"The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists" is not an easy book to forget. The fact that it is bound like a Bible (complete with a red ribbon so you don't lose your place in the good word within) underscores the tale of Neil Strauss, the book's author and narrator. Once an "average frustrated chump" when it came to women (or AFC in seduction jargon), Strauss immersed himself in an underground community dedicated to the study and application of seduction -- the world of pickup. Over the course of two years, he consumed all manner of books, attended seminars held by seduction gurus and flew across the world meeting virtually every pickup master in the game. Along the way, Strauss started teaching his skills to others, eventually coming to be considered the top pickup artist (or PUA) in the world. "The Game" is his account of those years.
Reading at times like a how-to manual, an autobiography, a psychological text, a porno script and a confession, "The Game" is entirely true, according to Strauss. He delves deep into "the community," the group of men united by a common interest in learning how to seduce women. These men meet via the Internet and through real-life "lairs," clubs organized by city that bring AFCs and PUAs together in their quest to bed women. Taking on pseudonyms (Strauss is known as Style), a select few devote almost all of their time, money and energy to seduction. The result is a systematic and, they would argue, scientific break-down of the process of pickup.
Far from being pure scientists, the men chronicled in "The Game" apply their learning in the field. In the manner of professional performers, they run "routines" of memorized, pre-packaged material in their pickups. They invent and use a vast array of jargon to describe their interactions to each other. Tactics such as "negging" -- the practice of paying a woman a backhanded compliment in order to knock her off her pedestal -- are developed in order to give men an edge in the pickup process. The tiniest of minutiae, ranging from how to stand to what cologne to wear, are dissected on Internet message boards. Some, including Strauss, even move to a Hollywood mansion together in hopes of creating the ultimate party pad. They dub it "Project Hollywood," and from there they base their excursions to the Sunset Strip as they work their game.
And work it they do. Approaching women who are alone, in groups, with boyfriends, at bookstores, in supermarkets and at the expected nightclubs and bars, the PUAs in "The Game" defy convention when it comes to meeting new people. Many wear outlandish clothes to draw attention to themselves. Some develop specialties -- picking up strippers, initiating threesomes, stealing girls from underneath the noses of their boyfriends. Regardless of how others may view their ways, PUAs at the top of their game have an undeniable skill with women.
Sandwiched between stories of getting Britney Spears' number and gaming Playboy's Playmate of Year, however, is Strauss' account of these psychologically complex modern-day Casanovas. The pickup community's gurus, behind their aliases and invincible Internet personas, are men with their own demons. Mystery, indisputably the top player of the game before Strauss arrived on the scene, contemplates suicide. TylerDurden, a respected member of the community and founder of his own school of seduction, is in reality a pale, slight man, unwilling or unable to make eye contact when he meets people. Ross Jeffries, the founder of the pickup community, proves to be an impolite middle-aged man still living with his parents. What emerges is not a portrait of villainous, greasy lounge lizards but one of insecure men driven to change their ways by unhappiness with their personal and social lives.
Given that, "The Game" is very much a testament to people's ability to create positive changes in themselves. Indeed, much of the advice and training the PUAs offer consists of bolstering their protégés' confidence and self-esteem. Thinning hair? Shave your head. Unhappy with your wardrobe of checkered shirts and oversized jeans? Make a trip to the mall. Don't like your body? Get to the gym. In this sense, the teachers of seduction are not unlike Dr. Phil or any other motivational speaker, if a little hornier.
What is disturbing, according to Strauss, is the extremes to which many in the community go to turn their lives around. Routines and stories that he shares with the community become canon, serving as a crutch for others and supplanting their drive to come up with original conversational material for themselves. As he tours the world holding workshops, Strauss encounters more and more men whose adulation of him borders on worship. Some even shave their heads in emulation of him. This hero-worship, Strauss points out, is a reflection of the same neediness that drives the men to study the seduction of women in the first place. Ultimately, it turns them into "social robots" -- men who participate in the community for the sake of being a part of a social group. Their focus is no longer winning the affections of women, but being admired by men.
Of course, the motivations for pursuing women in the first place are of pivotal importance in "The Game." Driven by more than a desire for sex or companionship, the PUAs are ravenous in their quest to bed multitudes of women, showing the backlash of correcting their former social ineptitude. They brush aside emotional attachments, remaining largely uncritical of their reasons for sleeping around. Strauss observes that many are outright misogynists, the result not of some inherent evil but of the fact that their identities hinge on the attention they receive from women.
Recognizing this, Strauss writes that the only way to win the game is to leave it. When asked how he felt about his study of pickup, however, he responded, "I wouldn't hesitate to do it all over again." With the social skills and confidence he learned from approaching thousands of women, he met his current girlfriend, a strong-willed woman who resisted his lines and routines and forced him to be candid, both with her and with himself.
Unfortunately, it's impossible to do "The Game" justice in so short a column. Filled with celebrity encounters, insightful revelations on the process of attraction and moments both hilarious and poignant, suffice it to say that "The Game" is definitely worth picking up.
David T. Roisen is a Cavalier Daily Health & Sexuality columnist. He can be reached at dave@cavalierdaily.com.
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