QUICK, who are the nine front-runners for the 2004 Democratic Presidential nomination? Stuck on Joe Lieberman and John Kerry? That's not too surprising considering the laundry list of no-name candidates running for the nomination of the no-identity party. With Howard Dean as the latest candidate to officially throw his hat into the ring for the 2004 nod, it is becoming downright difficult to keep track of the rag-tag group consisting of current and former U.S. senators and representatives, a former governor and a New York reverend. To put your mind at ease, here's a quick introduction to each of the nine candidates.
Howard Dean: A former Vermont governor who most notably told CNN shortly after Gulf War II ended that "we don't know yet" if it was a good thing that Saddam Hussein was removed from power. Perhaps Dean is also still pondering whether the invention of penicillin was also a "good thing." In a recent interview, Dean said he would like to more than quintuple renewable energy (solar, wind etc.) use in the US by 2010. It's a rhetorical question to ask what kind of car Dean drives. Naturally, an SUV.
John Kerry: Kerry currently represents Massachusetts in the U.S. Senate. He's affectionately known as "Mr. Flip-Flop" on the Iraq issue. In 1997, Kerry warned of the "ominous implications" associated with Saddam Hussein obtaining and stockpiling biological weapons. He called for a "strong U.N. military response" or even the "United States acting alone" if push came to shove. In 2003, however, Kerry claimed that President Bush had "misled Americans" in waging the war against Hussein and Iraq and called for a "regime change" in this country. In 2000, Democrats ran a former Tennessee senator masquerading as a northeastern liberal against Bush, and he lost. Somehow they think running an actual northeastern liberal will produce a different outcome. Oh, and according to the Center for Public Integrity, Kerry is worth between $200 and $800 million. That always goes over well with the middle-class working American.
Dick Gephardt: The Missouri congressman has struggled to find his niche, or more importantly, airtime, in his bid for the nomination. He lost the 1988 nomination to Michael Dukakis and then in an encore performance between 1996 and 2002, Gephardt as House minority leader failed to lead Democrats to a majority in four straight national elections. Maybe Gephardt should have played for the Buffalo Bills.
Dennis Kucinich: Best known as the "boy mayor" of Cleveland in the late 1970's, Kucinich does have one claim to fame: He led the city of Cleveland into financial default in 1978, the first time a major U.S. city defaulted since the Great Depression. Anti-War Coalition take note; in July of 2001 Kucinich introduced legislation (H.R. 2459) that would establish a Cabinet-level Department of Peace.
John Edwards: Edwards is a U.S. Senator from North Carolina who used to make a living as a "trial lawyer." Trial lawyers generally rank between repo men and Enron executives on a chart of most admirable professions. Edwards should receive credit for spinning the trial lawyer gig into a nifty campaign slogan: "I want to be a champion for the people I have fought for all my life -- regular people." Because all "regular people" are unaware of the fact that McDonald's coffee is hot and smoking tends to be hazardous to your health.
Bob Graham: Florida Senator Bob Graham, a former chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee, has the best ability of the nine to stand up to Bush on national security. For all the liberals who complain about Bush and the economy, they should take a peak at the economic skeletons in Graham's closet. Between 1978 and 1986 as governor of Florida, Graham increased spending an astounding 83 percent. Graham also managed to receive the grade of "F" the last five years from the National Taxpayers Union for fiscal responsibility.
Carol Moseley Braun: Braun, a former Illinois senator booted from office in 1998, is a former law professor and staunch gun control advocate. That didn't stop her from owning a .22 caliber handgun in Chicago for many years however. She's generally considered to share the "lower tier" with the aforementioned Kucinich and Rev. Sharpton.
Joe Lieberman: Lieberman, everyone's favorite "conservative Democrat" from Connecticut, apparently had an identity problem when it comes to party affiliation. He professes to be a Democrat but supports the death penalty for minors, favors a missile defense shield and investing social security payroll taxes in small markets, and signs off on billions for new F-22 fighters and Blackhawk helicopters. Harry Reid (D-Nev.), the Democratic Whip in the Senate, ought to take him out back and slap some sense into this confused member of the Democratic Party.
Al Sharpton: Saving the best for last, we have the Reverend Al Sharpton. Sharpton's biggest problem is that he doesn't realize the reason Americans don't want him as a president isn't because of his race. Rather, it might be due to the fact that he has never held public office or because of some of the ridiculous things he's said over the years. In 1995, Sharpton called a Jewish storeowner in Harlem a "white interloper" and in 1991 on a trip to Israel after the Crown Heights race riots, Sharpton declared, "I'm in hell already. I'm in Israel."
Whomever the Democrats decide to run against President Bush (currently Kerry and Lieberman lead in most polls) it will in the end be a let-down. The one candidate Democrats would love to see run, and the one candidate Republicans would love to see Bush beat more than any other, recently confirmed that she won't be running. Stay tuned until 2008, if the junior senator from New York and the governor of Florida both decide to run -- did someone say Bush vs. Clinton II?
(Joe Schilling is a Cavalier Daily columnist. He can be reached at jschilling@cavalierdaily.com.)
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