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It’s not what I expected

The jarring reality for new students on Grounds

“It’s not what I expected,” a voice said from down the hall.

It was a lanky student, huddled by an isolated stairwell in New Cabell; the student cradled a cellphone to his cheek and fidgeted with the hem of his ‘CLASS OF 2020’ t-shirt. As I entered the stairwell, the student averted his red-rimmed eyes to the floor and remained silent. There were several things I wanted to say to that struggling student, but, in that exact moment, I could not find the words for any of those things.

I blanked.

I was struck by the student, by the scene and was unsure how to react — after all, the encounter was new and emotional and personally significant. As a new transfer, what information did I have that would reassure the student? In a split-second — the time it took to walk from the door’s threshold to the staircase — I came to the conclusion that I had nothing to offer. Against my better judgment, I pushed past the student and carried on.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for this,” the first-year student continued, after I reached the top of the staircase. “I’m not sure what to do.”

It was a split-second decision that left me feeling guilty and heart-wrenched for days.

As it turned out, however, this occurrence was not rare. I have crossed paths with three other students in hauntingly similar circumstances — all were tucked in the lower-levels of buildings, all held a cellphone to their ear and all fought the urge to melt into an incoherent puddle.

With each chance encounter, I grew more competent and comfortable around these strangers. It started off as a small smile. It was not much, admittedly, but a form of acknowledgment. It grew into small pats and ended in small chats, but, when you get down to the real nitty-gritty bits, the mere effort of anything made a difference to these students.

Either way, it isn’t difficult to pinpoint the cause of such stress — the adjustment.

New classes. New people. New routine. New expectations.

It’s difficult, adjusting to the newness of things, particularly when those things feel a lot like everything. It’s an occupational hazard. It’s a hard reality for students.

While these back-to-school adjustments faze all students to a certain extent, first-year students have it twice as hard — the general newness of everything, compounded with the competitive culture of our academics. As a new transfer student, I often feel the same struggles of a first-year student.

I’m in new classes. I’m meeting new people. I’m learning a new routine. I’m attempting to juggle a colorful assortment of new expectations — good grades, proud parents and the frantic search for fellow students to call friends. Despite my status as a third-year student, I’m learning the ropes of Wahoo life like every other first-year and adjusting accordingly.

I understand firsthand how difficult this transition is and how expectations pull students in a hundred directions all at once. Not only that, but I understand the stress that accumulates on our shoulders — our heap of assignments in our backpacks, along with our subpar tests and our thick textbooks and our knowledge that graduate school isn’t guaranteed. It is a lot of pressure, but there is also a kind of beautiful art to it, something that all students learn with time — learn to breathe under the pressure, learn to lighten the load.

The trick, you see, is to stay focused on the big picture and to understand that everything will improve with time. Keep going with an uncompromised work ethic and the same determination that admitted you — a student, fellow Wahoo, a member of our close-knit community — into our school.

Like all things, it will come.

In the meantime, I will continue to work hard and I will continue to remind myself — and other students new to U.Va. — to breathe under the pressure.

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