men feel a lot of pressure on Valentine's Day. Our culture says: 'What did he do for you for Valentine's Day?' It's kind of a status symbol," says journalist Neil Chethik in his book 'VoiceMale -- What Husbands Really Think About Their Marriages, Their Wives, Sex, Housework and Commitment.'
And it is not any easier on girls, either. "It's so hard to find something for guys that is meaningful without it being so cheesy they don't like it. Valentine's Day is a holiday invented for girls, basically," says University student Traci Kelly.
In fact, the only gift girls seem to agree not only makes their boyfriend happy, but is easy on the wallet, is sex.
Because gifts are expensive. Incredibly so. One only has to look at the average quantity spent by most people on Valentine's Day gifts to realize that stores are taking advantage of the materialism of the holiday. According to the National Retail Federation's 2006 Valentine's Day Consumer Intentions and Actions Survey, conducted by BIGresearch, college students spent an average of $81.89 last year on their significant other. Even this, however, does not lead to holiday happiness. A research study conducted for leading comparison shopping search site Shopzilla showed that 55 percent of women have been let down on past Valentine's Days, compared to only 30 percent of men.
And we're only talking about couples. For singles, Valentine's Day can do more damage to the heart than any other holiday, since no other festivity singles people out so acutely. Everyone has a birthday at some point of the year, for example. And most other holidays can be celebrated in the companionship of either relatives or friends. Only Valentine's requires that one be paired up to join in on the fun. The pressure is on, however. According to the Online Publisher's Association, the largest segment of paid content on the web goes to online dating sites and personals. Match.com alone had 15 million members in 2005.
These people do more than try to find partners, though. Crestfallen singles have endorsed Singles' Awareness Day (SAD) for years, originally celebrating it February 14th, then moving it to February 15th when it became too depressing, according to singlesawareness.com.
If Valentine's Day was simply a day to promote love, I doubt there would be so many people against it. The truth is, though, it is not about love, it's about proving it through material offerings. And proving things simply takes the fun out of doing them.
While Valentine's Day was once a truly fun holiday to celebrate, the anticipation of knowing exactly what to expect ruins it. Singles dread being surrounded by gift-bearing couples. And those in relationships, rather than being surprised, are actually sitting around waiting for their presents. Valentine's Day is not romantic. It's predictable. Wouldn't it be so much more special if you surprised your special someone with a gift and dinner in the middle of June?
Andrea Arango's column appears Fridays in The Cavalier Daily. She can be contacted at aarango@cavalierdaily.com.
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