Hi, my name is Alyssa, and I am addicted to my Blackberry. It has been exactly 2 minutes and 4 seconds since I last checked for messages. These phone-free intervals are slowly becoming longer. Now I think I am at a good enough place in my recovery where I can talk about it all - the good, the bad and the downright ugly. Let's start at the beginning.
I guess I had it coming to me. Before my Blackberry, I had a regular Nokia phone. It was a simpler time, one when the art of text messaging was the only real feature at my disposal. Even then, it was difficult for me to avoid looking at a text once I knew I had one. I should have known I was doomed to fail the moment I added e-mail, Google chat and Facebook notifications to the mix.
My first encounter with the Blackberry was Saturday, March 26, 2010. We started off slowly. I still only had text messaging available to me because I was waiting until I got back to school to set up my e-mail. From there, though, it really got bad. As soon as I set up an e-mail account and connected it to my Facebook notifications, the dark passenger had taken over me.
It wasn't long until I could distinguish between the different beeps. Two beats. The first has a lower pitch. If it sounds like a chime, it's an e-mail. Two beats. Similar to the e-mail alert except that this one has a higher pitch - text message. The last one has the same beat, same pitch, repeated twice, and both are staccato. This one's Facebook. As soon as I hear them, I have to check them. I know what you're thinking. Why don't I just silence it? It doesn't help. In fact, it makes it worse. The vibration is so loud that it can be heard an entire room away, and because there is no distinguishing beep, it could be anything.
But the moment I knew I was addicted came only recently. I was sitting in a window sill on the third floor of Cabell Hall watching "Grey's Anatomy" between my 9 a.m. and 10 a.m. classes. My bum began to fall asleep, so I changed positions. A simple shift to the right and my Blackberry rolled off my bag and onto the very edge of the open window. I lunged for it and caught it right before it fell all the way down. It suddenly became very clear to me - my Blackberry was controlling my life. Actually, that's an understatement. My Blackberry was my life. This reality hit me like a log in the face.\nI'm aware that my addiction is about as rational as my fear of the squirrels on Grounds and perhaps equally disturbing. But I've reformed. Moreover, I've completely devoted myself to the recovery process. First step: admitting you have a problem. Well, dear readers, I have a problem: I am addicted to my Blackberry. I recognize there's a greater power that will help me restore my sanity. Their names are Ben and Jerry. I fully accept that a little Karamel Sutra will get me through anything.
Next step: Make a list of the people that I have hurt and make amends for my errors. I would like to take this time to apologize to the countless people who have had to deal with my behavior during the last month. I am sorry to all of those people who I've bumped into while I walk and text at the same time. I am sorry for thinking that it was OK to drive with my elbows because I simply could not stop my Google talk conversation. But the people that I most want to apologize to are my friends. I am sorry for refusing to listen to your nagging jokes about my problem. I am sorry for choosing to fiddle with Facebook rather than listen to your stories. I am sorry that my idea of a good time was playing Sudoku and BrickBreaker for hours. Because of my immersion in the Blackberry world, I forgot everyone around me, and for that, I am deeply regretful and apologetic.
From here on out, I devote myself to a new code of behavior. I promise to get a handle on the situation. I will get to the point that I do not have to constantly have my Blackberry within a 2-foot radius of me. I do believe that things have been changing since my rehabilitation started. I know I will be OK in the end. It has been a hard journey so far, but that light at the end of this tunnel is getting closer. I mean, let's look on the bright side. At least I don't have an iPhone.
Alyssa's column runs biweekly Mondays. She can be reached at a.juan@cavalierdaily.com.
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