The Cavalier Daily
Serving the University Community Since 1890

The curse of the University

On feeling singularly inadequate

My suitemate walked into my room yesterday inquiring about unofficial transcripts. When asked why she needed to know, she replied, “I’m applying for a couple of government internships and a transcript is required.”

Shocked by her indifferent tone, my reply was something like, “So, you’re applying for a government internship… that would put you in the government… like the U.S. government?” My keen powers of deduction frightened her off, and she left in search of someone who might actually know how to obtain said transcript.

I sat in silence for a moment, uncomfortably aware of the picture we painted. She was determined, ambitious and looking toward the future, wearing business casual for an upcoming presentation, with her hair in a neat bun. I was wearing pajamas at 3 p.m., watching Netflix and finishing my second hot pocket in 15 minutes. Come to think of it, I’m pretty sure my shirt was even sporting a pizza sauce stain.

Feeling inadequate isn’t unfamiliar to me, nor is it — I am sure — unfamiliar to many other students at this university. To put it simply, we go to a school of overachievers. After the initial excitement of admission to the University fades, the fear sets in. You begin to wonder if you’re truly good enough, or if you’ll end up being the least intelligent person here.

This is the University’s curse, which falls upon you the minute you decide to attend. It is a fear of being surrounded by people more intelligent and ambitious — and the feeling that you will never reach your true potential. During my first couple of weeks at the University, I avoided speaking in seminars in case I said something stupid. I viewed fellow students as competitors and mentally lined up extracurricular activities that would make me look better. I didn’t realize extracurriculars should be done for intrinsic, not extrinsic, value.

Fortunately, the curse can be broken. All you have to do is tell yourself you deserve to be here. Tell yourself nothing worth having is given freely, and you earned your place here just like everyone else. If a lack of involvement is your problem, find something you love — not something you think you have to do.

Learning to speak up in class and joining organizations like The Cavalier Daily has made me realize that while there is some competition, fellow students are not competitors. They are people who opened themselves up to opportunities and found their niche. Like me, they are here to learn, experience and succeed. They are confident in themselves and they too have to shake off feelings of inadequacy. They have broken the curse — and so have I.

Abigail’s column runs biweekly Wednesdays. She can be reached at a.lague@cavalierdaily.com.

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