And you thought the movie "Magnolia" was impossible to understand - try explaining the NCAA to your friends.
In recent weeks, the governing body of intercollegiate athletics has sent more mixed signals than your average soap opera femme fatale.
I could ramble on and on about the convoluted sagas of Erick Barkley, DerMarr Johnson and Chris Porter, but I'll save you the confusion by focusing on two of the most twisted tales of all: the sad stories of Jamal Crawford and Nate Webster.
Crawford, a precocious swingman on the Michigan basketball team, was suspended by the NCAA for eight games this season because he declared his eligibility for the NBA draft the summer prior to his freshman campaign in Ann Arbor.
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Makes perfect sense, right? High school kid opts to go pro, NCAA rules mandate that any prepster who submits his name into the draft pool loses his college eligibility. End of story?
Au contraire.
First of all, Crawford's name never appeared on the NBA draft list. His letter arrived at the league's Madison Avenue offices a day after the deadline for declaring.
The NCAA allows any college hoopster the opportunity to withdraw his name from the draft pool as long as he has not signed with an agent (I'll save Lamar Odom's bizarre account for another time).
Take Voshon Lenard, now of Miami Heat fame, for example. Lenard decided to forego his senior season at Minnesota, declined to ink with an agent and was selected 46th by the Milwaukee Bucks. Disappointed with that spot, he returned to the Land of 10,000 Lakes for his final year. No questions asked, no fuss made.
Just like Lenard, Crawford never obtained representation. All he did was make a silly adolescent mistake, yet he had to get down on hands and knees and beg like a panhandler to regain his NCAA eligibility.
Something smells here, and the vile stench traces back to the Kansas City home of the NCAA, now more commonly known to as the Never Ceasing to Amaze Association.
As if Crawford's case wasn't unjust enough, wait until you get a load of the tragedy that recently befell former Miami linebacker Nate Webster. Former is the operative word.
Webster, a junior last fall with the Hurricanes, hastily opted to throw his name into the NFL hat after living a life of obscene luxury with ex-Hurricane and current Indianapolis Colt Edgerrin James one postseason weekend.
As AC/DC once pointed out, money talks, so as soon as Webster got a taste of the NFL life, he couldn't ignore greed's beckoning call. So, like Crawford, Webster went pro.
Literally minutes, if not seconds after mailing the letter, Webster called his own blunder.
A remorseful, apologetic Webster told The Sporting News, "It was a foolish mistake on my part that cost me."
Cost is an understatement. The NCAA originally levied a three-game suspension on the Miami linebacker; then, deciding that penalty wasn't quite harsh enough, banned him from collegiate play altogether.
The Hurricanes begged. They pleaded. They protested. They appealed. The NCAA didn't flinch. As a result, Webster sees his name listed as an NFL draft candidate ... against his will.
By precluding him from playing collegiately, the NCAA commits a far more heinous act than simply keeping a potential All-American off the playing field. It keeps him out of the classroom, for as Webster's college eligibility ends, so too does his scholarship.
"I'm disappointed," Webster told TSN. "I really wanted to stay and have another season with my teammates and get my education."
In reply, the NCAA offers this trite nugget: rules are rules, rigid standards regulating conduct that, when altered, undermine the integrity of the game.
Fine, but without changing the rules, how about just the slightest bit of compassion? How about making exceptions for petty errors in judgment that could cost kids the chance at a degree? After all, that's what we ultimately hope these kids achieve, right?
Crawford and Webster are two naïve teens who made genuinely insipid yet harmless mistakes. No agents were involved. No illegal cash transactions took place. Nothing dirty. These two athletes, undercut by the NCAA's omnipotent yet unsympathetic wand of "justice," aren't asking for much. All they want is a little common sense from the NCAA.
Crawford got a second chance - at a price. Webster wasn't so lucky.
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