Here are some thoughts from me to you about what you may perhaps be facing when you leave the safe, warm, bosom of our dear University where everything is always okay all the time and nobody is ever troubled by matters of race or sexual violence.
So, finals. I won’t get into stress management because I’ve already written a column about that, and as anyone who has seen my famous eye twitch can assure you, my tips were all incredibly effective. Instead, I thought you could all use a little more specific advice on what you may expect in your final exams, by subject.
As usual, I’m getting away from my original point, which is that we’re all under a lot of stress all the time at this school. Something is always causing us worry, be it classes, extracurricular activities or disturbingly sexual dreams about your roommate (Philippe, call me). So how do we handle this stress? With alcohol. See you all next time.
For me the realization that I was never going to gain the love of another human person came as I was standing brushing my teeth with a beer in my hand while wearing a pink cotton nightgown with flowers on it.
