If you or anyone you know would like to help me acquire one of these or literally any career, feel free to contact me.
Screw it, that’s not even far enough, lets just start rioting.
Ruffle my hair? Ah, hell, why not. For old time’s sake. Go right ahea — ouch! Damn it, Dad T-shirt.
I don’t even know when we got to this point. What’s society’s big deal with following all these prescribed rules?
It was not too long ago that most of humanity rushed to toy shops, grocery stores,and knock-off Hallmark cards locations in search of one item.
I don’t think it’s possible for us to expect less of our school. This is a “u up?” text message at 3:00 am. This is the bare minimum.
Below is a retelling of actual events within the private residence of The White House at 6:15 a.m.
To all five of the people who regularly read this page: hello. My name is Brennan Lee, and I am the new editor for the Humor section here at The Cavalier Daily.
You know who’s nominated. You know who’s hosting. You think you know who the winners will be.
His tiny sleeves tore from the force within: the force of the toddlers’ rippling muscles, the bodybuilder of a baby they created.
I would say sorry, but I’m sure you understand. It’s finals.
Okay, it’s been a few weeks. We can talk about it now, right? We’ve taken time to mourn, and now we all walk into the nearest bookstore and pick up our copies of, “So, Your Next President Is A Total Bigot.” In your post-election turmoil, you might be wondering: What do we do now?
We need to stop jinxing the Mona Lisa
I have only spent a few months getting acclimated to the new environment on "Grounds" amongst my fellow "hoos" as a "first-year." I get it; as someone so new to the college education system, my opinion doesn't hold much value, and I really ought to just zip it and defer to the upperclassmen.
The other day, I had to go get a flu shot. Plagued by a lifelong fear of needles, I was not too keen on this idea, but my mom said I had to do it, and as with all children and their mothers, I am pretty scared of her.
Nov. 9, 2016 8 a.m.: Today will be my first day back in civilization in six years. Since the day I graduated from college, I have been living on my own in the wilderness.
All of the loud, elephantine, seemingly endless Trump supporters, I need you to shut up
It’s stupidly easy to influence kids.
I will admit it is easy to put a vampire costume together. All I needed was a slinky black dress, a cape and fake teeth.
Quit being racist. Seriously. Stop it. Freaking cut it out.
