As the end of my fourth year comes into clear view, it is time to reflect on all the things that made my fourth year at the University special. It is a year that I will remember as both very transformative yet very bittersweet — the perfect exclamation point to round out my time at the University.
1. My first time introducing myself as a fourth-year
The transition from referring to myself as a “third-year” to a “fourth-year” was a jarring experience. There was always something comforting to me about being able to call myself a first-year or a second-year, as there was an implication that I was still learning the ropes. Moving into third year was an adjustment, but the fourth-year title takes the cake. Me, a fourth-year? Someone who presumably knows what is going on? How could that now be me?
2. Walking past my first-year dorm again
Most of my classes are centered around New Cabell Hall, so I rarely walk near New Dorms, my old first-year home. Before the start of fourth year, I walked over to my old dorm, Balz-Dobie, in a moment of curiosity and nostalgia. It felt like I was walking around a foreign land — a place that I know so well, yet had not seen in forever, and a place that will always evoke strong feelings for me. I couldn’t help but look up to the sixth floor of Balz-Dobie with a sense of compassion when I thought about my first-year self looking out the window.
3. Not having to find my classrooms before FDOC
I think that one of my biggest wins of fourth year is seamlessly knowing my way around Grounds. Starting with my first year, I would do a dry run of finding each of my classrooms before the real first day of school — partly because I was nervous and partly because some rooms, like my first French class in the winding labyrinth of Nau Hall, were difficult for me to find. Waltzing into my classes without doing any of my usual pre-FDOC preparation felt like a true marker of success for me, demonstrating that I earned the title of a fourth-year.
4. Having greater schedule flexibility — hello, no Friday classes
With my English major finished, I found some extra room in my schedule this year. With this freed-up space, I finally achieved the goal of all goals — no Friday classes. The revelation of how amazing an open Friday is strikes me as both glorious and dangerous. Truthfully, I cannot imagine going back to a five-day week anytime soon. Starting law school will end my four-day week privilege, but I will always look back on my Friday mornings marked by sleeping in and seeing where the day takes me with joy.
5. Accepting that I will not be obtaining the #1 Bodo’s ticket
While earning the highly-coveted first Bodo’s ticket of the day might be a worthy feat for some, I learned during my fourth year that I am not sufficiently compelled to pull myself out of bed for it. My bacon, egg and cheese on a sesame seed bagel is just as delicious no matter what number my order ticket reads. If you have secured the #1 Bodo’s ticket, I applaud you — from my bed.
6. Completing my last French presentation
Starting with FREN 1020, “Elementary French II,” my first semester, I have taken at least one French class every semester at the University to earn my French minor. One of the focal points of so many of my French classes has been presentations, with my favorite topics ranging from the history of French colonialism to the role of suspense in French films and short stories. I completed my last French oral presentation in February, and while it was a big relief, I do think I will miss stumbling through my pronunciation for 10 minutes straight.
7. Picking up my cap and gown
Grad Fest back in February truly snuck up on me. Seeing an email about picking up my cap and gown was a surprise, and actually picking up my cap and gown felt like the first real indication that graduation was not some abstract event lurking somewhere in the future. Physically holding my cap and gown was even scarier, but it was also exciting and even a tiny bit sad. This variety of emotions is very characteristic of my fourth-year array of “lasts” and became even more real when I put on my cap and gown for graduation photos on the Lawn.
8. Picking out a balloon to carry at graduation
I have watched in awe of the sea of balloons that flood the Lawn during Final Exercises in May each year. Picking out a balloon to carry feels like a big task — because it is. I wanted my choice to capture the essence of my four years at the University, and that is no easy feat. I picked a balloon of “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” — the book that set me on the path of a love for reading and writing. Regardless of the balloon you carry, there is something so magical about seeing the Lawn full of happy and celebratory balloons.
9. Constantly straddling between nostalgia and excitement for what’s next
I always thought that my fourth year would be my favorite year, and in many ways, it was. What did surprise me, however, was how so much excitement, anxiety, uncertainty and joy can coexist all at once. Some days, I find myself longing for just a little more time at the University and missing things as mundane as a second-year discussion section, and other days I am so thrilled to start something new. The never-ending mix of emotions seems to get more complicated as my days left on Grounds fade into the rearview.
10. Walking the Lawn at Final Exercises
I have been thinking about walking the Lawn ever since first-year Convocation when University President Jim Ryan told the Class of 2025 that the next time we would all be gathered together on the Lawn would be for graduation. I will never forget that August day, when graduation seemed unfathomably far away. Now that I am at the end, I look back to the start with a sense of joy. My four years have been difficult. They have been slow, yet very fast. Above all, my four years at the University are something I will always be proud and grateful to have experienced.
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