Each time I stepped out of my dorm last year, one accessory was always close by — my trusty AirPods. It is an understatement to say that I was attached to my chatty podcasts in the AFC, pop playlists on strolls around Grounds and instrumental music during Shannon study sessions. Whether I was embarking on the two-minute walk from Gooch to Runk Dining Hall or the 20-minute trek to my classes, something was constantly playing in my ears.
As this semester ramps up, however, I’ve decided that I want my listening habits to look a little different. The transitions from place to place formerly filled with easy, noisy distraction are now opportunities for peace or productivity — times for me to mentally prepare my to-do list or simply take in Grounds’ sights and sounds. And those reliable old AirPods? Well, they’re now more likely found safely tucked away in my bag.
It’s safe to say that this change did not happen overnight. After a school year of nonstop, personalized sound, this summer brought experiences that left me feeling a bit differently about my headphone habits. I embarked on an exciting backpacking trip through Portugal with my brother, and although we’d spent months planning this journey, days off the grid and long stretches of walking brought a challenge I had not anticipated — silence.
Predictably, two straight weeks of hiking meant my brother and I spent quite a bit of quality time together. But with so many days walking between 10 and 20 miles, we eventually ran out of discussion-worthy topics and sibling spats to fill the space. I soon found myself following my brother on the trail with no conversation flowing between us — just the sound of our shoes tromping across the landscape.
As we trekked through towns, countrysides and even along highways, I tried desperately to pass the time. I looked past the foggy mornings, gorgeous vistas and salty seaside scents, instead reaching for downloaded podcast episodes and hoping the hours and landscapes would fly by if I had something — anything — playing in my ears. Yet when we passed other hikers, swapping good-natured greetings, I noticed that no one else seemed to be sporting headphones. I suddenly felt embarrassed — not relieved — by my reliance on perpetual stimulation.
I began removing my AirPods each time we approached groups on the trail, not wanting them to see my inability to be fully present in the experience. Eventually, I gave up on my strange headphone dance altogether. My fears of judgement revealed the deeper need at hand — it was time to let myself think.
At first, I couldn’t help but replace the noise with dread for the hilly terrain and thoughts of my backpack’s seemingly ever-increasing weight. I quickly realized the misery of this, however, and worked to give myself prompts and ideas — daydreaming about the future, appreciating my friendships and considering the beautiful landscape.
The silence was lonely at times, but I soon realized how much I enjoyed my own company. Being with myself — without distractions — gave me space to discover new aspects of my own personality. I entertained myself with games and scenarios, ran through songs and soundtracks I had long ago memorized and enjoyed the freedom to simply think without inhibition.
As I wrapped up my travels and returned to the world of consistent Spotify access, I expected to revert right back to my old listening ways. To my surprise, however, I found myself craving that sense of peace I’d uncovered on my trip. But the hectic start of the school year inevitably brings new challenges, routines and questions — so how could I keep up this reflective habit amidst the chaos?
Since returning to Grounds, I have made the daily, conscious effort to integrate these lessons in silence into my life at the University, from challenging myself to technology-free walks across the Lawn to leaving my phone at home when grabbing Bodo’s with friends.
Yet, without the distraction of the breathtaking Portuguese views from my trip, I still find these choices difficult. Our brains can be jarring and strange places, always ready to offer unnecessary judgement and criticism. I’m often tempted to use noise as a distraction rather than investigate the more disagreeable thoughts that arise. Despite this, I remain firm in my goal to embrace the quiet, working to replace the ease of entertainment with observation — both inside and out.
All this is not to say that soundtracks are never necessary — the joys of the perfect upbeat song during a hard workout or a hilarious podcast on a long car ride are unmatched. But there is something to be said for adding a little awkwardness to your life, particularly when those strange feelings are just a stop on the way to uncovering more about yourself.
Music is still a constant presence in my life, and I’m unlikely to fully ditch my AirPods anytime soon. But as I’ve begun making room for my own thoughts, the soundtrack that used to blare incessantly has become an accessory to my life, rather than a crutch. I may not always have internet access or Spotify Premium, but I will always have myself — and I’ve come to realize that’s enough for me.
Read More
Top 10 tips on how to start working out
By Xander Tilock | 16 hours agoEveryone may have their own strategy, but here are some tips on how to get moving and feel fantastic while doing so.
Hoo’s got influence? Kate Gillen does.
By Ingrid Gay | 16 hours agoFor Kate Gillen, a hobby that once started as home videos as a pre-tween has now become a source of entertainment for thousands.
Charlottesville PrideFest: A celebration of the city’s queer community
By Rosie Strickland | 3 days agoCville PrideFest takes place in September to avoid the intense southern June heat and also allows University students to join the festivities.
