Planning to seduce that cute coed down the hall with champagne and strawberries? Thinking of feeding oysters to your Valentine to put him in a more romantic mood?
Think again.
According to Terry Turner, professor of Urology and Cell Biology at the medical school, foods commonly thought of as aphrodisiacs have no physiological effect on the body.
"Most of it is smoke and mirrors and pipe dreams," he said.
While little is known on the reason for the dearth of aphrodisiacs among the panoply of edibles available to humans, Biology Prof. Reginald Garrett speculated that there may be an evolutionary explanation.
Garrett said many Americans may have problems with being overweight because humans evolved in a food-scarce environment. Even though most of us no longer have to worry about where and when we will find our next meal, we have retained the drive to eat more than necessary when food is available.
If a true aphrodisiac did exist, we might have a similar problem with being over-sexed.
Then why, despite the lack of any physiological or biochemical effect, are certain foods such as bananas and figs thought to have erotic properties?
"The typical rational is that they're evocative of genitalia," Garrett said.
In some cultures, practitioners of folk medicine prescribe aphrodisiacal foods or herbs to deal with infertility problems or even influence the sex of a child being conceived.
"From ancient times, there is attention given to aphrodisiacs being something people should know about," Anthropology Prof. Ravindra Khare said.
He added that practitioners of the Ayurvedic school of medicine in India use aphrodisiacs to affect a patient's sex drive and reproductive function.
Certain substances made from both plant and animal parts came to be thought of as aphrodisiacs in Ayurvedic medicine through trial and error. If the bark of a tree or bone of an animal appeared to have the desired effect repeatedly, it became a useful aphrodisiac.
Khare noted that the potency of an aphrodisiac is related to its exoticness.
"The rarer a thing is, and more remote and difficult it is to find, the more potent it is considered to be," he said.
According to Khare, some of the traditional aphrodisiacs are being investigated in scientific terms to determine if they do in fact have an effect on the body.
Although no substances have yet been shown scientifically to increase sex drive, there are compounds that can have the opposite effect. Phytoestrogens, present in some plants, and industrially produced estrogen mimicking compounds can affect sexual health in men, according to Turner.
Both testosterone production and sperm count are indicators of male sexual health.
"Estrogen will knock down both of these," Turner said.
Testosterone controls the sex drive, and the lack of it may act as an anti-aphrodisiac.
Men working with industrial toxins or pesticides and herbicides should be especially conscious of their exposure to estrogen-like compounds. Small amounts of phytoestrogens, however, are present in foods we encounter on a daily basis.
Most men need not worry about phytoestrogens, but they may have a noticeable effect on a man with a marginally low sperm count.
"It may degrade him just a little bit," Turner said.
And that slight degradation may lead to the inability to father a child.
Leading a generally healthy lifestyle will contribute to long term sexual health, and most people will have no need to enhance their sex drive with aphrodisiacal aids.
As for ways to conjure up some romance this weekend, Turner prescribes "a full moon and nice weather."
If by chance these aren't available on Valentine's Day, you should follow Garrett's advice: "Wine is good. French wine is very good"
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