Welcome to the anxious and sadly, (depending on who you ask), innocent first years incessantly making themselves available to be beguiled by U.Va.'s un-finest.
Welcome back to the distraught and distressed upperclassmen and women who are still feeling the absence of that summer fling or graduation of that oh-so-caring fourth year.
Welcome to all those who saw the summer obliterate or, more likely, cut short (again, depending on who you ask) their long-term relationship or dreamful short-term fling.
And welcome to all those who I missed. With a new year, I thought it best to provide the guide to relationships at the University. Read and enjoy.
Another year at the University breeds new opportunities to survey life with the opposite or same sex. Yes, I said "survey." I know some students who have surveyed the landscape and attest that marriage, let alone dating, is for the birds. They may just consider that search for a significant other a few months before passing so the funeral bill will be covered. The opposite sex -- for the moment -- stands only as a playground to once again be surveyed (that's my first warning to first years).
Then, there are those unremittingly imagining Mr. or Mrs. Right. They can be a trap also -- every date is a test case to verify if you could be the babies' daddy or mamma (that's a warning to everyone). You will recognize this type when they say, "Can you imagine our future?" If you cannot imagine the future, run and head for the hills.
Then, there are those who are best categorized as "extremely explorative" for lack of a better phrase or politically correct lingo. Common phrases that give these students away include: "I'm a Lawny," "I'm a fourth year," "I have a car if you need a ride," "I'm Dr. K (unless it is me)," "I will be working for... (with any job that sounds prestigious; McDonald's does not count)" and "I just need a cuddle buddy" among others.
The new year also brings moments with old "friends" who provide the animation for the school year if you think you are lacking in that area. Depending on your year, you may want to address the issue in different ways:
Fourth years, remember that you have one more year with any of them, and then you can easily ride off into the sunset. Best advice for now may simply be to keep your space in whatever way you manage to do so.
Third years, learn that it is a part of life.
Second years, take the same cue and live with it.
First years, aren't you just so lucky?
If only some of us students had the opportunity to jettison a person one day and flee to a safe haven, otherwise known as college. OK, maybe it was a serious decision for several first years but surely not for all.
Lastly, a new year will yield one-night stands, STDs and pregnancies. On a serious note, be safe and smart. This is when I should make it clear I absolutely have no credibility in the medical field. Check with Student Health if any problems arise.
And remember, just because you have received some more freedom, it does not mean you do not have to lose yourself in it.
Kurt Davis is a Health & Sexuality Columnist. He can be reached at kurt@cavalierdaily.com
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