Whether you be one of the 1,000 girls going through rush this past week or one of the 2,000 already on the other side, you are undoubtedly exhausted and emotionally drained. Many of you are probably wondering why you chose to partake in this process in the first place.
As a third year veteran of the system, I still struggle to accept its faults. This year, between rounds of house tours, I watched hundreds of girls speed walk down Rugby, hurrying to get to their next house on time. A few of them would stop along the way to trade Uggs and sweatpants for a more impressive pair of high heels. Then, straightening their hair and checking their watches, they would continue on with an aura of determination.
My heart broke for those girls — not because I was worried whether they would receive a bid to their houses of choice, but because of their keen desire to find acceptance within the system, a circle of exclusivity. My friend, immediately recognizing the look of distress on my face, jumped off her bed and rummaged through her things, promising she had the perfect C.S. Lewis essay for me to read.
She was right. As I read, I felt like C.S. Lewis was sitting there next to me, imparting words of advice and comfort. It was as if he understood all my doubts. In his essay “The Inner Ring,” he wrote, “I believe that in all men’s lives at certain periods, and in many men’s lives at all periods between infancy and extreme old age, one of the most dominant elements is the desire to be inside the local Ring and the terror of being left outside.”
His essay helped me grasp a difficult truth: the deep desire to be an insider is not limited to Greek life — it applies to all of us. As human beings, we desire to be loved, wanted and accepted. We tell ourselves that we don’t care, that we’re above the system, that we’re beyond the judgments — but if we are honest, we recognize that each of us is a player in a scheme of exclusivity.
C.S. Lewis admits that the existence of inner rings is inevitable, but says they are not always evil. To Lewis, confidential discussions and personal friendships are necessary in building relationships. The problem, however, lies in one’s desire to be on top, to peel away the layers of the system until he or she has seen it all, and to be accepted in every ring.
Surrounded by competition, selective circles and disappointing rejections, all of us at the University can relate to what Lewis writes in the conclusion of his essay: “To a young person, just entering on adult life, the world seems full of ‘insides,’ full of delightful intimacies and confidentialities, and he desires to enter them. But if he follows that desire he will reach no ‘inside’ that is worth reaching.”
Therefore, the road to life, fullness and joy must lie entirely apart from this notion of exclusivity. It is up to each of us to discover our own direction.
Peyton’s column runs biweekly Wednesdays. She can be reached at p.williams@cavalierdaily.com.
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