So it’s midnight and you have procrastinated that essay that is 15 percent of your overall grade — which is due tomorrow — until now. You trek to one of U.Va.’s two 24-hour libraries to get this tragedy over with. Clem is good if you want a headache due to ridiculously bright lights, and Clark is amazing if you like the smell of decaying science books. You pick your poison and begin, but as you write your essay feel free to take note of the five types of people you will see in the library as you edge closer to the dead of night.
1) The Generic Procrastinator
This student like all of us, had too much fun this weekend and needs to catch up. They usually have some form of caffeine accompanying them, and they typically leave around 1 to 2 a.m. They can be seen in a relaxed state, but overall they offer little threat to your studies.
2) The PROcrastinator
Here we have a real treat. It’s 3 a.m. and this student hasn’t even started his assignments. Instead, he’s watching “Dragon Ball Z” on Netflix for the 19th time this semester. He is a threat. Between his stifled giggles you can hear his laptop volume blaring through the headphones. He can be identified by the large mound of caffeinated drinks around him as well as large dark circles under his eyes. Somehow, by an unknown power, he gets his assignments in on time.
3) The Newbie
Potentially a first-year, this student has never been under this type of pressure before. She is most likely working in extreme haste and can be identified by the worrisome look on her face. She types sporadically and adds an air of tension to the room. She overall is not a threat but be careful — the closer to 8 a.m. we get, the closer we get to this student's anxious explosion.
4) The Fun Time Procrastinator
This adrenaline junkie does it for the rush. Scraping by until the last minute is how she makes her best work, and she loves it. She can be identified by her lack of a caffeinated beverage and casual attitude. To her, it’s not bizarre that she’s in a library at 3 a.m. instead of sleeping. This procrastinator poses no other threat other than she might try to get you to procrastinate more.
5) The Perfectionist
This species is one unlike any other. The essay this procrastinator is writing has been worked on for over 24 hours in its entirety. Ages ago it was at an A-level of work, but now it has been so over analyzed and edited it is unrecognizable. Avoid this procrastinator as they are likely to be in an extreme state of anxiety. This type of procrastinator may be identified by their pristine workstation and straight posture.
These various forms of procrastinators offer an experience like no other at U.Va.’s libraries. Wish them all luck as you finish your paper and head back home, as you were just one of them. Good luck with your studies! Happy procrastinating!
Sincerely,
Elisha Rypkema
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