Dear Mr. Poe,
Let me start off by explaining that I’m a first year who went to a very modest and conservative high school. But, diving headfirst into this “new experiences” thing, I hooked up with this really awesome fourth-year at that Wertland Block Party. I really like him, and I feel like we had a pretty deep connection. There’s just one big problem — I don’t know how to track him down. Any advice?
Hope he didn’t hit it and quit it
Dear Hope he didn’t hit it and quit it,
Wertland Block Party is a night known for many different things, but establishing a meaningful connection after a 4 a.m. “tour of his apartment” isn’t exactly top of the list. That being said, there is the chance that you could be the exception. In between trying to convince your paranoid hall-mate that she’ll only get arrested if she steps on the street and shoving your way through the mobs of your drunk, beer-covered classmates, you could have met your soulmate! Unfortunately with a school of this size, you’re going to have to rely on fate if you want to see your mystery man again. If it’s meant to be, the universe will work it out. On Grounds, there are an endless number of ways you and your Block Party lover could be reunited: while trying to fight your way down the congested sidewalk during prime class times, while waiting in the hour-long line to get your dumplings or even while trying not to die in the precarious glass fishbowl the University decided they could call a dining hall. Don’t give up hope. And if there are any signs of it working out, book the Chapel now if you want to get married in the next 10 years.
Never say never,
I’m a second-year transfer who just got back from the Activities Fair. I came to U.Va. after attending a very small school that did not offer half as many activities as this school. I was so overwhelmed and confused‚ I ended up signing up for so many activities. My inbox is now flooded with information about clubs I have no interest in joining. How do I divide my time? How do I avoid these spammers?
Dear Overzealous Transfer,
The Activities Fair is like a jungle and if you don’t effectively navigate your way through all the conniving clubs trying to lure you in with freeze pops, free water (surprisingly effective) and an entire acre of the rainforest worth of colorful flyers, you’ll never see the bottom of your inbox again. Say no to the misguided sustainability organizations who are asking you to help save the environment by taking one of the flyers they mass printed on the very trees they are trying to save. And if you’ve never touched a lacrosse stick, don’t sign up for the competitive club team’s e-mail list. As much as you might want to, you can’t do everything. So pick a few clubs — about 12 for the average U.Va. student — that you are really interested in and give them your full energy and attention. And most importantly remember, you can always unsubscribe from listservs. That might be the single most important tool you can use to make it through the next few years.
Unsubscribe to survive,
I’m a first-year student from San Francisco. Needless to say, the U.Va. culture seems to be quite different than what I’m used to back home. I’m feeling homesick for my beloved California and don’t know what to do to adjust to life in dorms. Any suggestions on how to beat these homesick blues?
Homesick for Cali
Dear Homesick for Cali,
The best way to beat homesickness is to embrace the culture and traditions here. So go streak the Lawn with your hall-mates — nothing says effective ice breaker like public nudity — hit up Rugby Road on the weekends with a pack of 40 of your closest first-year friends, and fight off the other 12,000 painfully enthusiastic students to join the most clubs, attain the most leadership positions in those clubs and ultimately care the most about every issue that is going on in the world today — only then will you have reached extracurricular nirvana here at U.Va. Your family and life back home will always be there waiting for you, but you only get to spend four years stressed out, sleep deprived, starved from terrible dining hall food and still ready to rage from Thursday ‘til Sunday nights.
Party on little first year,
_Tell Edgar your problems at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Disclaimer: Edgar is not a medical professional nor a psychiatrist. Edgar listens to your problems and offers what he hopes are constructive comments. By taking his advice, however, you accept full responsibility for your own actions._