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Three lessons from first year

Public bathrooms, golden grahams and leeches

As this is my last column of the year, it seems inevitable to write a clichéd “What I’ve Learned from First Year” column. I don’t wish to disappoint, so here it is:

What I’ve learned from first-year:

1. The art of pooping in public bathrooms: how to embrace the cringe-worthy parts of ourselves

I’m just going to cut the pansy small talk. Through all the college-prep pep talks I got, no one prepared me for the awkward and painful reality that is pooping in public toilets. In your first year, there truly is no private bathroom. You know the game — trying to time it so no one will be in the bathroom at the same time as you. Waiting in the stall until someone leaves so you won’t reveal your identity as the “noisy one.”

Learning to be okay with my own bodily functions is something I haven’t ever really had to come to terms with in the comfort of my own candle-scented bathroom. Yet there is something to say about embracing even our most potentially offensive and cringe-worthy aspects of ourselves. Letting others into even the most private and dirty aspects of our lives is simultaneously awful but freeing. There is no shame, friends. There is no shame.

2. The value of Golden Grahams: how to be satisfied with what has been given to you

After living overseas for a number of years, one of the things I was most excited for coming back to the U.S. was American cereal. This might seem trivial, but imagine going six years without Cinnamon Toast Crunch or Honey Nut Cheerios. I could get these cereals if I was desperate, but it would cost me $10 to $12 and often the cereal would be stale.

You can imagine my excitement then, when I walked into O-Hill and saw a beautiful array of the best, most sugary American cereals. I filled my square bowl to the brim with Cinnamon Toast Crunch, giggling like someone had just handed me Christmas in a cup. However, I noticed the taste of the cereal had changed just a little bit. This Cinnamon Toast Crunch just doesn’t taste quite as crunchy as I remember. I looked at the sign on the cute cereal dispenser and saw a tacky yellow sign reading “Golden Grahams.” At first I was horrified. What is this off-brand nonsense? Surely, the University can afford some real “crazy squares.”

After a few bowls though, I realized Golden Grahams had its own unique values. It was a little less sweet, a little heartier and even had its own unique-honey nut flavor. It took some getting used to but I’ve come to be grateful for the introduction of this never-before-experienced cereal. Now, I can confidently say that Golden Grahams has made it on my list of “Pretty Decent Cereals.”

3. Leeches and puzzle pieces: how I realized I’m not all that unique

In high school, I was pegged as the overachieving, perfectionist nerd, so I was grateful to realize then that everyone at U.Va. is somewhat of an overachieving, perfectionist nerd. At first, this realization that I wasn’t the “smart one” at my school anymore was a little bit of a jolt. I had very finely wrapped my identity in that title, and to have to share that with thousands of other students was a little disorienting. After a while, though, it became such a blessing. I didn’t have to explain to my friends why I actually liked going to class or pretend to not care about the circulatory system.

Yet, overwhelmed by the sheer number of people, I went from Alyson Lee to an anonymous body in a crowd. Looking around at the people around me, I couldn’t see my piece of the puzzle fitting in anywhere. The idea that I didn’t really fit in at U.Va. clung to me like a leech, a constant sucky feeling slowly eating me inside.

As I opened up to the people around me, I realized that I was not alone in feeling alone. Countless other first-years and upperclassmen talked about how hard it was their first semester of college. They all assured me though that with time and patience they all found their homes here. Already I feel my puzzle piece slowly settling into the picture of U.Va.

All this to say, college has taught me to embrace the ugly, unsightly parts of myself and not be ashamed of them. It has taught me to be satisfied and even excited by what I have been given. And most of all it has taught me that I am not as unique as I thought, and that has been such a blessing. 

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