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Gay at U.Va.: Part II

Is the University a welcoming place for its LGBTQ students?

Not even a decade ago, at University events like football games, where the "Good Ol' Song" was sung multiple times by a crowd of thousands, the lyrics "not gay" were often interjected into the second-to-last stanza of the song.

Known infamously as the "not gay chant," these words are no longer a presence at Scott Stadium. Through efforts of numerous student organizations, the tradition that was deemed ugly by most has finally gone out of style.

The popularity and eventual demise of the "not gay chant" tells a narrative not uncommon at the University. Although the University has become progressively more accepting of its lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer students and faculty, there have always been hurdles, both logistical and cultural, that the LGBTQ communities have had to face.

A rich history\nWhen Kate Ranson-Walsh came to the University as a College student in 1998, she immediately became active in the University's queer community. Her work with the University's Queer Student Union led to the founding of the University's LGBT Student Resource Center.

"I thought it was great that we had this history," Ranson-Walsh said. So she embarked on an academic journey that produced a 68-page thesis and a web archive chronicling the University's LGBTQ history. "I wanted to show that, actually, you are part of a long line of queers," she said.

That history is peppered with both struggles and victories.

Ranson-Walsh and Rod Davis, who graduated from the University in 1983 and now serves as president emeritus of the Serpentine Society, the University's LGBTQ alumni organization, recounted many of these moments, including when Bob Elkins became the first gay resident advisor in 1976.

"At that time LGBT life was locked away safely in the closet," Davis said. "As long as nobody did anything, everything was fine. He was one of the first people who really challenged the University."

Although Elkins was allowed to serve as an RA, he was forced to step down as a leader of what was then known as the Gay Student Union, Ranson-Walsh said. Elkins' story, however, brought together many minority groups on Grounds and engaged the student body, bringing LGBTQ issues to the forefront of University politics.

The GSU also prompted "Blue Jeans Day," an event in which students would wear blue jeans in support of the LGBTQ communities. While the event made it easy for students to show their support for the community, Davis said it also received some backlash from students. Kara Sheridan, who graduated from the University in 1983 and wrote about gay rights for The Cavalier Daily, recounted a similar tale. "Eighteen students signed a letter to the editor saying they had been 'humiliated' because they wore jeans by accident without knowing it was a sign of support and they felt tricked," Sheridan said. She said she and other students responded to the letters by writing letters of their own in support of "Blue Jeans Day."

Since the days of Bob Elkins, the University's LGBTQ communities have progressed substantially. The GSU, which was renamed the Queer Student Union years later, remains the oldest LGBTQ-oriented group in Charlottesville and has been joined by similar groups like Queer and Allied Activism, Sigma Omicron Rho - the University's first queer and allied co-ed fraternity - and groups aimed to serve graduate students, faculty and stuff.

An accepting community?\nBoth gay and straight students at the University have characterized its Grounds as a welcoming place for LGBTQ students - for the most part.

First-year College student Joe Leonard was impressed that the University took an outwardly accepting stance toward the LGBTQ communities during orientation.

"I felt like they had a place for me," he said, adding, "Compared to high school, the community seems much more accepting."

Other students expressed similar sentiments.

Apart from what he described as "a few awkward moments," third-year College student Jonas Creason, who underwent a female-to-male transition during his first year at the University, has had few negative experiences as a student at the University since undergoing his transition. "If you explain that you're a normal person, [other students] are fine with it," he said.

Straight students also seem to view the University as a safe place for LGBTQ students.

"One of my good friends is gay and I don't think he's run into any issues," first-year College student Alex Ham said.

Although some of the University's top administrators say the University values diversity, they also admit that not every group on Grounds stands with the University on that issue.

"We have many resources on Grounds that are geared towards making our community as safe as possible, and messages from all parts of the University that diversity is a value of the institution," said Joy Pugh, assistant dean of students and former program coordinator for the LGBT Resource Center. "At the same time, there is a reality that not all of our community members are supportive of LGBT people."

Allen Groves, associate vice president and dean of students, also noted the dichotomy on Grounds.

"It would be folly to assume that all students on Grounds are fully welcoming and accepting of their LGBT peers, but I believe the vast majority are," Groves said. Groves added that a generational gap relating to LGBTQ issues might also exist at the University. "That's what I love about this generation as opposed to my own: today's students are very comfortable with differences of many types," he said.

Ed Warwick, the current program coordinator for the LGBT Resource Center, said even though the University has many programs, policies and resources in place that suggest a strong value of diversity, the issue of whether or not a student feels safe and welcome as an LGBTQ student at the University depends on the student.

"Many students do feel comfortable and safe being out here," Warwick said. "However, there are certainly members of the U.Va. community that don't support the LGBT community."

The image of the University as a conservative, southern school, however, still remains a pervasive part of the University's culture, according to some students.

"I think that the image of a big southern school in general kind of has a bias against minorities. I'd definitely say there's more conservatism here and they're a little more\nopen about it," Ham said.

Other students acknowledged the role of convention at the University.

"U.Va. is really traditional and has rigid gender roles," said third-year college student Cindy Gray, who serves as co-president of the Queer Student Union. "To dress differently or act differently draws attention," she added.

Many LGBTQ students who feel on the "outside" of University culture often gravitate toward certain groups, while other students who identify as LGBTQ find their own social scene.

"It depends on the student and it depends on their personality," said fourth-year College student Max Krembs, who founded Sigma Omicron Rho. Krembs added that though there are certainly a number of students involved with queer-oriented organizations, that isn't necessarily the norm.

"There are people at U.Va. who are ignorant to the queer community and have a prejudice against us," Krembs said, "The thought is out there, and it's something I think we shouldn't pretend doesn't exist, but I do think it's something we should fight against."

Gay and Greek\nMany LGBTQ students expressed reservations toward the University's prominent Greek community.

"Greek culture is something I steer clear of," second-year College student Conor Sheehey said after recounting a story in which two of his friends were "thrown out" of a fraternity party last year because one of the brothers thought they were gay. "The fact that Greek life is so central to the social scene at U.Va., it makes it difficult," he said.

Sheehey's experience was not the only one of its kind.

"Everyone there is straight," Leonard said of fraternity parties. "You feel like an outcast, like the party isn't for you," he said. "In a society as big as U.Va., you're going to have different types of people. Not everyone is accepting, most would seem to be on Rugby [Road]."

Administrators acknowledge that throughout the years, the Greek system has become more sensitive to the gay community.

"Having been involved in the Greek system for many years now ... I have seen considerable change on this subject over the intervening years," Groves said, adding, "That said, I believe some Greek organizations on Grounds are far more welcoming to gay or lesbian students than many others."

At one point, the University even had a group of students organized around a gay and Greek identity, Warwick said. The group, called the Greek Men's Club, offered support for gay, bisexual and questioning Greek men. The group apparently disbanded, Warwick said, after its members "felt out and supported in their organizations."

The LGBT Resource Center has also worked directly with Greek organizations on Grounds, Warwick said. He added that panels of LGBTQ students and those knowledgeable about the University's "Safe Space" program - which gives individuals and organizations the opportunity to voice their support of the LGBTQ community - have reached out to Greek organizations on Grounds.

"We try to offer as much education on the community as we can to the Greek community, and some are quite receptive," Warwick said.

When it comes to being "out" and Greek, Warwick suggests that students find a house "that will support them and allow them to thrive."\nSome students have done exactly that. One such student is Ian Hollands, who graduated from the University in 2010 and was a brother in Delta Sigma Phi.

Although Hollands admits that coming out as a second year just after pledging was not the easiest experience, he said his relationship with his brothers improved as time went on.

"The response was anything but warm," Hollands said. "Some were actively accepting, some were actively rejecting, most were apathetic ... I expected them to accept me for what I had always known about myself, but which they had only known for a very short time," he said. "That was unfair of me."

But Hollands eventually saw a change in attitude. "They came around to be there for me in the end," he said, "just as I would be there for many of them throughout the coming years."

Hollands ultimately enjoyed a positive experience, but he admitted that his situation was probably unique.

"Although I don't for a second accept that there is not an abundance of gays in the Greek system, I think that few fraternities provide an environment which is conducive to coming out," Hollands said.

Although the University's administrators have worked toward creating a Greek system that is accepting of LGBTQ students, Hollands thought more needs to be done to change the Greek community's attitude toward LGBTQ students.

Hollands was also somewhat critical of organizations like the Greek Men's Club, despite being active in such groups while he was a student at the University.

"These groups do not work because their nature is antithetical to closeted and troubled gays, and furthermore, promises little to no anonymity or incentive to participating,"

Hollands said, adding, "You have to understand, the mind of a closeted gay is not a rational one: it is wrought with conspiracies and egocentrism that borders paranoia."

Dane Ferré, interim president of the Inter-Fraternity Council, also said the demand for such a group had been lacking in recent years and participation among its members had halted. However, Ferré said the IFC now has an opportunity to "determine how to meet the needs of gay, questioning or closeted men," to "facilitate a more inclusive and welcoming environment."

Ferre also recognized that while it is difficult to convey the attitudes of individual chapters, he is aware of many instances within the Greek system of gay men coming out as brothers within a fraternity. Ferre said the IFC is certainly in a position to learn from these experiences and to advance current educational resources such as safe space training.

Krembs, one of the founders of Sigma Omicron Rho, said the fraternity has started to fill a void in the LGBTQ communities, which had one organization that mostly focused on education and another that focused on activism, but did not have a group that focused solely on social activities.

"[My friend] saw a void in the community and wanted to create something more social. He had wanted to join the fraternity/sorority system when he was younger but didn't feel welcome in that community so much just because of the fact that he is a transgendered female to male," Krembs said.

While Sigma Omicron Rho currently runs as a contracted independent organization, Krembs said he hopes the organization will receive status within the Multicultural Greek Council in the near future.

Krembs also hopes that the organization will become a bridge between the LGBTQ communities and the general Greek population.

"One of our goals has been to reach out to the Greek community and bridge the gap between the Greek community and the queer community," Krembs said. "I know many people in the queer community don't interact a whole lot with the Greek community. I think that's something that would be a wonderful change, to have all of us interact with each other."

-Charlie Tyson contributed to this report.

Editor's note: This story is part of a three-part series about gay life at the University. Part III focuses on changes that some students believe need to be made moving forward. Part I discusses the University's support for LGBTQ employees.


Published September 6, 2011

Commentary

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dismayed
(09/06/11 10:15pm)
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anyone who went to the football game and was near the student section can attest to the fact that the "not gay" chant not only is still around, but is perhaps sung with more support than recent memory recalls. with respect to the authors, we are not even close to seeing this ill "go out of style"


Wahoo99
(09/06/11 11:19pm)
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Funny, I just had a conversation about the "not gay" chant with a friend this weekend (while watching the UVA game online). My last year, there was a movement to eliminate the chant at the last home game (where we whipped up on UNC). People wore buttons to support eliminating the chant. I don't recall it making much of a difference, but as someone who was just coming out of the closet, I was happy people were addressing it.

I've enjoyed watching the LGBT presence at UVA grow over the 12 years since I graduated from UVA. And a bit jealous it wasn't more open minded when I was there. Love reading these articles. Keep up the good work.


Juan
(09/07/11 12:19am)
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I am happy to report that the alumni in my section proudly shout "Not Gay" at the appropriate time during the singing of the Good Ole Song. I'm sure that our LGBT friends will support our freedom of speech. Just as it is incredibly important to support the rights of LGBT people to express themselves, so is it also important to allow people like me, who strongly disagree with those lifestyles, to shout out our disagreement with the "Not Gay" cheer.


Forrest
(09/07/11 5:05am)
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To Juan.... Yes we gay folks do indeed support your 1st Amendment right to display your ignorance to the top of your lungs so please feel free shout and scream your hate and bigotry. I find your ignorance amusing and at the same time sad. Time is on the side of equality no matter how much you shout. And by the way you show your ignorance even more by claiming being gay is a "lifestyle." That's like saying being "straight" is a lifestyle. Being gay is who I am just like being straight is who you are.


Wahoo2009
(09/07/11 12:47pm)
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Really? Someone ought to write an article Black at UVA; Hispanic at UVA; Women at UVA. There are real forms of discrimination out there. Being gay is a lifestyle. Unfortunately, being black, hispanic or a woman is not. To be honest, i knew a lot of gay individuals who did great at UVA. They don't have to face daily discrimination. The school and the students are very open to these individuals. And there are a lot of them. On the other hand, minorities such as blacks and hispanics have to deal with the racists everyday who see them as the next case of affirmative action. In the classroom no one gives a hoot if you are gay or not.

People are chanting "Not Gay". Well get over, honestly. There are worse things and why does it matter to you if you are gay? You shouldn't control how others think just as others shouldn't control how you act.

Im tired of hearing all this whining though. Being gay doesn't prevent you from doing things but color and sex certainly do. I'm sure if a gay boy wants to go out and get a job, they are not going to be racially profiled. People probably wont even know they are gay. How would they unless they flaunt themselves in an unnatural way? I can't even walk through a door without people thinking of me as another case of affirmative action. People actually don't get hired because of their skin color. There are plenty of gays in all professions. No one gave them a hard time.

All i hear from the gay community is how they have a hard time fitting in socially. Well, what do you expect? Are straight guys going to wanna really get close to you and buddy buddy? You are gay. There are people who actually have a hard time fitting in politically which is a tad more important. And yeah, you want marriage rights but I know a guy who wants to marry his cousin. He thinks it should be allowed. Should we allow it? Or how about polygamy. Should we allow that?

I salute you on your strong support at UVA. The Cavalier Daily is writing a 3 part article for you. I wish UVA were so accepting of different races and went out of their way to support blacks like they support gays. I have bigger problems than whether i fit into the Greek life at UVA or whether someone is yelling something i don't like at the football game. If these are your greatest inequalities, you should be thankful.


Marriage for All
(09/07/11 1:32pm)
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Wahoo2009,

Regarding marriage, yes we should allow cousins to marry and polygammy. As long as consenting adults agree, we should all have the right to marry whoever we please. It is not for you, society, or the government to decide. Marriage is about interpersonal relationships and no one else should have the legal authority to tell us who we can and cannot chose as our bond for life. I can't believe people that call themselves Americans are so quick to strip us of a right so basic: choosing who we want to spend out lives with.

Love,

Marriage for All


B
(09/07/11 3:41pm)
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You really make your point when you fail to spell "polygamy" correctly...

In any case, your view of marriage deviates in a very significant way from the historical view of marriage. The traditional view of marriage was based on legal and social norms, not interpersonal relationships, and in many places arranged marriages still take place. It is still common for people to marry for money or social status, even in the United States.

You may not agree with it, you might prefer the romantic notion that marriage is strictly about love and that people should have the right to marry anyone they love. At least be honest and admit that your view is neither universal nor common.


Joseph H Quintano, Ed.D. U.VA. 64 and 74
(09/07/11 4:21pm)
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I am so encouraged by the younger generations of young folks who set exceptional examples of citizenship towards members of any minority group.\nIts very evident that generation gaps exist, but the future is in the hands of generations to come. How things change. Bet on it. Nothing stays the same even at The University.


Sean
(09/07/11 4:47pm)
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It appears as though anonymous "Wahoo2009" is a black female alumni of UVA. So tell us Wahoo2009, what degree(s) did you get from UVA? What was your work experience when you graduated? What was your GPA?

Furthermore, have you heard of a program called "Access UVA?" There is indeed discrimination at UVA, but it is not directed at black females. It actually gives preferential treatment in admissions to people if they have darker colored skin than others.


Tim
(09/07/11 5:25pm)
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It also appears that Wahoo2009 is unfamiliar with the vast amount of neurological research that offers strong support against homosexuality as a lifestyle choice. And it is incredibly ignorant to suggest that gays are not discriminated in the workplace. "No one gave them a hard time." Really? There have been murders against homosexuals simply because some people define it as an immoral "lifestyle." I'm not comparing it to racial discrimination or violence against African Americans, but please don't just discount it or ignore it.


Sean
(09/07/11 6:07pm)
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Just don't dare ask them exactly when it was that they got their "gay gene" that they are so sure they have. You'll likely be shouted down unless you agree to throw the entire field of molecular microbiology in the garbage in favor of Lady Gaga's opinion.


Marriage for All
(09/07/11 9:45pm)
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B,

I would never claim that my views are universal or common; they are simply the most reasonable manifestation of the institution of marriage in a society that places such a high value on liberty and individualism. It is a vision for the future. A future that would be more in accord with what has made the USA exceptional from its inception.

Marriage for All


Marriage for All
(09/07/11 9:52pm)
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B,

By the way, do you know how hard it is to type on an iPhone while sitting on a bus?

Spelling polygamy wrong hardly discounts the point being made...was it really that hard to recognize "polygammy" as "polygamy"?

Marriage for All


Jenna
(09/07/11 11:08pm)
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What a thorough, well-written article. I applaud UVa and The Cavalier Daily for writing these series of articles. I hope actions like these can help eradicate the ignorance so clearly represented by some of these asinine comments.


Numbers
(09/08/11 12:40am)
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It is not the government's job to either grant or deny a marriage. B says "The traditional view of marriage was based on legal and social norms." That might be true in other societies, but not in America. Before about 1900, marriage was strictly a religious and family institution. The government didn't even get in the business of recognizing marriage until around 1900, and it was only for tax and insurance purposes. The problem with both sides of the argument here is that both sides want the government involved in marriage. Wouldn't it be nice if a gay couple could go get married at a church or religious place or family institution that is accepting of gay marriage? Wouldn't it also be nice if the straight guy could attend a strictly heterosexual church if he/she was against gay marriage? The idea that some bureaucrat or law should grant or deny what are personal choices is absurd. In a free society that values liberty, the government should not be involved in marriage. I don't want a law saying gay people can not't be married; I don't want a law that says gay people can be married; I don't want a law at all and I don't want the government involved in marriage. That, LIBERTY, is American. Ron Paul 2012.


Marvin Edwards
(09/12/11 4:35pm)
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Actually, it is up to government to define marriage. Originally, marriage was an ethical structure that society imposed upon mating. Marriage insured that the wife and offspring, both historically dependent upon the husband/father, would be cared for. Things have changed quite a bit since then.

Today, gay couples form families. And the lifetime commitment to one's partner is the same as to a spouse.

I would still hope to distinguish gay marriage from traditional marriage in some way. A "civil union" or "domestic partnership" would immediately get my vote. But the NY law is temptingly simple.

Here's my underlying issue. In the same fashion that gay men have in the past often married women, and had children (e.g. Episcopal Bishop Robinson), I believe it is also possible for straight men to be seduced into a gay relationship. And I think that is an unnecessary harm that will be a byproduct of failing to make some distinction.

I know, everybody says that would be impossible. That's the popular view. But that would ignore historical realities, like the Greeks.

I don't know how to resolve this issue. In the past there has been a socially instilled prejudice, but that prejudice has to go, and it is slowly disappearing. But it needs to be replaced with some objective viewpoint, one that recognizes the genetic/hormonal factors and keeps some distinction intact. One of the most common adolescent self-questions is "am I gay?". And if it is such a common question, how easy would it be to get the answer wrong?


Kyle
(09/13/11 11:20am)
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Gosh, glad I don't go to UVA. I thought the university was well-respected as a place of higher learning, but apparently, reading some of these comments, there is much learning still to be done. The notion that homosexuality is a "lifestyle" is absurd as is the notion that gays and lesbians don't face discrimination. That said, I imagine that other minority groups at UVA feel equally uncomfortable given the apparent support for bigotry and ignorance evidenced by some of these responses.

I will stick with my institutions of higher learning, both of which rank higher on the educational and the enlightenment scale than does UVA.


Ann
(09/13/11 2:11pm)
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Being gay is not a lifestyle. Furthermore, treatment of gays resemble the same disgusting and horrific treatment I observed given to blacks and jews during the 60s. I cannot believe that such an educated society continues to choose minorities to discriminate against and those who have been discriminated against, choose to pick on another minority group. It's shameful!


Marvin Edwards
(09/16/11 10:15pm)
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It's not the University. The state of Virginia has major issues with LGBT. They have not yet included sexual orientation in their hate crimes law. Their constitutional amendment to define marriage also prohibits other arrangements, like domestic partnerships. And not to forget, state AG Cuccinelli issued a statement earlier suggesting that UVa's inclusion of sexual orientation in it's anti-discrimination rules might be invalid. There's lots of work yet to be done. On the plus side, the city of Charlottesville and the University are liberal and support justice for all, regardless of sexual orientation.


Joe Leonard
(09/20/11 4:48pm)
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First off, I loved the article, and not just because I was in it :) But can I just say how discouraging it is to read some of these comments? I mean really, Juan? You are proud to say that your alumni shouted "not gay" in the middle of the Good Ole Song? What an idiot. I'm glad you are proud of the work you're doing shaming LGBT people for something they never chose. How would you feel if we said "Not mexican!" during the chant? Why don't we just say "Not Black!"? It's things like these that give kids the impression that the whole world is homophobic and that they can never be honest with themselves. I remember going to UVA football games when I was younger and hearing the "Not Gay" chant. How do you think that made me feel, a 12 year old boy who's just realizing he's gay? I hope when I went home and cried you felt really good about yourself. Good for you, making a difference in the world, making little kids cry one at a time. Maybe if you're ignorant enough you can cause some of them to take their own lives! I thought the older you were the wiser, but if an 18 year old kid like me knows more than some stupid alumni then I guess that must be wrong. And really Wahoo2009? Because I'm in Minority Squared, for queer people of color, and every one of them agree that they receive more discrimination for being gay than for being black, a woman, or any other race combined. Not that I don't care about the ever present racism in America, but if you're going to say that in this day and age gays are discriminated less than blacks and women, why don't you call me the next time someone denies you the right to get married, or hold a position of leadership in your church, or tells you you're going to hell for being black. People need to fight for everyone's rights, not just their own. So don't discount gays because you're straight. Or else we all might as well go back to Plessy vs. Ferguson.


Jeffrey Kerbel
(09/21/11 1:07am)
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Juan and Wahoo2009's posts are extremely disturbing, disappointing, and upsetting to me, for all of the reasons that have already been pointed out. I want to make one point clear, though. If you're going to talk about the First Amendment, and recognizing everyone's beliefs and experience, you have to mean it. You want to talk about dislike for the homosexual "lifestyle", about how you feel it is much tougher to be black? Awesome, go ahead. What this thread ultimately says to me, however, is that neither of you care about opposing viewpoints. I strongly suspect that both of you posted your comments and have not checked this page since. If you had, maybe you would realize that you ARE being unjust. Maybe you would stand by your original arguments. Yet you have given no indication that you've given this page any afterthought. You are both hypocrites. You are both ignorant. You both have no appreciation for understanding and learning. Who knows how you got into UVa, let alone graduated from here. I'm ashamed to share this institution with people the likes of you.

Of course, if you'd like to prove us all wrong, please write a response to what everyone here has said. But again, I doubt either of you will.


M
(11/24/11 10:51pm)
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Kyle: Glad you took the time to use a discussion on this article about life at the University to tell us all that you come from a greater place. If you're so superior, gtfo.



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