The Cavalier Daily
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Decisions that won't ever be made

How do you compare apples and oranges when you don't know what either tastes like?

One of the hardest parts of the transition to college from high school is our newfound responsibility to make decisions for ourselves. Granted, we had to make decisions in high school and in our adolescence, but the range of decisions was much more narrow — our lives were generally confined to a small realm within which it was hard to veer too far from the beaten path.

Along with many upperclassmen, I’m currently deciding what to do with my summer — actually, I may be riding the late bus on this one. Regardless, I’m stuck between two options, and I feel like I have hit a stalemate. I don’t know how I’m going to decide, and the uncertainty of my summer plans is making me anxious. Nobody likes an anxious Val.

How do we as individuals make these decisions that ultimately define who we are and how we live? How do we learn to cope with our new responsibilities as adults?

Sometimes I feel unequipped to handle the decisions thrown at me. I didn’t really know how to choose what college to go to or where to study abroad — and now I certainly don’t know which internship opportunity to seize, if either at all.

I look around at my peers and find comfort — even those who thought they knew exactly where they wanted to be or made very informed decisions after intense research are often in my same position.

My gut guides my decisions — so I have learned to accept that my life will probably not be a stream of well-articulated, rational choices. I’m just going to live my life and hope that what’s supposed to happen does happen. How else do you know what to choose?

I learned at a young age that there’s something inside me which guides me toward a greater good. I may not know why I am making a decision, or what that guiding force is, but I find comfort knowing things will end up all right.

I don’t make decisions — fate makes them for me. But even fate has its limitations. When I think again about how I need to decide on my summer plans by the end of the week, I realize fate won’t make that choice for me. I find myself in a circular, never-ending see-saw between going with my instincts and making calculated choices. It’s a limbo I never feel comfortable with and which will also prevent me from deciding when I should end this column — so I’ll just do it now.

Valerie’s column runs biweekly Tuesdays. She can be reached at v.clemens@cavalierdaily.com.

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