The consequences of one-night stands can extend beyond the immediate physical consideration of sexually transmitted infections or pregnancy into a person’s emotional and mental well-being. They may begin the next morning and continue as the encounter sinks in; however, discussion of those consequences often falls by the wayside as a person focuses on being tested for a laundry list of STIs: chlamydia, crabs, HPV, HIV, gonorrhea, genital warts and others. The psychological effects of being in a casual sexual situation are rarely addressed in such a methodic way. Many STIs can treated with a prescription, but the varied and complex mental and emotional fallout after a one-night stand can take a much longer time to recognize and process.
Leonard Carter, assistant director of the University’s Counseling and Psychological Services, said the mental effects of one-night-stands are “variable by the individual. Some people shrug it off and are OK with it; other people can be completely devastated and it could even ruin their whole year.”
For some, regret may be the biggest issue after a hook-up. This can lead to self-blame, with questions like, “Why did I wear that? Why did I let that happen? What was I thinking?” first-year College student Carrie Mongle said. In cases consensual sexual activity, a student even can come to believe an encounter was his or her fault.
Even in cases of mild regret, the negativity of a one-night stand can linger.
For some, Carter said, “a one-night stand presents an initial thrill, but they may feel empty and dejected afterwards.”
Interpersonal misunderstandings are another issue commonly involved in casual sexual activity.
“You often find yourself more in action-mode than thinking about what you want out of the situation,” Carter said, also noting that before engaging in sexual activity, one should consider “safe sex, what your motivation is, and what you want to get out of the situation.”
First-year College student Cypress Walker said that over the summer, a friend engaged in a hookup in which “she felt a connection, and he thought it was just a one-time thing.” Self-esteem and self-worth can greatly be impacted by the rejection stemming from misunderstanding.
Religious beliefs can also play into the psychology of sexual relations. Many religions directly prohibit sex before marriage and even contraception within a marriage. Religious beliefs can deeply affect notions of culture and family, and betraying either one of those entities can result in a perceived loss of identity, exclusion from a religion or a distance from a spiritual being.
In light of these complications, even the best-laid plans can go awry. One student who requested anonymity described a one-night stand that was fully thought through and arrived at the conclusion of, “Whatever, let’s do it.” She noted, “After that, I couldn’t call. He was my best friend, and it screwed up the friendship.”
Actions, including sexual encounters, have unforeseen, and often permanent, consequences. Seemingly informed decisions can backfire, but proper planning, in terms of physical risks, can make for a smarter start.
Because alcohol lowers sexual inhibitions, sizable numbers of students engaging in casual sexual behavior are those also drinking. The U.Va. Health Behaviors Survey 2007 found that 17.2 percent of students reporting alcohol use in the past 12 months “engaged in sexual activity which [the respondent] ordinarily would not have,” and 7.5 percent of those students “engaged in sexual activity without safer sex practices that [the respondent] normally use[s].” These numbers can be tempered by the fact that 51 percent of respondents who reported using their ordinary safe sex practices had a peak Blood Alcohol Concentration of more than the legal limit, 0.08. On the other hand, 85.1 percent of respondents who reported not using their ordinary safe sex practices had a peak BAC exceeding the legal limit.
The psychological effects of casual sexual encounters do not differentiate between genders. For men and women, there is a “range of responses; some can accommodate, but for others [hook-ups] can be a real negative,” Carter said. While women — one in four of whom have been sexually assaulted — are the most-portrayed targets of sexual assault, 1 in 6 men have also been sexually assaulted by the age of 18, according to the Sexual Assault Resource Agency. If a line has been crossed by either gender, the University Women’s Center has a Web site for sexual assault survivors that includes third-party reporting and essential medical information.
Emotional, physical and mental consequences cannot be ignored in the aftermath of casual sexual encounters. While the assessment of physical consequences may be easier to complete, emotional and mental risks can be unpredictable and long-lasting; such an investment of body, mind and soul seems to demand your full attention.
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