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Pyrotechnic pondering

The sparks of a good conversation

<p>Kelly's column runs biweekly Tuesdays. She can be reached at k.seegers@cavalierdaily.com. </p>

Kelly's column runs biweekly Tuesdays. She can be reached at k.seegers@cavalierdaily.com. 

Gazing into the dancing flames of a bonfire this weekend, some friends and I noted there is something about fire that elicits the best conversations.

We were able to seamlessly discuss life goals, the terrible events of the past week and, of course, the physics responsible for the flame which facilitated our open discussion about so many deep topics.

Fire is comforting — a source of warmth amid the cold and a beacon of light in the dark. There is something about the aroma of burning wood, the crisp night air, the bright vortex of light and the heat, which is beautifully soothing. Amid the crunch of the graham crackers and the stickiness of the marshmallows which inevitably end up on our faces or hands, we become united, open to discussion beneath the cloak of the night sky.

My friend theorized that perhaps this sense of comfort has to do with how it is acceptable to remain fixated upon the fire while others are talking. The pressure of maintaining eye contact and having the proper expression in reaction to each statement is gone, replaced by some sort of primal yearning for the ball of energy before us. All we have to do is stare ahead, mindlessly throw in twigs and watching them burn until they disintegrate.

Perhaps it also has to do with the fact that we are rarely ever gathered around something so simple, so awesome. It is not a TV with witty jokes spewing at us. It is not a computer feeding us a billion sources of information at once. It is not a game which requires us to follow rules. Fire is something entirely natural which people have gathered around for millennia. Somewhere deep down, I think this shared experience helps us to be more human.

The people with whom I have shared moments of roasting marshmallows to the perfect level of golden crispiness hold a special place in my heart. The memories last long after the smell of smoke lifts from my clothes. The bond we share stems from the intense life source that we were all gathered around, even if, like the fire, the sparks end up dying out.

I was a Girl Scout for a very long time, and one of my favorite traditions was taking ashes from each fire we left and bringing them to our next campground. That way, there was always a little bit of each previous fire which entered our new gathering.

Even if we don’t carry away physical ashes, I think we take a little bit of each of those encounters along with us. Friendships may fade, but each person who we are close to leaves a little something behind. As the old campfire song goes, “one is silver and the other’s gold.” Or, as my friend said around this weekend’s fire, “You hold onto some things and you let some things go. That’s life.”

Every new perspective we are exposed to — every piece of another human mind given to us by a peer — piles up to make a wonderful mixture we can add to our own identity. It is never stagnant. We are constantly adding in new ashes to the mix — but hopefully amid its changing state, it will become as vivacious, joyful and beautiful as a raging campfire.

Kelly’s column runs biweekly Tuesdays. She can be reached at k.seegers@cavalierdaily.com.

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