So far this year, my column has dealt with how to get women and issues such as threesomes and sexual assault. Today, the topic deals more with sex theory. Men who have promiscuous sex are seen as "players," while women who participate in the same activities are perceived as "sluts." Why does a double standard for men and women exist?
Biologically, the human race survived in its earliest days because of constant reproduction and food availability, among many other factors.
Because humans have the ingrained instinct to reproduce their own genetic makeup, each man and woman will do what he or she can to ensure he or she has children and that those children will survive. Men seek to "spread their seed" as much as possible to as many different women as they can, because not every woman is necessarily fertile.
"Males can reproduce with females of varying quality and nothing is lost if she does not reproduce," University Sociology Prof. Bob McConnell said. "For a male to reproduce there is a much smaller investment."
On the other hand, McConnell said the "female is looking at nine months of intensive energy investment plus years of investment to make her offspring viable."
Women seek to keep a man close to protect themselves and their children. They may also have sex with many men in order to reproduce, but risk the possibility that men will claim the child is not theirs and deny responsibility.
Women, according to McConnell, want "one good, high-quality male" and are "looking at getting the most out of [their] investment."
McConnell, however, was quick to point out that while "this is the underlying basis for human sexual behavior ... This is a general basis with a huge range of variability."
Though Americans generally do not think of survival in these terms, the instinctual drives, to a certain extent, still seem to exist. While a white dress at a wedding symbolizes virginity, there is no male equivalent. Whether your tuxedo has a bowtie does not necessarily symbolize anything about your sex life.
Women, however, have no biological interest in promiscuous men. McConnell uses the example of "cads and dads," in which he argues that women generally want to find men open to a committed relationship. Women are generally searching for men who want to have children.
Women may talk to each other and warn their friends about a man who would merely take advantage of them. Gossip is a protective tool women use against these types of men. McConnell mentioned Braithwaite's theory of reintegrative shaming, which states in part that gossip can be a means by which people inform each other about the anti-social behaviors of certain people.
Women may use gossip as a means of social control, as it may restrain a man from behaving anti-socially because he may know women are gossiping about him. He may feel remorse and shame knowing that others are talking about him in this way. Gossip is able to keep some men in line.
McConnell pointed out, however, that men might be more concerned with what other men perceive as their sexual success than with the subject of women's gossip.
From personal experience, I would argue that many men might encourage women to be promiscuous to their faces then shun them when talking to their friends. This way, they do not have to invest large amounts of time and energy into women from whom they can get what they want quickly. Have you ever heard the phrase, "Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?"
Promiscuous men may pretend to be nice to women and confuse them about who the nice men are. This is why there is a whispering war of disguised intentions between men and women. Biologically, men and women do not have the same goals. Fight on.
Colin Clark is a Cavalier Daily Health & Sexuality columnist. He can be reached at cac5xk@virginia.edu.
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