We joke that as college students, we can have good grades, sleep or social lives — conditional, of course, upon never having all three. If you’re lucky, you may be able to manage academics, friends and wellness with ease. But add on a fourth category for extracurriculars and nothing is guaranteed; at no point over the past three years did I ever come close to striking a healthy balance.
The question we should ask ourselves, though, is whether the choices we’re making are worth it. We’re told academics come first and that we should be getting double the amount of sleep we actually do. We see our friends somehow making it to the gym seven days per week while fearlessly leading anything and everything. We try to live up to the “work hard, play hard” reputation we’re given as students at this University. But there are only so many hours in a day, and frankly, I’m just not that efficient of a person.
Managing The Cavalier Daily has certainly been unique. Work days start at 3:30 p.m. and often don’t end until 2 a.m. the next morning. There is, in fact, an actual person who puts together the daily e-newsletter you receive at an ungodly hour five days per week. We don’t get funding from the University, and we do pay rent for our space. And while I loved my time on the paper, there were certainly moments when I wasn’t sure if I was making the best decision for me.
Yet year after year, I persisted.
Looking back at first-year me, I’m not entirely sure how I did it. Perhaps it was an underlying desire to not let anyone down, or simply pure stubbornness to prove that a first-year could do the job. But self-doubt and motivations aside, I’m glad I kept going; I’m glad I didn’t give up.
Three managing boards and countless polaroids later — thank you, Dani — I am left with experiences and friendships I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. I’m fairly certain I’ll never again set an alarm for 1:45 a.m. just to go to IHOP, or live off of candy in the way I did in the basement of Newcomb. I’ll always remember furiously taking notes at press conferences, caring perhaps too much about student politics and, despite overwhelming internet advice advising against, reading thousands of comments in the midst of the fallout of Rolling Stone. But these things, in some ways, are expected; these things are part of the job.
Many of my favorite moments at this University are connected in some way to my time with the paper; the same can also be said for my hardest. It’s difficult to articulate why we do what we do, especially when all others really know is that we live and breathe Cav Daily. But that’s just it — we live and breathe the pages and page-views of the paper together. My experience would have hardly been the same without late-night Cookout runs or collective hysterical laughter after finding out that every member of the first all-female managing board cried within the first week of the term. As a member of this paper, I had always felt that I had the support of those around me — and really, that’s all that matters.
There are times at which I try to picture what my college experience would have looked like without this organization, and, put simply, I can’t. To the members, past and present, of the organization we irrationally love; to the 125th, 126th and 127th managing boards; to Allie, for dragging me to that fateful information session in 2013; to my wonderful friends who put up with my admittedly insane schedule; to all of the people who shaped the past three years of my life — thank you. Thank you for being there, and thank you for believing in me.
During my time on the paper, I wasn’t a perfect student. I didn’t go to the gym nearly as much as I wanted to — although, let’s be honest, who does? — and I never regularly got the right amount of sleep. My efforts at having it all were less than successful — but honestly, that’s fine by me. What I’ll take with me are the countless moments in which this experience was totally worth it. And even remembering the times in which I wasn’t so sure, just knowing I was surrounded by people who cared about me (and, in times of stress, cared enough to ask how I was really doing) will remain what matters most.
For the first time in a long time, I can take a break without feeling guilty and leave my inbox unmonitored for more than two hours at a time. Retirement is a great thing, but it will never beat who I met or how much I learned over the past three years. This experience wasn’t at all what I thought it would be; realistically, I’m not entirely sure I knew what I was getting into.
But was it worth it?
Unequivocally, yes.
Lianne Provenzano was the 125th Operations Manager, 126th Operations Manager and 127th Chief Financial Officer of The Cavalier Daily.
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