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(06/10/20 6:47pm)
Good morning? Evening? Who knows. I write to you all today with a heavy heart and a slightly looser grip on reality. By the time you read this, I will have been quarantined within my parents’ house, located in the extraordinary nothingness that is southeastern Virginia, for what modern calculations dictate to be two months. However, as I find myself beat down time and time again by the mere act of existing on the same physical plane as white supremacists who stormed state capitol buildings in protest of not being allowed to die, I am convinced that it has been much, much longer.
(02/10/20 6:19am)
A month ago, I couldn’t believe another decade had arrived! Decades are so rare. Did you hear that they only come around once every 10 years? It’s wild, I know. Like many others, I took this new beginning as an opportunity to reflect on how I have grown over the years. And because this past decade comprised literally half of my entire existence, it shouldn’t be that difficult.
(08/23/19 8:15pm)
What’s up, peasants?! Long time no see. Yes, it HAS been a while. Why is that, you may ask? Well if you must know, I spent a month living out my days as a student in the sunny beach town of Brighton, England, where I became more cultured than any of you could ever dream of being. While you basic Americans were wasting your lives away in a bland, predominantly white Western country, I was doing literally the exact same thing on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean except around people with funny accents and a concerningly strong enthusiasm for drinking. I know it may be difficult, but please try to curb your jealousy — it doesn’t look good on you.
(04/24/19 2:00am)
It’s no secret that the comments on the Cavalier Daily’s Facebook posts of newly-published articles can sometimes look like digital warfare between irritable middle-aged keyboard warriors and, well, literally nobody else. The bloodiest of battles always take place under opinion pieces, as it is here that University alumni from decades past feel the need to reprimand current students for daring to express their viewpoints (sharing an OPINION in the OPINION section?! blasphemous) while simultaneously screaming their own outdated beliefs into the cyber void.
(02/09/19 9:44pm)
CHARLOTTESVILLE–—This past Sunday, the Charlottesville Police Department received reports of several deaths that occurred on and around Grounds throughout the day. According to multiple tweets, as well as the harrowing sounds of frat bros screaming “OH S—T,” those who perished were new fraternity pledges from the University who died of injuries sustained from being launched hundreds of feet into the air.
(11/27/18 4:23am)
Thanksgiving is an interesting time of a year, to say the least. Never has the fourth Thursday of a certain month gotten as much attention as that of November, and for what? Unseasoned poultry? A parade organized by a declining department store chain? Covertly racist comments made by your overtly racist relatives at the dinner table? Personally, I don’t really get the hype. But regardless of my feelings of confusion towards the holiday, no matter who you are, Thanksgiving is a pervasive phenomenon — one that completely takes over your life to the point where you can’t even recognize it anymore. So you can better understand what I mean, here are my top three reasons why Thanksgiving makes me feel like I’m living in an altered reality:
(11/01/18 1:48am)
Crushing college debt, record-breaking unemployment rates, having to constantly explain to your parents what a “skinny legend” is — these are some of the monumental struggles faced by our generation today. However, they are nothing compared to what can only be described as our Mount Everest, the mental warfare induced by deciding whether to hunker down and complete your mountain of homework and essays or to avoid any and all responsibilities by scrolling aimlessly through your social media feeds, only to drown in feelings of guilt and regret afterwards. If only there was a solution. If only there was a way to procrastinate your drastically more important tasks while still feeling some semblance of productivity.