From the start of its lackluster publicity pushes, “Jupiter Ascending” failed to live up to its promise to be one of the biggest sci-fi blockbusters of the year. Instead, the movie turned out to be a failed attempt at creating a sci-fi universe, with a plot so thin and disjointed that it could only be poorly masked by its obtuse script. The saving grace of the film comes only from the eye-candy that is Mila Kunis, Channing Tatum and Eddie Redmayne.
What the movie lacks in substance, it almost makes up for in superficial visual effects. “Jupiter Ascending” is definitely one of the most visually spectacular movies released in recent memory. The color and detail of the universe is on par with “Guardians of the Galaxy,” and the film’s representation of space is beautiful
The lack of depth of the characters does the film no favors. Throughout, one wonders if a meaningful connection will develop with any of the characters — it does not. Mila Kunis’ rags-to-riches character Jupiter Jones is one of the most mundane “heroines” in history. Channing Tatum plays Caine Wise, a half dog/half man soldier who inevitably falls in love with Jones. Wise’s background is never really explained, but he has very cool anti-gravity boots, so that’s a plus. Eddie Redmayne plays Balem, the eldest child of an “evil” royal family from outer-space and a psychotic killer.
The plot of the movie is almost fascinatingly convoluted. There are so many concepts in the film’s universe that it would take several years of schooling to understand them all.
Another headache comes with the opening chase scene when Caine first comes for Jupiter. It lasts a ridiculously long time. Several minutes of high speed chases over the city of Chicago is something the horrid “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” did not even dare attempt. After such dizzying array of explosions, it becomes clear that the film places excessive visual effects well ahead of meaningful storytelling.
The most tragic thing is that “Jupiter Ascending” had so much potential. The basic underlying story is one that could have been developed into something magical. With such a star studded cast, one would think the acting would be better; sadly, every performance is an incredible disappointment. The one exception is Sean Bean’s small role, who turns out to be the only refreshing character in the story. With too many flaws to count, “Jupiter Ascending” is a bona fide flop.
That said, if you love cheesy DMV jokes, interspecies relationships, unnecessary backside nudity and a quivering Eddie Redmayne, this movie is perfect for you.
Rating: ½ star
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