“College has changed you,” my friend said with disgust.
Upon hearing these words, I was immediately ashamed. I felt like one of those girls from high school who reinvents herself and suddenly gets judged for being “fake” or “trying too hard.” I thought by changing without realizing I had somehow let myself down. In my head, change was bad was an indication of weakness or vanity.
What went wrong? I wondered. Did I try too hard to fit in and completely lose myself in the process? Was I a hypocrite? Throughout Winter Break, I spent precious time worrying about what type of person I had become.
I believed I was shallow for wearing the “preppy” clothes I used to disdain. I thought I was a quitter for changing what I had originally wanted to do with my life. And finally, I worried I was lazy because grades are no longer almost a matter of life and death to me, as they were in high school.
It wasn’t until I spoke with my friend from out-of-state that I realized nothing had gone wrong; it had gone right. A graduate student many years my senior, my friend and I previously struggled to find the common ground. But I’ve been through new experiences at school, and so have new perceptions as a result.
At the end of break, I headed back to the University with a lighter heart and a new understanding that college is a transitory phase in life during which I should undergo positive changes. If I came in with a closed mind, I never would have shed my high school mentality — and let’s be honest, can any of us bear to stay our high school selves forever?
When I arrived back on Grounds, my friends pressured me to rush. I freely admit to having my own prejudices against sororities before the process began. I spent hours agonizing over the decision to continue or quit before it even started — but with break’s lesson in mind, I decided to stick with it. If I didn’t allow myself to experience rush, I would have lived with blind animosity toward a community I did not understand.
Two days in and I’m happy with my decision. Though tired and in desperate need of a nap or a foot massage, I have realized there are facets of the Greek community I wasn’t aware of. I met a number of welcoming women who do not resemble the clichés you see in the movies, and enjoyed sharing their experience with newcomers. I do not know yet if I will join them, but I will never see the Greek community in the same way.
A year ago, I wouldn’t have rushed and would have remained comfortably prejudiced. But the University has changed me in ways I continue to discover every day. The next time someone angrily says I have changed, I won’t be ashamed. Instead, I will proudly state, “Yes. Yes I have.”
Abigail’s column runs biweekly Wednesdays. She can be reached at a.lague@cavalierdaily.com.
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