“Fifty Shades Darker,” the long-awaited sequel to its softcore porn predecessor “Fifty Shades of Grey,” was released Friday. On opening night, viewers flocked to theaters to determine if the second movie could be as buzz-worthy as the first — a cinema spectacle known for bringing kinkiness out of the bedroom and into the public. Theater crowds consisted of couples, singles, gaggles of girls and even groups of grown men all shamelessly relishing in the novelty of a film that so unabashedly explores sexual topics we tend to label taboo.
Unfortunately for fans of the book series — or simply for those who were looking to see a saucy movie — “Fifty Shades Darker” was a dud in nearly every capacity. From the lousy acting to the ridiculous script, the movie had audiences laughing at what were meant to be gasp-worthy, engaging scenes.
Right off the bat, the film seemed to take itself far too seriously, playing dramatic, melancholy music within the first minute as leading lady Anastasia (Dakota Johnson) mourns the absence of her former lover, Mr. Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan).
Fear not, though, Anastasia sympathizers, for after just one sad Coldplay song and a few minutes of empty plotline, Grey makes a rather underwhelming reentry into Anastasia’s life. For those who admire a strong, independent woman able to resist the temptations of abusive (and psychotic) ex-lovers, Ana’s succumbing to Grey within about 20 seconds of conversation is rather disappointing.
But feminist critiques aside, the movie continued to go downhill. Not only was Johnson’s acting cringeworthy and lacking fervor in scenes outside the bedroom, the actress couldn’t even seem to muster the passion for the much-anticipated sex scenes. And let’s face it, the sex is what people came for. That admitted, is it so wrong to complain that there simply weren’t enough sex scenes to begin with?
Johnson’s counterpart Christian Grey was no better at feigning chemistry — creating nearly laughably awkward tension between the two. Dornan didn’t seem able to capture the effortless alpha male swagger or suaveness that Grey’s character is meant to possess, nor could he bring any emotion to the ludicrous script. The entire time it seemed as though Dornan wished he could be somewhere else — anywhere else — with anybody else.
While a main plot point of the film is meant to revolve around finding out more about Grey’s mysterious background, it was like pulling teeth to try to figure him out. Once his past was finally illuminated, viewers had no reason to care, and it did not advance the storyline in any way. No matter how shocking Mr. Grey’s stories were, Anastasia’s only reaction was to emit a stiff, delayed gasp and then have sex with him.
When Dakota and Dornan weren’t in the bedroom exploring their admittedly beautiful bodies, the film was chock-full of nothing. At many points, it seemed as though director James Foley desperately wanted to save audiences from boredom — trying hard to make the movie a thriller by throwing in mysterious characters and unnecessary plot lines. The resulting air of ridiculousness was nearly comical.
Dakota’s charmingly awkward one-liners were not enough to save this sinking ship. Fans can only hope the third installment of this franchise will be an improvement.
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