College is defined by many as a period of rebel-rousing, all-around substance abuse and few to no problems. This is because any problems that do come up can usually be squelched by one or more manufactured delicacies guaranteed to keep you going. Can't stay awake any longer? I've got caffeine in three different forms, and they all get the job done. Need to focus a little harder? Adderall will take care of that wandering mind. Not having the best week ever? Well for that there are blunts, bongs, shots, cups, needles, pills and pints of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. And if none of those are making you forget that flunked exam on their own, feel free to indulge in a medley of the aforementioned goodies. All in all, there are plenty of ways to mitigate, if not completely escape, any problems that may come up in this utopia of academia. But just when you think that Mother Nature has supplied us all of the essentials for living a life free from reality, a little ditty known as unrequited love comes along.
For those of you who don't know what unrequited love is, you have probably gotten a fairly decent taste if you've ever happened upon a Hugh Grant film. It is love felt for someone who just doesn't feel the same way about you. It is also the predominant reason why most people are scared half to death to make the first move towards a relationship -- for fear that the attraction is one-sided.
But I am not here to tell you what you already know: that you must rise above your fears and be bold; that you cannot succeed unless you try; that you must believe that you have a fighting chance. I am sure that these slogans have been all too well burned into the back of your mind, and it wouldn't be prudent of me to discuss them in detail.
What I feel is important to discuss, however, is how to deal with rejection. Many people subconsciously base their value and their worth on who loves them, and when the one that matters the most says no, they've got no leg to stand on. This leads to a search for anything that can block out the hurt. But it seems that all most people have ever learned from their other problems is that the easiest way out of this discomfort is to get drunk, get high or get both.
This, however, can only make it go away for so long, and then you're back to being sober and miserable, aka: square 1. So what's my solution?
Although I'm not a psychologist or a doctor or really anyone that should be looked to for advice, I think that it's all about getting your self-worth back. Drugs can't do anything for your self-esteem, but there are so many other ways to do it. Friends and family are the ones who love you the most, and it's always a good idea to turn to them. Also, the University offers plenty of resources to help deal with emotional stress, including a help line and a mental health counseling program. Though I think we all know that we have something that is good inside each and every one of us, being involved in a situation such as this can cloud most people's ability to see that they are important in and of themselves. That's why there are people there to help you regain what you may have lost and to get you back on track to being the person you want to be.
Though my column is supposed to center on the male perspective of dating, it seems that there is something to be said for the fact that, in the long run, the only person you need to impress is yourself. I also think that this key point is often clouded by the fact that everything in us tells us that we need to be out there finding someone who will see the best in us. Maybe this is true and we should be ? combing through potential interests, but it should never be the case that your health and happiness suffer as a result. So ... "Celebrate we will, for life is sweet but short for certain." Not in the bottom of a glass, but in the fact that we have hope. And hope is good.
Andy's columns runs biweekly Monday. He can be reached at taylor@cavalierdaily.com.
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