As the year goes on I feel as though I'm becoming less happy. It seems like everyone has a niche of friends to do things with, and I am starting to feel extremely left out. The people I know ask me to hang out, but even then I feel like an outsider. What can I do to make things better?
Sincerely,
A Little Lonely
Dear A Little Lonely,
Unfortunately, there is no quick fix for finding the ideal group of friends. If you feel as though you're making a strong effort to meet new people and branch out, then it's probably going to take time more than anything. Often times it is by simple chance that you meet someone like a friend of a friend with whom you enjoy spending time. If your friends are the ones asking you to hang out, you shouldn't feel unwanted at all. Besides, it also increases the possibility of meeting some new folks that might strike your fancy.
The interesting thing about meeting people, or becoming close with individuals, is that it is extremely unpredictable. Although the uncertainty can be a bit unsettling, it also leaves room for lots of possibilities and unexpected surprises. It is up to you to be open-minded and pro-active in trying to meet some new people, but even then, things like this take time. If you are patient with everything and keep a positive outlook on the situation, you're more likely to be content.
In the mean time, if you are spending a lot of time on your own, make a strong effort to take advantage of it as much as possible. If there are hobbies or activities you always wished you'd spent more time doing, now is a good time to go for it. By finding ways to be content and self-sufficient, you will hopefully take some of the pressure off finding the right niche. There are only so many things you have direct control over, and it is important to remember that even if you meet the perfect friend, it doesn't necessarily translate to a perfect life. It is always great to have wonderful friends to fall back on, but at the same time you have to make sure that you're content with yourself. Once you have everything worked out on the inside, it's more likely that things will also start to fall into place on the outside.
Dear Dockter Duval,
My roommate has this annoying habit of setting her alarm clock way too early each morning and then continually hitting the snooze button. She goes to bed around 3 a.m. and then sets her alarm for 7 a.m. I know she won't get up until about 9:30, but she insists on hitting the snooze for a couple of hours until she has to go to class. I don't want to be too controlling, but it definitely cuts into my sleep, which I don't think is very fair. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Sleepless in Charlottesville
Dear Sleepless in Charlottesville,
I don't think there is anything wrong with asking your roommate to set her alarm for a time that is more consistent with the time she actually gets out of bed. It will probably help her as well, since she will get more uninterrupted sleep as opposed to several hours of quasi-rest. If your roommate has any sort of open mind, she should recognize that it's not fair to make you form your sleep schedule around hers. If she can't understand this simple state of affairs, switch the roles for once. You could get up early, set your alarm to go off an hour before hers, grinning as your alarm goes off every nine minutes with repeated snoozes. It might even be better if you're not even pretending to sleep, but just sitting up in bed reading making the alarm absolutely pointless. It sounds absurd, but imagine how funny it would be if every time she tossed in bed and looked in your direction for a response you just acted as though you didn't hear the obnoxious fog horn of an alarm blasting away. As soon as she says, "Hey, shut the alarm off, would you?" it is your cue to walk over to her clock and shut it off. You'd want to make sure that she doesn't have a test that day or anything important because then you might have a royal rumble on your hands. Otherwise, a healthy dose of her being in your shoes should be enough to set her straight.
If at any moment you begin to feel as though it's not right of you to ask her to revamp her morning routine, think again. In fact, think of all the other innocent and helpless hall mates that probably share the agony. Your neighbors most likely lay in bed reciting Conrad all morning, uttering "The horror! the horror!" at the unpleasant situation. Oh no my sleepless wonder, I guarantee that you are not alone in your struggles, and that everyone who lives around you will feel liberated from the snooze torture. There aren't many things more annoying than the brainwashed, Pavlovian dog-of-a-neighbor who is conditioned to continually strike the snooze button on command, desiring nine whole minutes of sleep as if that will simply cure a tired spell. The year is not half over, and there are plenty more hours of sleep to be gained, or lost, depending on if you say something to your roommate.
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