"Two Weeks Before Break"
By Eston E. Melton IV & Brooke C. Bakun
'Twas two weeks before break and all through the Grounds
People looked forward to their trips out of town.
From TAs to first-years, professors and staff
We yearned for a break from course-adding gaffes.
But before we could leave and enjoy a nice rest
We all had to survive a last round of tests.
Wahoos a-plenty picked up all their books
Off to Alderman Stacks they went for last looks
But as we sat down, there arose such a clatter
We put down our coffee to see what was the matter.
And to our surprise, we all saw a great pit
Inside of which the Rotunda would fit
Unable to study with all of the din
We ran off to Clemons, and tried to squeeze in.
Alas, before long, people started to shout,
"Evil!Fraud!Deception!My print quota's run out!"
A few grabbed Cav Dailys to escape from frustration
But the budget cut headlines gave no relaxation.
From garages to drought to a hiring freeze,
Their heads filled with anguish but got no reprieve.
Since bookwork was out, we went out to a bar,
But in putting back drinks, we didn't get very far;
Wallets and purses were all a touch lighter:
Tuition, you see, had inched a bit higher.
"What a rotten semester," said one gal, irate.
"Blame the administrators," offered her date.
It didn't take long before word started to spread,
"Out with Casteen!The BOV!We'll have all their heads!
We traipsed up the Corner, all headed for home
When someone caught sight of a jolly old gnome.
He wore glasses and tweed and looked quite serene.
"My gosh!" someone said."It's John T. Casteen!"
Behind the top dog stood his VPs and deans.
They were all so well-dressed and looking pristine.
"Now Sandridge," he said, "Blackburn and Lampkin,
Ayers, and the rest: you all better start clappin!"
At Casteen's command they began to applaud.
We couldn't help wonder if it was a fa
ade.
When the clapping died out, Casteen's voice chimed in,
"You did a great job sticking through to the end.
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