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The lies I tell my tourists

(12/06/18 2:14am)

As a newly minted member of the University Guide Service, I have a certain responsibility to tell prospective students the truth. The first truth is that most University students gagged on that pretentious first sentence, balking at the thought of another preachy humor article that blurs the line between an intricately-detailed cry for help and a capitalization on whatever rockin’ slang teens use these days. Anyway, as trumpeters of the world’s okayest sweatshirt, Guides are taught to be honest, to give students the unfiltered truth of the University experience. We have the right to speak freely without worry of censorship from the administration. They’d have to pay us to do that. So, I’m going to get real with you by telling you things you already know. Because isn’t that what art is? Just replicating common human experience through various creative media? Are you gagging yet?


Honor Committee considers non-binding poll in next UBE election for changes to single sanction policy

(12/05/18 4:17am)

The Honor Committee met Sunday evening in its last meeting of the semester, in which committee members discussed the possible implementation of a University-wide poll to elicit student feedback on potential changes to the single sanction policy. 


U.Va. and Charlottesville community work to support education and awareness for World AIDS Day

(12/03/18 4:58am)

Started in 1988 in London as the world’s first global health day, World AIDS Day takes place each year on Dec. 1. Both U.Va. student organizations — such as the Student Council and LGBTQ Center — and members of the Charlottesville community have and will host events for World AIDS Day to promote education and awareness of sexual health while bringing special attention to AIDS.


Miller Center event focuses on President Trump’s foreign policy, future implications

(12/03/18 5:21am)

The Miller Center of Public Affairs hosted Michael E. O’Hanlon, a senior fellow in foreign policy at the Brookings Institution, for a discussion Friday afternoon on President Trump’s foreign policy and the most critical international challenges facing the United States in the near future. The event was held as a conversation moderated by Politics Department Chair John Owen and was open to the public. 


BAKER: In support of ranked choice voting

(12/05/18 3:09am)

The 2018 congressional midterm elections produced a variety of headlines ranging from Democrats retaking the U.S. House of Representatives, to Republicans expanding their majority in the Senate — one article was aptly titled “Geography is Destiny.” However, one headline that flew under the radar was the successful implementation of Ranked Choice Voting in Maine. Ranked-choice voting, or instant runoff-voting, allows citizens to rank candidates by preference on their ballot. If one candidate does not secure 50 percent of the vote on the first tally then the nominee with the lowest amount of initial support is eliminated from contention. After a candidate is eliminated, their votes are reapportioned based off of the citizens’ second choice on the ballot. This process is continued until one candidate has more than 50 percent of the vote. 


J.I.D. hits his stride on ‘DiCaprio 2’

(12/04/18 2:22pm)

Atlanta-based rapper J.I.D. is no newcomer to his craft — he’s been cranking out music well before a lot of his contemporaries hit puberty. However, only recently have audiences started tuning in to what he has to say. In 2017, J.I.D was signed to J. Cole’s label, Dreamville. In 2018, he was placed on the XXL Freshman cover. However irrelevant being put on the XXL Freshman list may be nowadays, it is still a significant nod to J.I.D.’s achievements and gradual maneuver towards the upper-echelons of the rap game. 


President Jim Ryan announces shocking new policy for finals

(12/06/18 5:27am)

With the stressful finals season almost already upon us, President Jim Ryan has come straight out of left field and announced a new policy for the upcoming finals at U.Va. He has announced that if any student beats the current U.Va. president in a dead heat sprint across the Lawn, that student is then excused from all finals in all of their classes. This announcement came during a special interview held at the steps of the Rotunda at around 3:30 a.m., that I had the pleasure of attending since I was in the area attempting to steal bricks at the time.* Here is my run down of the event.  



DUA: What’s so special about the Juul?

(12/03/18 5:25am)

It’s hard to overstate the transformative effect the Juul has had on modern culture. People all over the country have become smitten with the e-cigarette and it’s easy to see why — Juuls are cool. They’re sleek, they fit in your pocket and they come in a variety of appealing flavors. But that really doesn’t tell the whole story — Juuls are a staple of younger society, the University included. Whether it’s at bars, house parties, libraries or even in large lecture halls, it’s not uncommon to see one or more people “Juuling.”  







Embarrassed Jim Ryan reveals he was Cav-Man at Virginia Tech, wanted to surprise victorious team with hilarious prank

(12/21/18 4:56pm)

Already in his short time as president of the University, Jim Ryan has become famous for his fun-loving spirit, and such hilarious hijinks as dressing up like a greeter on move-in day to come to terms with the fact that no U.Va. student really knew what he looked like. President Ryan recently had another trick up his sleeve as he donned the iconic Cav Man suit and travelled with the football team to Blacksburg, Va., hoping to reveal the elaborate ruse in the Cavaliers’ inevitable moment of victory against longtime rivals, Virginia Tech. But his hopes were soon dashed.