The perks of being the first lady

As a second year in my second semester, time is ticking for me to declare a major. Sure, I have plenty of options, but somehow they don't seem like enough. Let me break it down: I have trouble picking out my clothes every day. I've completed only 18 courses in my time at the University, and now I'm supposed to know what I want to do for my whole life?

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" seems to be the question on everyone's mind. First year, nearly everyone you meet is pre-med or pre-comm, and some are both. I've never been one of those people; commitment makes me too nervous. Of the numerous roles I've contemplated filling, the occupations I most seriously have considered include: architect, high school history teacher and vintner. For one reason or another, all have been weeded out.

If you had asked what my dream job was a couple days ago, I would have replied quickly, "to be like Keith Johnson - the buyer-at-large for Anthropologie." But during the past few days, I've been thinking if that really would be my dream job. If I really could do anything, what would it be? The question floated around in my head for days, until finally the answer came to me.

Laura Bush looked up from the pages of my politics book. The epiphany struck: My real life's ambition is to be the first lady of the United States of America.

You don't have to look far back in history to find incredible first ladies. My personal favorites are Jackie-O, Barbara Bush and Laura Bush. Jackie-O exemplified style, poise and strength. Barbara Bush helped Millie, the First Dog, write a book. But more importantly, she's probably the ultimate Steel Magnolia. Laura Bush is just so classy, and after all, she was the one to help me discover my career dreams.

The first lady has it all. She's the country's best female role model. She's stylish, graceful and poised. The first lady is the ultimate mother and wife. Everyone wants to be at her parties. She's the country's foremost entertainer. Her children are adorable; all other mothers want their kids to be as cute as her's. She lives in the United States' most prestigious home. She loves her husband, and stands by him through thick and thin. You've heard the saying, "Behind every man is an even stronger woman." The first lady exemplifies this. But she is also her own woman; she has her own duties. Each first lady devotes her time to promoting special causes and performing community service. She has the potential to be the American Princess Diana. Minus the paparazzi and crazy critics, she has everything I want in life.

I totally can envision my life in the first family now. We obviously would be close to other first families. BFF's with Carla Bruni-Sarkozy? Yes, please. I can see us now, sipping wine on the Truman Balcony and gossiping about the wives of other world leaders while our husbands talk business and smoke cigars on the South Portico. Our children always would be dressed to the nines in public: Lily Pulitzer for our girl and Vineyard Vines for our little gentleman. But inside the White House walls, they'd still just be kids. Our well-trained pup would explore the White House as he pleased and greeted some of the 5,000 daily visitors. No, my life in the White House wouldn't be all that bad.

The hardest part about this new career goal is that there's not really an internship, previous job experience or interview process. I guess dates could be considered interviews, except I'm not applying for the position. I'd interview men to test their presidential potential. Lady Bird Johnson once said, "The first lady is, and always has been, an unpaid public servant elected by one person, her husband". Let it be known, I'm running.

As the first lady, I promise never to wear pantsuits like Hillary. In the event of a White House fire, I promise to pull a Dolley Madison and save all the historical artifacts. I will throw ragers in the White House like it has never seen before. Political leaders will want to help my husband just to stay on my invite list. But in all seriousness, I will entertain frequently and with class. I'll put my family first. I won't take any lavish trips to Spain. I'll keep my life scandal-free. I'll never disagree with my husband

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