For my high school newspaper, I once wrote a column about how soccer moms with stickers like “my dog is smarter than your honor student” are ruining America. Upon entering college, I realized the world of preachy and aggressive stickers transcends the suburbs of Northern Virginia and has found a new home: students’ laptops. I am not opposed to the practice of decorating your Mac to distinguish it from the 5,000 identical computers around Grounds, but I find the trite proselytizing that emerges from this practice unnecessary.
One classic example is the bearded and bespectacled philosophy major who, after reading “Excerpts from Nietzsche,” decides to slap “God is dead” in big black letters on his computer as a challenge to anyone who doesn’t share his nascent beliefs. Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinions, but I take issue with the inherently one-sided debate of the sticker medium. I can’t exactly march over and start arguing metaphysics because of a harshly worded sticker. The only real option for a response is to order a slightly larger “Nietzsche is dead” sticker for my own computer, track down the offender in the library and subtly try to draw his attention to my response.
Even messages I agree with are pointless. If a stranger advertises they are in my same political party, that doesn’t mean they are welcoming me to walk over, shake their hand and start discussing fiscal policy.
The force behind the sticker platform is really best redirected to our social media presence. Facebook allows you to advertise your relationship status, political views and religious beliefs — all while serving as a convenient platform for photo sharing and event planning. Most of what people find “sticker worthy” can be covered with a well thought-out “basic information” page on Facebook.
Aggressive political diatribes make the perfect tweets or status updates. There is always the possibility someone will engage you in a 20-comment Facebook argument. At the very least, if nothing incites a response, social media allows you to publish your deeply held beliefs into a void where they can safely be ignored. Until stickers come with an “unfollow” option, sticker activists should start wording their arguments in fewer than 140 characters and take their views to a platform that encourages reaction.
I am not saying this because I want to silence everyone I don’t agree with, but rather because stickers represent real debate being replaced by petty, insubstantial pseudo-speech. There is nothing I enjoy more than heated discussions of religion, romance and politics, but profound discussion is being replaced by people voicing their beliefs in ways that don’t allow for response. There is nothing fun about silently watching a 20-cent sticker attack your deeply held beliefs and being unable to defend yourself.
Perhaps computer stickers do not need to be abolished completely — they could just be reformed somewhat.
I have no problem with people advertising their Greek letters, club affiliations or favorite book quotes. I can even tolerate a small donkey or elephant in one corner. The blank canvas is perfect for creative pictures that turn the apple into The Giving Tree or any other pleasant or nostalgic imagery. But when you want to change the world with some insightful political message, just think for a second: is a sticker really the best way?
Christian’s column runs biweekly Wednesdays. He can be reached at c.hecht@cavalierdaily.com.
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