The National Anthem: Presidential Election Results
“This is where we analyze the analysts, watch the watch-parties and remember which channel CNN is on for the sole time every four years. They keep counting down and I expect someone to say “New Year’s”; 76-65, Romney right now, but with these basketball numbers Obama is bound to rebound” — Aaron Eisen, 8:59 p.m.
“I lied to my exit poller specifically to throw off their prediction” – ibid.
“In 5 minutes I will make my projection for the next CNN projection.” – ibid, 9:09 p.m.
“Could be the last election for the old media — they could phase out their economic irrelevance as part of retirement. It’s important to reiterate how meta (forgive me) this all is, with my watching on a computer people watching others through screens. Half of the country is blushing, with Romney capturing states.” – ibid, 9:40 p.m.
“Just saw a political advertisement. You got me too late, bro” – ibid.
“Obama wins before Virginia is even counted. Were we irrelevant? The leader-as-symbol lives on. What a great president” – ibid. fin.