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The National Anthem: Presidential Election Results

“This is where we analyze the analysts, watch the watch-parties and remember which channel CNN is on for the sole time every four years. They keep counting down and I expect someone to say “New Year’s”; 76-65, Romney right now, but with these basketball numbers Obama is bound to rebound” — Aaron Eisen, 8:59 p.m.

“I lied to my exit poller specifically to throw off their prediction” – ibid.

“In 5 minutes I will make my projection for the next CNN projection.” – ibid, 9:09 p.m.

“Could be the last election for the old media — they could phase out their economic irrelevance as part of retirement. It’s important to reiterate how meta (forgive me) this all is, with my watching on a computer people watching others through screens. Half of the country is blushing, with Romney capturing states.” – ibid, 9:40 p.m.

“Just saw a political advertisement. You got me too late, bro” – ibid.

“Obama wins before Virginia is even counted. Were we irrelevant? The leader-as-symbol lives on. What a great president” – ibid. fin.


Posted in I Might Be Wrong on November 6, 2012



  • Sabrina No Source said:

    Jackie lied about the rape to make Randall jealous. Why are editors of the student newspaper at Jefferson's university so afraid of the truth?
    on Students produce video thanking Jackie

  • James Roberts said:

    Falsely accusing others of assault is a crime. The fallout from this is going to keep raining down on Jackie and UVa for years. Cavalier Daily has not ...
    on Students produce video thanking Jackie

  • Carrie Clarke said:

    Publishing this in the school newspaper is extremely callous and insulting to all of the other UVa students and faculty (Dean Eramo) who have been harmed ...
    on Students produce video thanking Jackie

  • CrazyD said:

    The Washington Post has a bombshell today where it was revealed that Jackie made up the UVA Junior in order to get "Randall" jealous and interested in ...
    on Students produce video thanking Jackie

  • HallieJane said:

    Dear Cavalier Daily: Where on God's green earth have you been. No one was in a better position to discover Jackie was lying - Was there a party that ...
    on Students produce video thanking Jackie






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