In 2012, an innovative Clemson student created the National Tigers for Tigers Coalition. Students at schools with tiger mascots joined together across the country in a mission to save the tiger species. Students involved attend summits with tiger experts and advocates, raise awareness and educate the public in an effort to preserve their mascot.
My love for large cats makes me wish we were the Virginia Tigers, but alas, we are not. Cavaliers for Tigers doesn’t have quite the same ring, and according to my rudimentary research, only Walsh University and Cabrini College would join our coalition. With such a dismal representation of Cavaliers in the college playing field, it seems CavMan will have to find a different humanitarian future.
To explore CavMan’s charitable potential, we must define a cavalier. According to Google, there are four definitions.
First, a cavalier, in the historical sense, is a supporter of King Charles I during the English Civil War. Since the war didn’t end very well for Charles — spoiler alert, he was executed — using an alternate definition to discover CavMan’s new persona is probably the best route.
The second definition is “a small spaniel of a breed with a moderately long, non curly, silky coat.” CavMan can become a rescuer of Cavalier King Charles Spaniels from kill shelters. Maybe this is just what the University needs to provide the Puppies and Pumpkins event with actual puppies for once.
If adorable, angel-faced dogs aren’t CavMan’s forte, he could evoke the “courtly gentleman” definition of cavalier by opening up a Tom Haverford-inspired Rent-A-Swag on the Corner. For those who don’t watch “Parks and Rec,” Rent-A-Swag is a clothing store where you don’t just rent clothes, you rent swag as well.
With CavMan’s Rent-A-Swag, University students could finally attain the “courtly gentleman” look at a low-cost. If this isn’t the most genuine humanitarian effort out there, I’m not sure what is. Helping those most in need — the University males in their almighty struggle to find clothes besides khakis, wrinkled button-downs and Bean Boots — is a cause we can all support.
If CavMan doesn’t want to start a Rent-A-Swag, he has the fourth and final option of sticking with the definition that already defines our mascot: a cavalryman.
CavMan could start a club that teaches others about the historical figure of the cavalryman. Club members could look at mid-19th century paintings of men riding horses in their fights against the Seminoles. Or they could hold exhibitions at the Fralin and provide aged whiskey and roast mutton to make members feel sophisticated and ancient all at the same time — much like trusty ol’ Thomas Jefferson.
If Cav Man becomes the face of this club, I’m not quite sure we could still call him a humanitarian — except to those suffering from an urgent need for super-aged alcohol and a sense of elitism so rare at this University.
Regardless of what noble path CavMan chooses, we will all be here for him in solidarity. After all, that’s what being a Cavalier really means. Someone should probably contact Google and add that to the list of definitions.
Avery’s Column runs biweekly Wednesdays. She can be reached at a.moyler@cavalierdaily.com.
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