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Second-year going on fourth-year

Finding enjoyment in the present

It’s been almost exactly one month since I officially earned the title of “second-year,” yet it feels like it’s been only a few days. As I try to recollect the fall semester of my first year, it almost seems like another life I lived. I remember looking forward to the first home football game, then fall break, Halloween-themed parties, Thanksgiving break, Lighting of the Lawn and finally, the end of finals week. Waiting for these things seemed to take forever, but as a second-year, I’m not really looking forward to them. I’m still trying to comprehend how fall break is right around the corner and Halloween is a few weeks later. I’ve realized my sense of time has become more and more warped while in college, and it isn’t slowing down for me to catch my breath and take in and appreciate my place as a second year here.

Half of me wants to savor every second of this year, but the other half wants to skip into my future as a fourth-year. Now that the novelty of first year is over, I’m afraid of getting too complacent and accustomed to the daily activities of a U.Va. student. I’m picking up right where I left off last year, so I don’t feel like I’m experiencing anything new or different. And having become desensitized to the life of a second year, I’m curious what my fourth year experience will be like. I’m surely going to know what major I would be studying, which is exciting to know, and I’ll — hopefully — be wiser and more mature, knowing all of the nooks and crannies of U.Va. Best of all, I can’t wait to see all my peers in my Class of 2019 as fourth-years, prospering in whatever niche they’ve settled into and leading underclassmen.

But I always have been more of a guy who treasures the means more than the ends. It has been difficult to keep my stamina up recently and the days are moving more quickly. No one ever told me post-first year would feel so ephemeral, so as soon as I noticed the fleeting nature of my time in college, I decided to buy a small, bright yellow journal to document every day in order to appreciate my time here.

This journal is my solution to reaching my fourth year in an exciting way. In the past, I’ve tried to keep diaries, but this journal is a little bit different. Instead of starting off with a salutation such as “Dear Brandon” and documenting every single boring facet of my day-to-day life, I simply write highlights of my day, to-do lists and passing thoughts in this little book. It has been two weeks since I purchased this book, but already I look back on my previous entries with a smile and remember the blurry days I’ve gone through. As a fourth-year, when I’m less focused on exploring the University, and I’m reflecting on my time here, I hope to grin as I read through countless pages of distant times when I wanted to become a fourth-year.

I really didn’t want to write a cliché piece about my transitioning into second year, but I decided it’s an obligatory rite of passage as a columnist. Although the beginning of my second year has been a lot less exciting than my first year, I think I’ve settled comfortably into this University and now can spend the rest of the year trying to find the enjoyment in the present.

Fourth year can wait.

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