The top 10 mistakes every man makes with his wardrobe
10. He doesn’t have fun socks
The importance of socks in a man’s wardrobe is unparalleled. Why settle for those bland white sweatsocks when you have so many other choices? There are nearly infinite kinds of socks to be worn which do not cost much money — so why aren’t you wearing any? A personal favorite is argyle — a true must.
9. He doesn’t wear hats
A man also needs to own a hat. A hat is a guy’s ultimate accessory — whether it’s a beanie, a snapback or even — dare I say it — a fedora. Not only can they be used to cover up that bad Justin Bieber haircut your mom likes so much, but they can also be used to accentuate that Jay-Z look you have wanted since you were 12 years old. Also, they can be used to keep you warm, as well as protect you from sun and precipitation.
8. He has yet to experience the marvel that is the cardigan
The cardigan (colloquially known as the “cardi”) is a fascinatingly versatile garment. It’s like the mutant offspring of a jacket and a sweater. Cardis are warm and come in a variety of styles. Whether it’s classic button down or the edgy zip-up, the cardigan is every man’s must have.
7. He doesn’t iron his clothes
I’ve encountered far too many guys at U.Va. who do not even own an iron. How did you make it to college without owning an iron? I’m baffled. I’m astounded. I’m flabbergasted. I’m saddened. Pressing your button-downs and oxfords could make them look so much better. Ironing those khaki pants you wear four times a week will take your style to other worlds. Ironing is such an easy task. Spend a few minutes pressing their clothes, and I guarantee you will start to feel better about your wardrobe.
6. He doesn’t clean (or shine) his shoes
This is an extremely easy task which increases the longevity of your footwear — and can easily make or break an outfit. Regardless of the occasion you’re dressing for, you should make sure your shoes are clean by taking a few seconds and wiping off that Rugby Road dirt. Your shoes will be grateful for it.
5. He doesn’t pay attention to his undergarments
Underwear is fun, not scary. You should stop wearing your old, cruddy boxers with holes from eight years ago and have a little fun! Get those neon boxer briefs you’ve been eyeing or have some school pride and get some orange and blue undies.
4. He abuses conspicuous labeling
Don’t let super large logos and and designs get in the way of your clothes. If a logo has a circumference larger than three inches, it’s probably too big. We don’t need to see that Ralph Lauren horse or that huge Nike checkmark. We know you spend a lot of money on your clothes, but the excessive labeling is simply tacky.
3. He wears a “muscle tee”
This is self-explanatory. Don’t be caught dead in one.
2. He’s still rocking the pants puddle
This is not 1998. Pants should not puddle at the top of your shoes. This is unacceptable. I’m not saying you should go out and buy all new pants — you have some puddled pants, just roll them up a bit. That is a great way to avoid looking disheveled and lost in the world.
1. He doesn’t read this fashion column every week
If you take a few minutes once a week to read these words of truth, you shall undoubtedly find inner peace…about your wardrobe, anyway.