One day last year, my roommate called me into her room to listen to a song. Like any other pop song with a female vocal, it was catchy and upbeat, and I confess I was soon unable to resist tapping my feet to the beat. My roommate however was waiting for a different reaction, which she got about a minute later when my eyebrows shot up to my hairline. Actually listening to the lyrics revealed it was a catchy, upbeat song about masturbating.
Last year, I found myself sitting in a room full of old high school friends -- the kind of friends that speak very candidly about anything from bowel movements to politics. We had just finished two exhilarating games of "Scene It" and the conversation was dying into debates over which director had a cameo in which film. Finding this less than entertaining, I decided to exercise one of my favorite activities -- breaking the silence by asking an embarrassingly direct question. I turned to my friend, whom we all call Dirty Steve (a name he is quite proud of) and asked, "When was the last time you masturbated?"
Not only was I shocked that he answered (5 p.m. the day before), but to my absolute amazement the question circled the room and each of the four guys and three girls answered in turn. Most of the answers (if not all) were within 48 hours. I know someone who believes most people (at least most females) don't masturbate, yet here's a room full of people readily admitting to it. Half of these people were in relationships of some sort and still exercising this age-old right of self-pleasure.
Views on masturbating no doubt vary just as views on sex vary. I know a person who feels her partner is failing her if she feels the need to masturbate. That seems like a lot of pressure to put on the partner.
I think masturbating can be a healthy part of a relationship. Knowing how to work your own equipment is probably the best way to guide your partner. Case in point, I had a friend who was having sex for a solid year before she ever had an orgasm. The reason: she had no idea how to get herself off. Once she discovered masturbating, it was pretty smooth sailing.
What works for one person won't necessarily work for another. So if someone is trying to stimulate you and it's not working, you don't have to bark orders, but some prods in the right direction might be appreciated. It might feel weird, but if you have to take over and demonstrate, it could pay off in the end.
Now that I've established masturbating as a relationship tool, let's look at it from a more hedonic angle. It feels good, gets the blood flowing, burns calories and heck, it's fun. Guys are probably more likely to speak of it without shame, but I know the ladies are doing it too. If you want sexual pleasure without emotions or labels, masturbate, because your hands will never leave you (minus some unforeseen dismemberment).
For some people, masturbating is a boredom activity. I've found that some of the people in this category have molded their habits to suit technology. More than one person has admitted to me that they learned to masturbate with their left hand so their right can continue using the mouse. For others, masturbation serves as a tension release. I have a friend who compares masturbating to a spiritual experience because she says it allows her to clear her mind and release stress.
A few things to keep in mind:
1. Masturbating won't cause pregnancy or an STD (well, depending on where your hands have been).
2. You won't go blind from masturbating but you might get a muscle cramp.
3. If you find you are unable to leave your room/bathroom/study lounge because you are so busy masturbating, you should cut back.
Megan Hein is a Cavalier Daily Health & Sexuality Columnist. She can be reached at hein@cavilierdaily.com.
Read More
U.Va. Health sees a spike in COVID-19 cases
By Emily Horn | September 4, 2023U.Va. Health ended their vaccination requirements in August, and masks were made optional in most hospital areas in early April.
U.Va. Cancer Center harnesses $12 million grant to support opportunities for undergraduates, ongoing research and new center
By Ellen Wu | January 12, 2023The grant provides an opportunity to establish the Center for Systems Analysis of Stress-Adapted Cancer Organelles, which seeks to find the cause of cancer in individual organelles.
U.Va. Health's rural neurology clinics receive a $500,000 grant to fund research and patient care
By Shrinidhi Kittur | January 12, 2023Established in the rural towns of Tazewell, Abingdon and Wise, the clinics have been providing patient care to otherwise underserved populations for decades.
