The other night I walked in on one of my friends hooking up with a girl. The catch is he has a girlfriend, who I am also a friend of as well. I would say that I'm a better friend with him than his girlfriend, but still, I feel kind of guilty knowing that he's not being faithful. Should I say something to him or her, or just keep my nose out of it all together?
Sincerely,
Stuck in the Middle
Dear Stuck in the Middle,
I think it depends on how good of friends you are with them, and if you feel it is your responsibility as a friend to take action. If you aren't really that close with either of them, it might be best to not get involved in places where you are not wanted. If their relationship really isn't any of your business then you probably should not get involved. However, if you are a good friend of the girl and feel that it is your responsibility to tell her, then by all means, she deserves to know. You might not want to jump in right away and tell her everything without giving her boyfriend a chance to be honest and admit his mistake.You don't want him to feel as though you were not giving him the benefit of the doubt. If you think he's going to be deceptive and try to cover up the entire event then you should confront him and make sure he is fully aware you witnessed his lusty liaison. If he gets upset and takes out his anger on you as opposed to holding himself responsible, he's not worth calling a friend anyway. Let him know that his options are either to be upfront with his girlfriend or you'll spill his guts on your own. With this ultimatum, he is likely to choose the former in order to regain an ounce of the respect that he so quickly lost.
If you're feeling especially saucy, I have one word for you-blackmail. I'm not saying that you should ask for his first-born child or anything like that, but I bet you could nab some great CD's or free meals off of him, and maybe even, say, a puppy! Well, maybe I got a little carried away with the puppy idea. I imagine that infidelity is one of those social taboos that allow you to really have someone by the throat if you were to catch someone in the act, not that I would ever do such a heinous thing. I just figure that you always hear the saying that one person's trash is another person's treasure-in your case, it might be that someone's misfortune is your chance at getting some great things. After all, at least one person should get something good out of all this madness, and it sure isn't going to be either of them.
Dear Dockter Duval,
The Thanksgiving holiday is less than two weeks away and for the first time I might be spending it alone. I am wondering whether or not you think it is wrong of me to ask my roommate if I can spend Thanksgiving at her house. We've known each other for a few years now and although we're not best friends, I'd say we are still pretty close. I doubt that her family would mind, but I haven't mentioned to her yet that I'm not planning on going home. I haven't said anything because I didn't want to be invited out of pity to some place that I wasn't really welcome. Do you think it's wrong of me to ask her?
Sincerely,
Thanksgiving Hopeful
Dear Thanksgiving Hopeful,
I think that if you feel comfortable enough to spend Thanksgiving at your roommate's house, then there is a good chance that she is willing to have you. It is not at all uncommon for friends to spend Thanksgiving with each other when one cannot make it home to her respective family. If you are really worried about flat-out asking to spend Thanksgiving with her, mention in passing that you are not going home for Thanksgiving like you expected. You shouldn't jump into some sob story about how your Thanksgiving will be spent eating Cranberry Farm's turkey from Pavilion XI and how nobody loves you, because that would be categorically obnoxious. You'll probably get a pretty good feel of whether or not she would be receptive to having you over at the first mention of not spending next week with your family. Nobody wants to be alone during the holidays, and most people are willing to open their doors.
If you do finally end up at her house for Thanksgiving, here are some rules by which you must abide.
1) Do not use the last of the gravy.
Taking the last serving of anything equals instant alienation, and no matter how good the gravy, it just isn't worth it.
2) Hands off the wishbone.
Yes, it's a stupid ritual, but it's tradition nonetheless. You never know when it's going to carry extra meaning or significance from one family to the next, and some people get pretty feisty over this annual event. Plus, you should know that putting your hands on other people's bones is not acceptable behavior unless you're asked to do so.
3) If you're around the television watching football, watch the household and cheer accordingly.
Things might be going great, but one comment showing support for the other team, and it's all downhill from there. You'll be relegated to scraping the sides of the mashed potato dish to fill your stomach.
4) Don't drink the juice left over from the cranberry sauce.
No particular reason. It's just gross.
5) Don't bring up the presidential election.
That topic of conversation is growing old faster than Barbara Bush herself-enough already, I say we just flip a coin and get on with it.
Questions? Email Dockter Duval at advice@cavalierdaily.com
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