Top 10 problems I hope are universal

Nothing is more problematic than being at an uncomfortable temperature

1. Lightly falling apart without things from home

I am not afraid to admit that I have a large dependency on material objects — they’re always comforting, always accessible and always reliable. However, when they are 175 miles away, they can be none of these things. I have already crammed about as many sweaters as is appropriate for the 15 feet by 11 feet box that is my home at the University, yet I am still left on a cold day with no clean sweaters and a box of them mocking me from my home in the more temperate 757 area. Speaking of temperature-related woes, I greatly miss my electric blanket. There were many late nights in the high school era of my life in which I was convinced that the thermal energy from my blanket actually converted to kinetic energy in the form of my productivity. Unfortunately, my dorm’s temperature is as erratic as the weather in Charlottesville. So, I have probable cause to believe that the use of an electric blanket might set me on fire, and I am not yet desperate enough to bring one to the library. The day is imminent, however, when the need for comfort will be too great for my willpower to withstand.

2. A car is more essential to my well being than I had realized

While I appreciate the vending machines that populate most buildings, food is difficult to come by when you’re studying past midnight and are sadly bereft of a vehicle. Pita chips are great, but sometimes, I need more than surprisingly crispy chips to keep me functioning. I miss being able to hop in my car and drive to Wendy’s whenever I was feeling the urge to fling a book across the room. There are just some things a car can afford me that Clemons cannot — a will to live, for example.


3. Walking is a severely draining activity

I wouldn’t say that I hate walking, but I do despise it. A distinction that is important because hate reads passively and my distaste for walking is very much active. There are multiple days in a week when I have to make a walk that is supposed to take 15 minutes in five minutes and end up out of breath and largely disoriented in class. These are two things that are not very conducive to learning — or really anything. Not to mention, I end up carrying all my books around with me in an effort to reduce the amount of walking I have to do, which seems to ironically exacerbate the negative effects of walking — something I am trying to avoid. It’s not the activity itself that is a problem, but rather the necessity of it. I can’t do anything essential like eat or go to class if I don’t commit to a substantial walk of some sort. Why should I have to walk 20 minutes just to buy grapes? And why is everything on a subtle incline?

4. My coffee dependency is not flourishing as expected

College is supposed to propel my coffee dependency into the stuff of legends, is it not? Why then on most days do I not have any coffee at all? I blame proximity and a general lack of motivation. My tastes are unfortunately specific when it comes to this particular beverage, and I can only bring myself to sip the easily accessible but equally terrible coffee they parade around the dining halls. The coffee that could truly hook me is far, far away on the Corner, along with most things.

5. The Corner is such a journey

To be honest, there are multiple times in which I have made it halfway to the Corner and given up around Alderman. The Corner holds so many good things — food mostly — but the distance lessens its appeal. I have only recently discovered how amazing Bodo’s is because by the time I drag myself all the way to the Corner, I collapse in Starbucks with a pile of work and a cappuccino in hand. Having said this, now that I know that Bodo’s is that great, I may have to make that sacrificial journey for the promising reward of a bagel.

6. Health has gone from gradually declining to nonexistent

I am not certain how many hours I have slept this week, but it’s nice to be able to blame this on an illness as opposed to my general lethargy. Of course, it would also be nice if I did not have to sleep so much due to the demands of my temperamental health. I go through spurts of taking vitamins, but I have low faith that they are really doing much of anything besides making my hair grow at an annoying rate. Either way, it seems that the glow of health has forsaken me.



7. My mom parties harder than I do

It is 2 a.m. on a Friday night, and I am in bed writing this article while my mom has yet to return home from our neighborhood watering hole. Even when I do go out, I’m back in my dorm by a crisp 1 a.m. I just find that parties get creepier as they progress, and I tend to get wearier of the noises and general filth. The floors are always sticky, and I am afraid to know why. While it seems like a good idea to dance my problems away per Meredith’s advice on Grey’s Anatomy, walking all the way to a germ-infested rave seems like a lot of work.   

8.  Deadlines elude me

I have sent far too many apologetic emails to my professors, explaining that I missed the deadline and Collab — being the pernicious foe that it is — will no longer allow me to submit it. My professors are always very understanding, but this really does happen an alarming amount of times especially considering that I have only been at the University for a few months. I even missed the deadline for this article, but since my editors are kinder than Collab, I am hoping for amnesty.



9. Comparing myself to others often leads to me falling asleep

It seems inevitable that we all crave to know how other people are doing so we can see how we rank on the scale of success. However, it does not do to dwell on another’s A+, for it often sends me spiraling into the sweet comfort of a nap which I’m sure is not helpful for my grades. One malignant individual even lies about his grades to enjoy the baffled, doubtful and slightly defeated looks on his friends’ faces as well as to ascertain their grades for his no-doubt malicious plans. My advice is to not listen so you can enjoy your nap, happy and doubt-free.

10. Time is wearing away

I can’t help but feel time slipping away at 9:30 p.m. when I’m thinking that reindeer sweater leggings might make my life better. It doesn’t seem like that would be the case, but when I wake up for my 8 a.m. and, instead of jeans, don festively comfy pajamas masquerading as actual pants, there is joy in my life that there isn’t usually at 7 a.m. While I literally cannot wait for my 8 a.m. to fade into a bitter memory, there are some classes I will miss when the semester ends. Here’s to the rest of the semester — may your walking be minimal as well as your problems.

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