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The roommate survey

What type of questions actually determine compatibility?

I can’t be alone in thinking the University’s current roommate survey just doesn’t cut it. I, like many others, resorted to Facebook to meet my future roommate. This approach — which can aptly be described as a form of online dating — albeit successful for me, has its risks. In order to avoid some common problems, here are a few questions that should be added to the roommate survey.

What is your alarm clock? If it sounds like an alien spaceship landing or a Tiny Tim song, this just isn’t going to work out. Your alarm clock is basically my alarm clock, so it better be a good one. When you have an 8 a.m., I have an 8 a.m., and if I’m being woken up against my will, it better be to the sweet sounds of the ocean or a soothing Jack Johnson song.

Do you talk in your sleep? This one comes with a follow-up question: if so, is your sleep speech creepy or funny? My first-year roommate talked in her sleep and it was absolutely hilarious, so this can be an asset. One night, she said, “You can’t be perfect 100 percent of the time. You need some time to breathe.” Not only was this funny, but it was motivational. If your roommate is going to have a full-fledged conversation with no one at 4 a.m., the least she can do is make it entertaining for you.

What perfume or cologne do you wear? If there’s a person you don’t get along with and they have a very particular scent, there’s a high probability you will hate the next person who shows up with that scent.

Do you enjoy taking a million pictures and posting them on social media? This can be a blessing or a curse. It’s nice to have a friend who posts a lot of pictures of you on social media and makes it seem like you have friends — this is especially crucial when your high school friends stalk you to see if you’ve gained the freshman fifteen. However, this can be a curse for people who cringe at the sight of a camera. Some of us don’t translate well into 2-D, and for these people, the picture-crazed roommate is not the best fit.

What posters are you going to put on the wall? For my first-year roommate and I, the problem wasn’t which posters should we put up, but how many One Direction posters we could fit in one room. Incoming first years don’t have to worry about this now that Zayn has jumped ship, of course. However, it might not be a great fit if your side of the room is covered with Black Sabbath posters and your roommate has Taylor Swift posters and pictures she takes of cute dogs she sees while out picking daisies.

Are you known to be a loud chewer? If so, how often do you eat almonds, gum or crunchy peanut butter? Secretly hoping your roommate chokes on the piece of candy she is chewing is no way to cultivate a friendly relationship. There is no polite way to say, “The way you chew makes me want to throw up right here, right now.”

Do you do any questionable things when you are drunk? My friend’s first-year roommate peed on his clothes any time he got drunk. This seems quite unpleasant to me, and something I should definitely be forewarned about. Perhaps, if he had known ahead of time, my friend could have purchased adult diapers for him. Or maybe he could’ve just gotten a different roommate.

What is your policy on sharing snacks? I would hate to walk into the room and see my roommate chowing down on the chocolate bar my mom sent me for Easter. However, if my roommate just got a fresh batch of cheeseballs, I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to dig in. Once the snack-sharing rules are established, living with a roommate should be a breeze.

Avery’s column runs biweekly Wednesdays. She can be reached at a.moyler@cavalierdaily.com.

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