Asking someone how he or she is doing is a pretty standard part of any conversation. Whether it comes as an effort to catch up with a distant friend over coffee, or is thrown casually over a shoulder to an acquaintance passing by on the Corner, it’s a question I ask dozens of times a day. As the semester draws to a close, I’m finding this question elicits an equally standardized answer — we’re stressed.
A stressor can be anything from roommate troubles to pressure to apply for majors to May-terms or study abroad — but it is usually summed up by the all too familiar refrain of, “I really can’t wait for Thanksgiving break.”
This week, a friend of mine reminisced about feeling this way last year, chalking it up to new experiences and looking forward to Thanksgiving break as an escape. She said this year she felt she should be adjusted, and not be so burnt out.
I assured her she is not alone in those concerns. At one point I found it very easy to convince myself that as a second year, I’d finally have it all together — especially when compared to how lost I felt during the beginning of first year. But in reality, the differences between first and second years are so great, there is little that the former does to prepare students for the latter.
Living in an apartment is nothing like living in a dorm. Last year, a room could conceivably be divided down the center, and each roommate was responsible for her own half. In an apartment, roommates must address the concept of “shared space” and whose job it is to clean it, how frequently it should be cleaned, and whether or not it’s ok for someone to watch Netflix without headphones. While my dorm room was my home last year, that ownership did not come with any of the responsibility that living in an apartment does.
Furthermore, the stress of enrolling in classes is particularly fresh as a second year. Friends of mine are fighting tooth and nail to get into their last major pre-requisite, only to have to apply to that same major in a few months. On top of that, students face the first rounds of study abroad or May-term applications, as well as various other programs they’re expected to join if they want to be seen as “competitive.”
It’s no wonder that the same need for escape that plagued us when we were lost first years is back with a vengeance. Oftentimes, the sense of accomplishment that accompanies the survival of first year can set students up to believe that there is only smooth sailing ahead of them. And subsequently, that is accompanied by a belief that the stress we feel is unjustified.
Each year at the University will bring new challenges. It doesn’t matter how confidently you conquered those of the previous year, there are going to be moments when you feel like you have nothing in your arsenal of experience to help you. It’s okay to feel like you don’t have everything under control all the time. Chances are, most of your friends are in the same boat. We all really can’t wait for Thanksgiving break.
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